suicide

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Daddy Is Waking Up From Breakfast

poems from 1965-1970
(excerpt)
SUICIDE
i was sitten on a park bench tryen to decide whether i should scratch myself when a man from all state insurance comes up, taps his foot, frets his tongue, & smiling like bela lugosi asks me i had a light. he
asks what i do so i tell him i make up lines for funeral stones. yesterday i made up one, ‘Born 1948, not dead yet, but trying’.
he slaps me on the knee & laughs, ‘my but you’re a funny one, and i know a funny one when i spot them. ask anyone you meet if beater howcome doesn’t know a funny one. why just the other day i traded in my bells. they were absessed, you know. very painful. traded them in for a crack. don’t do that boy. never get married. she’s cleaning out the drains of the milkman, the breadman, and the paper boy. burns me up boy. burns me. burns. read a story in reader’s digest. march i think. don’t quote me on that. ya, it was march. i remember the picture on the front of a barrel of raisins. read in there where some guy shot his wife for the same thing. got off. the guy actually got off. thats of course in the old world. i’d do it myself but it might affect the delivery of my milk, bread, and newspaper. love to read ann landers. sent her a letter.

 just then this guy pours lighter fluid over him & ignites himself.
i was rather shocked, feeling kinda embarrassed, not knowing what to do. so i pulled out some marshmellows (kraft’s jet puff’d) & was having a gay old time when a cop comes up with a girl called barji (her name was carved in her forehead). fuzz told me that the flames of my fire were too high for a recreation area. but he said he’d let me off with a warning this time if i took care of barji who had pulled up her dress & was warming herself in the fire just like joan of arc.
-let me see that again-
he said he’d let me off with a warning this time if i took care of barji who was putting on some rouge and was dressing in the mirror. she told me she was afraid of getting sea sick.

“o it aint that bad. you might even grow to stand for it. i only got sick the first five times.”
“ya,” she said “but i was really the first female to go this far. what will the bitter kids say. oh, president johnson was such a liar. you know he had t leave because his ears started to grow, and i know that, for a fact. ya know its kind sad cus he was just getting used to hiding the easter eggs.”
& then she smiled and & i could tell her teeth were capped with maggots. so we did it the french way and & slowly i became ill. “you aint’ as good as frances.” “who’s frances.” “the pig.” i was really getting nauseous. i think i enhaled too much smoke. just then chaos better known as duche, one of the founding fathers of the bitter kids, came in, stared at me, punched me in the eyelid & took off with barji. there didn’t seem much else to do so i laid on the ground tryen to bleed.