It’s a good place to think. The bench. To mull over ideas. That’s my
madness. Everywhere I look I see patterns. Patterns are someone’s idea,
someone’s creation. Order is recklessly rearranging the furniture around
us. Old buildings being replaced by new buildings. Old people dropping
dead at the feet of children. Order giving birth in the ashes of death.
Order is my God. Patterns are His skin. I need a universe in which
everything makes sense. What else is consciousness for? We were put here
as witnesses. But why does God need us as witnesses? Why does God need
us at all? When I was a small boy I would wander out into the backyard
of my parents suburban home and look up onto the night sky at the stars
and ask what all this was about. And just as I finished asking the
question, I discovered that I was an old man.
.
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The Writer as a Man
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