Saturday, May 30, 2020

Morris and Paul

Morris showed up at this desk in the Ministry of Government and Consumer Services at a quarter to nine, took off his jacket, opened The Globe and Mail and began to do the crossword puzzle. This would continue through his coffee break and into his lunch hour. Morris was a small neat man, built somewhat like Peter Lorre, with a small black toupee and grey pasty skin. Paul arrived at the office a few minutes after nine. Paul was a tall version of W. C. Fields. He removed his jack and took a seat at his desk. He threw one of his long legs over the other, took a toothpick out of his shirt pocket and began to pick his teeth. I was a file clerk.

“What's you doing there, Maurice.” Paul asked. He knew what Morris was doing. Morris did the same thing everyday. But it pleased Paul to ask. And he called Morris, Maurice, for the same reason.

“What's a six letter word for enthusiasm?” Morris asked.

“A six letter word...” Paul pondered. “Vivacity.”

“That's eight letters,” Morris replied.

“Take a couple of letters out,” Paul responded, then added, “I think I might go out to lunch today. Something Mexican. Would you like to go, Maurice?”

“I brought a lunch,” Morris responded.

“How about Chinese, then,” Paul replied.

“I have a tuna fish sandwich,” Morris exclaimed.

“Tuna fish... eh. Who made it for you?”

“My mother.”

Paul thought about that for a moment. He knew that Morris's mother had made the sandwich.

“I'm thinking of growing a moustache,” he said.

........................download CAMEOS


Thursday, May 28, 2020

BETWEEN THE BOTTLE AND THE BOTTOM

Here I am again between the bottle and the bottom

the balcony door open like a mouth

the sixth floor yawns the world awaits

to swallow me whole. I have an appetite for bacon fat

on toast with jam. Thinning hair and leaking pipes. I marvel

at this whispered life.

......................download

THE BANKERSARE SWINGING FROM THE CRUCIFIX



Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Sally Moore


8:00 A.M. WINDSOR, ONTARIO

Woke up at 4. 5. And 7. Had a shower. Bothered by a rash. Set the coffee. Timer. Left a kiss on her forehead. Took out the trash.

Sunlight crawling over the roofs.

There's something going on in the parking lot near the red Toyota. Two shadows are now one.

Traffic chaos. Kids are screaming, like Ann Coulter, in the back seat. The radio gives you the impression that the general public is being tortured by the heat.

Trucks lined up on the Ambassador Bridge. Waiting for inspection. I feel like jumping into a different life. Somewhere where Irene still thinks about me and our dreams haven't been pissed away.

Car in front slams on his breaks. License plate. 'God doesn't think about you. He's too busy with the Baptists.'

..........................................download 'My Hair Is On Fire'


Tuesday, May 26, 2020

The Widow Sat Down Beside Her

Mrs. Murphy, often called the Widow, propped up in her walker. Her arms like wires. Leaned against the counter in the cosmetic section of the drug store looking into the mirror that was looking back. She played with her hair. Remembering those cool April evenings, when in front of her vanity she drew a brush through her thick long brown hair. And the mice scurried across the floor. And looked up her night dress.

Without turning her head away, she spoke. Like she was Alanis Morissette.

“I used to be a great beauty.”

Deborah Hall, the cosmetician stood on the other side of the counter. Like a secretary waiting on the corner. For her boss, a married man, to pick her up. Cleaning the glass counter top with a dry cloth and no sense of humour.

Deborah hadn’t heard Mrs. Murphy. She’d been thinking of last weekend. It was already Tuesday and she was still thinking about Frank. About how funny he’d reacted when she told him that he should make use of a good deodorant. Right after his eyes had rolled up in his head beads of sweat rolling down his forehead onto Deborah’s chest and that terrible lonely sigh slipping out of his lungs when he had reached his orgasm. Or what passed. He hadn’t phoned back. And it was Tuesday.

Deborah Hall looked at the Widow. Patiently. She’d heard the old lady’s story so many times. It was tiresome. How all the young men of her village had fought each other for the privilege of her... company. How she had met them in the parlor. Did anyone have a parlor anymore? She met them with the doors open. So that her mother could hear everything happening. As if anything happened. How the last one standing had proposed to her. Not standing. But kneeling. A sentimental cliché. But still romantic. And tragic in a kind of pathetic way.

Mrs. Murphy had fallen for someone else. Was that possible? A fellow she’d met while she’d been with Harry looking for his new car. Did she actually fall? Harry was another suitor. More interested in big automobiles. He never called them cars. Mrs. Murphy’s mother did not approve of Harry. He had grease under his fingernails. Why wouldn’t he? He was a mechanic. Owned his own service station. Wore his uniform as proudly as any sailor. Maybe her mother was right. He smoked. Held his cigarette in his teeth. Too tight. Like the Germans. There was a bad lot in the big city. Where temptation lay in small hotel rooms with the windows open on hot sticky August evenings. Mrs. Murphy told Deborah how someone across the way had watched them making love. Her and Harry. From another building. Where they made fans. On his lunch break. And Harry wasn’t the one she’d fallen for. That was Earl. He was an accountant. In his father’s business. And the fellow was standing in the window boldly holding his male thing in his hand while Harry did what he was proud of. And Earl was bound to inherit the business. And a comfortable living. And with the right woman, an ambitious woman, maybe expand into real estate. Mrs. Murphy believed in property. It’s the only thing that they’re not making any more of. Unless we travel the stars. And then all bets were off. And Mrs. Murphy stopped. To take a breath.

For a brief moment Deborah considered confiding in Mrs. Murphy. Should she phone Frank back? Or just chalk it up as one more guy? Who couldn’t appreciate a good thing. But then dismissed the idea. Talking to Mrs. Murphy. How could you trust anyone who had so much stuff dangling from her? And we’re not talking about jewelry. From the chin, the neck, under the arms. And we don’t want to imagine anything else. Being old is so hideous.

“Dear,” the Widow said. Attempting to get Deborah’s attention. From her own selfish thoughts. Maybe laying with her lover. Under a tree. Where’s it’s shady. Deborah smiled. Mrs. Murphy had succeeded.

Then all the young men were gone. Mrs. Murphy continued. This time as she had on previous occasions. Gone. Young men sucked up in the war. Lost in foreign mud. With her image in their hearts. Like a thorn in our Saviors flesh.

That’s what it is. She’s Pathetic. Deborah believed when she stood in her smart little outfit in the drugstore. But in those moments late in the evening when Deborah was alone. She wondered. As she cleansed her face with care. Whether she would feel that way when she was Mrs. Murphy’s age. And how fast that time might come. And would she have any memories of her own. To soothe a lonely soul.

Mrs. Murphy leaned over the counter and whispered to the cosmetician.

“There are only two things that smell like fish,” she said. “And one of them is fish.”

“Mrs. Murphy!” Deborah cried and stepped away. The widow often talked like this in Deborah’s ear. When there was no one about. If only the old lady would speak loud enough for others to hear, she would have a witness. And proof enough to have her removed from the store.

Deborah turned on the old woman and spoke lowly as if in confidence.

“How can you talk to me like this? Such intimacies should not be shared amongst strangers. And we are certainly not friends.”

The old woman giggled and returned to her previous conversation.

“Oh, yes,” the Widow said standing more erect to get a look at her bosom in the mirror. “I had all the young men eating out of my…” She smiled at Deborah and added. “Lap.”

“Mrs. Murphy, you mustn’t…”

The widow stepped back over to the counter and took Deborah’s hands in hers. Took them swiftly. Like a thief. Ready to run off.

“All my life I’ve been holding back but not now. It’s so liberating being my age. You can say anything and be forgiven.”

“But I…”

“Don’t you have gentlemen friends,” the widow asked, “who, in the heights of passion, whisper lovely obscenities in your ear?”

At that moment a mouse ran down the middle of the aisle. Deborah Hall unable to scream, pointed at the small furry animal. Mrs. Murphy turned and seeing the animal, brought her foot down heavily on the floor. The tiny creature disappeared under the Widow’s shoe. A moment later a pool of blood crawled out. Deborah Hall, about to scream, fainted instead.

..................download "Open 24 hrs"




Monday, May 25, 2020

Josephine

Josephine

Josephine graduated from high school with honors and entered college. Studying science. Headed for a career in medicine. It was thought how wonderful it would be if she was the first female to become the county coroner. Josephine took a summer job at the local drug store. Her father, who was a police officer, had connections with Mr. Edwards, one of the owners. Josephine loved working as a cashier. So much so that she considered quitting college and working full time. Her father forbade Josephine from making this decision. Anyone with your I.Q. should not be working in a drug store the rest of your life.

And then something happened. There was a boy. Paul McGregor smiled at Josephine the first day she worked in the drug store. The first moment she walked through the front sliding doors. The first time she walked out of the Ladies’ room wearing her blue and ruby uniform. Josephine had been blind sided, struck by Cupid’s arrow. Working at her cash register, she would glance down the aisle hoping to see Paul. Working. Merely walking by.

I’m mad about the boy. A gay appeal that makes me feel that there is something sad about the boy.

On her breaks Josephine would sneak out to the back of the drug store where Paul went to smoke. She wouldn't speak to him. Would stand there like she was out for a break of fresh air. Like she was lost in thought. One day Paul offered her a cigarette and she took it. Smoked like she’d be born to it.

Chained her to the cigarette. And the boy.

Occasionally Paul would come up and talk to her and May when business was slow. Paul was a mysterious figure to Josephine. He smoked. He shaved his head. Though it was obvious his hair was red. Like a Russian. His eyes were dark. Like some count. In the court of Catherine. And he liked to read books. The only person Josephine ever met who read Moby Dick for pleasure. And he wanted to be a writer.

If only I could employ some magic that would finally destroy this dream that chains me to this boy.

Josephine wrote as well. Mostly poetry. About romance. And unspeakable crimes against loneliness. Unmentionable acts against decency. She submitted her work to several magazines. And was published. More than once. The publisher encouraged her to write more. And she did. But she kept all this quiet. Her father did not approve of such frivolous activities as poetry. Won’t pay the rent! was his usual refrain to any activity he didn’t agree with. Nor did she tell her mother. The content of her poems would have scandalized her mother, a religious and rather prudish woman.

One day when Josephine caught Paul writing in a small book he always seemed to keep on him, Josephine mentioned that she wrote. Paul encouraged her to bring in some work so he could read it. She did. When Paul finished reading three of her pieces he just stared at her, his mouth hanging open.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she finally asked.

“They’re very… adult.” He smiled awkwardly.

“You think I’m a pervert?” Josephine asked. “I’m taking an introductory course in psychology at college and I have all the symptoms.”

................from my ebook "Open 24 Hours"




Ria Lo


Thursday, May 21, 2020

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Without God

Without God, or some disengaged third party, we would not have the moment of stillness. The

moment that overlooks everything, outside time and space, where it could be said that 'this' is reality.

Like the life guard in his tower. Spooky action. Or transmitted entangled photons. In Einstein's universe

there does not appear to be what a lay man would think of as reality. The landscape we play our lives

in. Faced with this, artists create their own universes. Alternate realities. Distractions. Colour against

the greyness. Which lead us down a long maze. A tangled spool of wool. The puzzle. And we're back

to Descartes again. I am.

.....................download Things I Forgot To Say At My Funeral



Monday, May 18, 2020

English Students

Why is it that so many students who take English end up never reading again? My view is that there

is too much preaching. What you need is discussion. A good teacher can bring this about. But what

I see too often are science labs. Observation. Analysis. Conclusion. The other thing I have noticed

over a number of years is writers who write to be taught. Perhaps it is comforting to imagine young

people dissecting and analyzing every metaphor, image, idea that you come up with. But it does not

lead to good writing.

................................download THINGS I FORGOT TO SAY AT MY FUNERAL


Thursday, May 14, 2020

Women model dresses

I try on ideas like WOMEN MODEL DRESSES. I see if they fit me. Am I comfortable? Do they bring out the best that I have to offer the world? Reading Einstein was like changing my whole wardrobe. But relativity affected my inner ear. Motion sickness. The nausea of everything swirling around. Change. You can’t step into the same river twice. Made my head spin. I need a still point. Oh, for the innocence of the 13th century. The earth was the centre of the sky. Man was the centre of creation. The Church was the word of God.

…………………………………………….download Second Thoughts


Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Emily

Emily had an old face. She always seemed sad. She was quiet. Sitting in front of me in Miss Kelly's class she hardly spoke. Never answered a question. About anything. And she started to bring me things. Candy from the store. Comic books. I never gave her anything. And then on a summer evening I broke into her family's home and started reading her diary. She had so many adventures. And admirers. Then I realized she was making it all up. Sex stuff. She wanted to have sex with her brother. But he didn't want to. Threatened to tell her parents. This was stuff you couldn't get out of your head.

.........................................................

download Mario: A Lost Boy


Monday, May 11, 2020

Donna Evilicious

More characters as yet to be assigned to their stories.

Flat Earth

.........................................................................................

On Jack (my planet) everyone is a believer. In a flat earth.

Not the geography. But history.

Time is a cliff we fall over. God is waiting to catch us. But he has no arms.

I got to thinking that I have no right to tell my children what I've found. Empty cupboards. A sadness so heavy and without reason.

But in all of this they send the poets to teach classes in literature in eastern universities.

Where the end of every poem has a smile.



Sunday, May 10, 2020

THOUGHTS TOO DARK TO BE QUIET

Flowers shot out of the vase. Like Cape Kennedy.
Across the living room rug. All those young boys lives.
Splattered across Vietnam. I saw Superman
crawling out of the television set. He was weeping
for America. But America was buried under
a rock. Someplace in Arizona.
All our hope in the nation state. Has begun
to wane. We are returning to castles, princes, and the Holy
Roman empire. We don't need heroes. Or crusades.
We need clean water. And a violin plays
while the planet disappears into space.
...........................
 download

Saturday, May 9, 2020

I AM ANGRY

I AM ANGRY

i am angry all of the time.
keeps me warm at night, offers compatible company.
but i'm getting old.
you can tell because blueberries go right through your system
unblemished.
my back, knees, my fingernails are being worn down
by the strain.
the anger riots in my stomach and naps in my brain.
no matter how much i vent, i still feel the same.
......................................

 

Friday, May 8, 2020

liar


Matinee

download 'Somewhere in the 1970s'
..........................
Matinee

Theatre floors. Sticky. Popcorn like burrs. Bull frog in the corner. Belched. Lovers in the back row. Crunching on crackers and marmalade. Red exit sign stared into the darkened room. Unblinking. Like it was keeping its own counsel. My heart was in the coke holder.

On the screen a man was pleading. For his Mexican life. Weeping. Before the dark gringo. Clint Eastwood turned to the audience. He wasn't smiling. Eyes smoking. Finger twitched. There was a gasp from the audience.

The seat beside me was gutted. A spring dangling. Out of the belly. Of Monica's nightmare. I remember her staring down at her purse. On the floor. Bleeding.

Monica had an abortion. Clint grinned. Bit off the end of a cigar. 'Everything was too complicated,' she said. 'How was I going to explain a baby to my husband?' I felt cheated. 'If you knew, what difference would it have made? Look around you. Life is despised.' A gun shot. Clint relit his cigar. The audience laughed.

Twelve feet tall. Wearing a white gown. Covered in dust. Passing sentence on everyone he met. Clint loved to feed his gun.

Exit. Outside. Sunlight was roaming the street in gangs. Everyone wore shades. Even the truth. Slipping down Yonge Street. Passed the panhandlers, the No Parking signs, the Hare Krishna from Buffalo. Stepped into a bar. A waitress served fries. And beer. A blonde on a platform. In a slinky dress that shimmered. Singing a Billie Holiday tune. Forbidden fruit. A stripper stood on another platform. Scar on her belly. A baby or an appendix. I ordered a beer.

Monica said that there were 2 other girls. At the clinic. Waiting alone with her. One was scared to death. The other chewed gum. And spit out her teeth. A doctor passing by. Dropped a bag of blood. It ran in little fingers across the floor. The doctor ordered the stripper to pick it up. I kept looking at the singer. Thinking. I could change her heart.

The waitress brought over my beer. I gave her a bill. Of some kind. And waved off the change. She made small talk. Single syllable words that sounded like silence. 'Honey,' she said. 'You look like shit.' I smiled and told her I'd been involved in some medical experiments. She nodded to the bartender. Took a seat. Said that she needed a break. Her feet were killing her. Lit up a cigarette. Blew a smoke ring. And I saw an angel. Being buried in a cloud.


Thursday, May 7, 2020

Thor

download 1948: Things to Come
.........................
My father was a professional wrestler. Lord Athol Layton called him the 'terror from the North'. My father was called Thor. He carried a large wooden mallet. He used it to level opponents in the chest. He called it Odin's heart attack. One of his most famous bouts was with Sweet Dady Siki in Madison Square Garden. My dad said that Sweet Dady was also a country and western singer. Like Gene Autry. Who the hell was Gene Autry? The worst thing about wrestling was 'B.O.' Some wrestlers did not shower regularly. Afraid perhaps of losing their allure.


Wednesday, May 6, 2020

time


Doger Ransel

On October 19 of 2017 a long cigar like figure was seen passing through the sky. Oumuamua, it was named. No explanation for its nature was brought forth before it disappeared once again into mystery. In 1948 Doger Ransel bought a Land camera, the Model 95, in Boston at Jordan Marsh department store for $89.75. He wanted to make postcard pictures of his girl Mercury DeBlanc. They went to a park and an isolated corner where they couldn't be seen. Doger captured dear Ms. DeBlanc's smooth milky breasts. And something else. A long cigar like figure moving through the sky across the face of the sun making the yellow ball appear to be laughing. 
......................download 1948: Things To Come


Tuesday, May 5, 2020

the organist


The Terror: Spectators #3

a bat
dropped out of the belfry
almost mating
with the judge’s toupee
darted left
almost entering a woman’s scream
looped over and
up and to the
right
everyone ducked
sergeant at arms ordered
curtains drawn
a cat leaped from the floor to the judge’s bench
lights doused
the courtroom turned blind
all that could be heard was heavy breathing wings
flapping a child like screech
and a cat .................................................. laughing like a gatling gun.

............................download 'murder'


Monday, May 4, 2020

touch


about the hanging

the courthouse poured out the crowd
who carried the accused
upon
their finger tips...............beneath
........................................cracked plaster sky
a violin and the moon passed
twisted shaken trees
a sailor trembling on the beach
handcuff'd peasants on their knees
crystal tears silver smiles in a cage
haunting wailing choirs
a french girl
pointed.............................. to the flag pole
the mob unravelled him
and hung him
from the
top
where he waved in the wind
'IT WASN'T ME.'
.......................................................download murder

 

Saturday, May 2, 2020

My Father

My father was the kindest of men. He lived near the plant so that he could be home
early, so that he could unplug the eaves troughs, so that he could reinvent the basement
in a dream he had of paradise, so that he could hold my mother. The plant made
tires, with a ceiling just over eight feet, crowded with heat and the stench of hot
rubber. For forty years he worked there so that he could come home, pick up my head
or my sister’s, and toss it in the sky like a ball. And he would laugh. But his face was
so distant. Like he was watching me and my sister from a great distance. Like he was
living on borrowed time. Like he was trying to store up his memories, making home
movies in his head. Looking over his shoulder. Wondering when it was coming. And
then it came. And father lay half in and half out of his bed in his underwear. He lay
there cold and distant like he always had. A mystery. Love in a brief glimpse.
...........................................download Hard Brush Soft Paint