Half price

If the gates of hell opened. People would rush in. All you'd have to say is 'there's a sale'

Eye witness

People used to see a lot of more of God in the Old Testament. Especially on long weekends. But since photography took hold not so much. We pretty well have to rely on eye witnesses. And that's proved to be pretty unreliable.

Mustard gas

People across the street used to dine in their  Living Room. We watched them from the mausoleum.

Who's the fairest of them all?

Sometimes its better not to ask.

Make it me

Two nickels a dime and a quarter in the fountain....

I'll be watching you

Sometimes you just have to look. Someone is out there.

Pigs

They look funny in their rollerskates and blue skirts.