THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Four
THE GREAT GATSBY
INTRODUCTION
[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.
[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Mr. Faster your assignment today is English Literature. You will be replacing Mr. Lupidor. Part of our new policy regarding Supply Teachers is that they take on added duties. Mr. Pound, our principal, has requested that you wash his car. Everything you need will be available in the Maintenance Room.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995
FIRST SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
A MARVELLOUS CONFESSION
FADE to white. CUT to CLOSE UP of the face of Bill Marvellous. He has a congenial smile, which flashes across his face involuntarily. Periodically his white eyebrows flicker on his forehead as if they were struggling to free themselves from his face.
MEDIUM SHOT… Marvellous looks down, playing nervously with his fingers, digging dirt out from under his nails. Bill Marvellous is dressed in the orange outfit of the jail. He sits on a stool, identical to David Faster in previous episodes. Occasionally he takes a deep breath and shoves his chest out arrogantly only to have it collapse once again into his thoughts.
MARVELLOUS: “What have I become? Thousand dollar suits have been rewoven into these robes. Nothing rhymes with orange except convict. I have always tried to conduct myself in a manner befitting my station in life. What is my station, now? I am not an enemy of the state, a pariah, an outlaw. If our society lasts a thousand years you will not find a more trusted servant. And if the West is in decline, allow me to be one of its beloved pallbearers. I will weep softly over the burning corpse.”
[CAMERA… CUT to slightly different angle
“I understand that by turning Crown’s evidence I will be offered immunity from future persecution. To relieve my family and friends of further suffering, I have consented to plead guilty to some minor violations of the law. I would also like to state for the record that I cannot find any guilt in my heart. If I am guilty of anything it was the squandering of my faith on those who would deceive a kind and trusting creature.”
[CAMERA… Bill Marvellous rises from his chair. He is unsure of what to do next. He looks around for direction. In a kind of bewildered haze he sits back down.
MARVELLOUS: “I inherited Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services from my dad… father-in-law. The old man is retired in a small cottage on the coast of Ireland nursed by my dear daughter, Samantha… step-daughter. What a comfort she has been since my recent ill fortune. Charges that she was in any way involved with these events are monstrous. And as to the smut the tabloids have printed… I will not honour them with a comment. Granted, her mother was committed to a sanitarium. Mental illness is not a crime. And this idle speculation about some incestuous relationship between my step-daughter and my father-in-law. The old man is in his eighties for Christ’s sake! Certainly the old man has a bit of a romantic flair. And in his youth, he met all the tabloid credentials for scandal. And Samantha could have used better judgment in posing for those pictures. But, they were tastefully done, I am led to believe. We’ve all been under a great deal of stress. Can I leave now?”
[CAMERA… Bill Marvellous looks around for permission to leave his cell. Finding none, he slouches. For a few moments he says nothing. There is rough cut in the tape and once more Marvellous is sitting up erect on his stool and speaking into the camera.
MARVELLOUS: “In the first few years of my directorship, the company did pass through some dark days. The bottom fell out of the dollar. There was the energy crisis. I started to lose my hair. A lot of students started dropping out of school.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Bill Marvellous’s office. There is a bottle of scotch on his desk. Bill Marvellous is sitting at his desk, a glass of scotch in his hand. He is looking out his office window, staring into nothingness.
CUT to Marvellous in his cell, sitting on his stool, staring into the camera.
MARVELLOUS: “It was during this low ebb that I engaged the services of Harry Howl. And what a blessing he appeared to be. The application of white boards to classrooms was a windfall. And it was Harry who came up with the idea of the Teacher’s Professional Weekends, an escape for teachers away from their students, their wives and children, from the pressures of routine.”
[CAMERA… As Marvellous talks we CUT to scenes in strip bars where bald overweight middle-aged men frolic with young semi-naked women.
CUT to CLOSE-UP of Mavellous’s lips.
MARVELLOUS: “With the expansion of our school supplies, our reputation grew. High society greeted us with open hands and I might humbly add that I fit like a glove. I dined with the educated, with the successful, with the cream of society. I once had dinner at the Granite Club with Mr. Harris himself. The Premier’s Assistant Secretary sat at out table. This was of course before the Assistant Secretary was forced to resign over that bribery nonsense.”
[CAMERA… As Marvellous talks CUT to scene of well-heeled bald overweight middle-aged men dressed in tuxedos applauding a speaker standing behind a podium. Behind the podium there is a huge poster of Citizen Kane, from the Orson Welles film.
CUT to shot of Bill Marvellous standing behind the podium. He speaks.
MARVELLOUS: “Then our days of light descended into darkness. Sandman! Why did I ever become involved with that scoundrel? Harry Howl set up our initial meeting. We met in a little Italian restaurant, Mario’s.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of restaurant, resembling the restaurant in the movie, The Godfather, where Al Pacino’s character is discussing peace terms with his father’s would be assassins. Sandman and Howl are sitting at the table eating spaghetti. Marvellous turns in his chair, wipes his mouth with a serviette, and addresses the camera.
MARVELLOUS: “The food at Mario’s is quite exceptional. I confess I have never acquired the skill of eating spaghetti delicately. I ordered a snitzel. I remember being very impressed with the Sandman. He seemed every bit the gentleman, well mannered, charming, confident and erudite. His French was impeccable although it was somewhat wasted on our waiter. The plan, the Sandman Project, was to set up a network of supply teachers who would deliver supplies of marijuana to different high schools throughout the province. Principals in our employ would then pass these packages on to responsible students for distribution. Sandman assured us that the scheme was fool proof. I was skeptical. Harry Howl agreed enthusiastically with the Sandman. I felt foolish holding on so tightly to my customary cautious nature.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Marvellous sitting on his stool in his cell.
MARVELLOUS: “Where was the harm, they argued. Students have appetites like anyone else. Human nature. You might as well convict the Lord himself as to lay blame at our feet. But of course, things turned out differently. I am the poor sinner fallen into bad company.”
END OF SCENE ONE
SECOND SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
POWERPOINT PRESENTATION
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of prisoners in a small room. There are about half a dozen prisoners filling about half the chairs. There is a white screen, a computer off to one side on a table, and in the middle a projector. Standing by the door is a guard and another gentlemen in a blue suit. Faster looks at the gentleman in the suit. The gentleman nods. Faster smiles and turns to his audience.
FASTER: “Sit up straight now. No slouching! That’s what God must have said before the Big Bang. (Faster is waiting for laughter. There is silence) I call my presentation, Crime doesn’t pay. Not even the minimum age.(Silence) I mean wage. (Silence) That was a joke. (One of the prisoners chuckles.) Okay. Could someone hit the lights.”
SLIDE 1
A CHRISTMAS CARD FROM
MARVELLOUS EDUCATION SUPPLIES AND SERVICES
FASTER: “This was the Christmas card I got the first year I worked at Marvellous. They said it was in lieu of a Christmas bonus. Bill Marvellous is the one in the Santa outfit. His partner Ron Howl is the elf sitting on his knee. I thought that these guys were my friends. They said that everyone at Marvellous was family. Of course I didn’t believe them. I mean everywhere I’ve worked they spout nonsense about family. The warden has never mentioned anything about family although many of the prisoners are quite close.”
SLIDE 2
LENIN (THE REVOLUTIONARY) AND
KARL MALONE (THE BASKETBALL PLAYER)
ARM IN ARM
FASTER: “Who (There is laughter) put that in there? That isn’t supposed to be in my presentation.”
SLIDE 3
PROSTITUTES PRYING THEIR TRADE ALONG
THE STREET IN FRONT OF A MOTEL.
LEWIS IS AMONGST THEM.
HIS CAMERA CREW IS OFF TO ONE SIDE.
FASTER: “This is my motel in Guelph. People in Guelph are very friendly. But the students in my classes were a terror. God, I still have nightmares about them.
SLIDE 4
ONE OF LEWIS’S CAMERA CREW IS DRESSED UP AS A WOMAN
HOLDING A CUP OF SUGAR LEANING AGAINST THE
DOOR JAM IN THE OPEN DOOR OF FASTER’S MOTEL ROOM.
BEHIND HIM IS A MAN HOLDING A CAMERA ON HIS SHOULDER.
BEHIND THE CAMERMAN IS LEWIS
FASTER: “I made a some friends in the motel. You wouldn’t believe it, but a lot of them weren’t tourists, just people who like living in motels. Janice, the lady with the cup of sugar, became especially friendly. She was suicidal when I first met her. She hated men. But I tried to persuade Janice that all men weren’t creeps. I like to think that I made a difference in her life.”
SLIDE 5
FASTER SITTING ON THE CURB OF A STREET.
BEHIND HIM A COP RAISES HIS NIGHT STICK.
BEHIND THE POLICEMAN IN THE REFLECTION
OF AN APPLIANCE STORE CAN BE SEEN THE REFLECTION
OF THE CAMERA CREW STANDING ACROSS THE STREET
FASTER: These slides were used as evidence at my trial. I got the permission of the court to use them in this presentation. As you can see from the slide, I was deeply depressed. Not clinically depressed just down in the mouth. That cop there was just clowning around. Really.”
SLIDE 6
THERE IS A WOMAN IN THE BATHROOM OF
FASTER’S MOTEL ROOM. SHE IS BRUSHING HER TEETH.
BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN A SILHOUETTE
OF SOMEONE WITH A CAMERA CAN BE SEEN
FASTER: “That is Miss Ellery. She was always brushing her teeth. I taught her to floss. (Snickering.) She was basically a good person but no good came to me after I met her.”
SLIDE 7
FASTER ORDERING DINNER IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT.
AT AN ADJOINING TABLE LEWIS SITS
WITH MEMBERS OF HIS CAMERA CREW.
FASTER: “I had an interesting conversation with the assistant manager of the hotel in Windsor, a chap from Sri Langa. At first I thought he said St. Louis. A very decent man, he seemed to have his share of problems.”
SLIDE 8
SABU ON AN ELEPHANT
SLIDE 9
JOHN CLEMENTS FROM THE MOVIE
“FOUR FEATHERS”
SLIDE 10
CARY GRANT IN “GUNGA DIN”
SLIDE 11
FASTER IN HIS PYJAMAS
FASTER: “Did I say that Mr. Djagera was a decent sort of chap. We really hit it off. He gave me these pyjamas as a gift. He insisted that I try them on. The people from Sri Langa are so friendly. I had a terrible time trying to get him out of my room so I could get some sleep. I guess he didn’t get to talk much to people.”
SLIDE 12
AMBASSADOR BRIDGE
FASTER: “Windsor is such a beautiful city. They say that on the average a dozen or more people jump to their deaths off this bridge each year. Citizens of Windsor are quite proud of this statistic. They claim that most of the suicides are Americans. Canadians make just as many attempts but are much less successful.”
SLIDE 13
THE SHORE OF THE DETROIT RIVER. RATS ARE RUNNING ALONG
THE BREAK WATER. BARGES MOVE UP THE RIVER.
BEHIND THEM SMOKE STACKS SPEW OUT GREY YELLOWISH CLOUDS.
FASTER: “In the 19th century Windsor was freedom for many blacks at the end of the Underground Railroad. It is said that few bounty hunters dared cross over to Windsor to retrieve the runaway slaves. No reason is given for this shyness.”
SLIDE 14
CHRYSLER TRUCK ASSEMBLY PLANT
FASTER: “I couldn’t believe the size of their parking lots. Each person in Windsor must own at least 5 cars. Outside Windsor there are mountains of discarded tires. When it snows in the winter, the university’s downhill ski team use the hills to practice.”
SLIDE 15
POORLY DISGUISED MEMBERS OF LEWIS’S CAMERA CREW
DRESSED UP AS A MOTORCYCLE GANG
IN FRONT OF THEIR CLUB HOUSE
FASTER: “I was able to get down to the campus of the University of Windsor, cuddled up under the Ambassador Bridge. I caught these Engineering students preparing for one of their notorious Saturday night parties. The country’s future is certainly promising if these young men are any example of our college graduates.”
SLIDE 16
GAY BEACH WHERE MANY OF THE YOUNG MEN
ARE DRESSED UP AS WOMEN. AMONGST THE GROUP
ARE MEMBERS OF LEWIS’S CAMERA CREW
FASTER: “The faculty of the high school I was supplying for had a staff party at a local beach. Tension between the staff and the other sunbathers resulted in several skirmishes. The police were called in. Arrests were made although they only led to suspended sentences.”
SLIDE 17
A LOCAL WATERING HOLE. LEWIS IS STANDING BEHIND THE BAR.
HE IS SMILING FOR THE CAMERA.
FASTER: “I was sure I had met this bartender before. He said he had the common man’s face. Still I remained suspicious.”
SLIDE 18
FASTER SHAKING HANDS WITH THE MAYOR OF THE CITY.
FASTER: “It was quite a shock when I received an audience with his Worship. He told me to give my regards to the Sandman. He seemed very nervous for a man in his position. A reporter from the Windsor Star took this picture. It was front page news. Somehow I was confused with the Ambassador from Sri Langa.”
SLIDE 19
FASTER IS SITTING AT A DESK, WRITING A CHEQUE.
AYOUNG WOMAN IS STANDING
AT HIS HOTEL ROOM DOOR SMOKING A CIGARETTE.
FASTER: “The young woman in this pic got lost in the hallways. She said that she’d been there for days. I drew a map so that she could find her way back to the lobby.”
SLIDE 20
FASTER STANDING IN FRONT OF A CLASSROOM.
HE IS HOLDING THE GREAT GATSBY IN HIS HAND.
STANDING BESIDE HIM IS A STUDENT.
THE STUDENT HAS MOCKINGLY PLACED
TWO FINGERS BEHIND FASTER’S HEAD.
FASTER: “This was Reggie. He was a peer helper in the grade 11 I was covering. He thought of himself as a real cut up though I found his humour to be quite sophomoric. Sadly he later became a statistic of the Ambassador Bridge.”
END OF SCENE TWO
THIRD SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
DAISY
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of class. Faster is sitting on the front part of his desk, addressing a class.
FASTER: “How you think Daisy of The Great Gatsby represents the emergence of the modern American woman?”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UPS as each student speaks.
FRANK: “Skank.”
JOE: “Grubby.”
MARY: “Slush.”
FRANCIS: “Slunk.”
BENITO: “Slut.”
AMANDA: “Fluff.”
[CAMERA… CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT of Faster sitting on desk. He stands up and moves to one side.
FASTER: “Perhaps we could elaborate. Why did Gatsby pursue Daisy? Was it Daisy he was in love with or was it the fantasy of a world she represented to him?”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UPS as each student speaks.
JACK: “He should have dumped her.”
DYLAN: “After they did the nasty.”
KWAMI: “Definitely after.”
MARIE: “She was married. He should have respected that.”
NATASHA: “But they were in love.”
BENITO: “She didn’t love anything but the bone.”
FRANK: “What a loser he was. He should have smelled her the first time they met.”
DYLAN: “After they did the nasty.”
KWAMI: “Definitely after.”
MARIE: “Marriage is a holy sacrament. Why does anyone write a book like that? Why don’t writers write nice books? Something that makes you feel good?”
DYLAN: “No one would read it. People only want to read about people doing the nasty.”
KWAMI: “Definitely.”
FRANK: “What was so great about Gatsby? Chasing some skinny stupid bitch when he could have had any bitch he wanted. It don’t make sense.”
NATASHA: “He loved her.”
MARY: “He loved himself. Like all men.”
DYLAN: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
KWAMI: “You dising us?”
MARY: “Like all men, Gatsby was thinking with the wrong head.”
FRANK: “Why are we reading this any how? It’s just a bunch of American propaganda. Like they can do anything they want and the rest of the world are just an audience.”
DYLAN: “Like they’re the only ones who do the nasty. Like they invented it.”
BENITO: “Didn’t they invent sex?”
MARY: “Love knows no borders.”
MARIE: “Americans are always having abortions or getting divorced. You can see it on TV every night.”
FRANK: “Or shooting each other.”
DYLAN: “You got a problem with that?”
MARY: “Things are different here. We have more respect for human life.”
FRANK: “Let’s study a Canadian novel.”
KWAMI: “Definitely.”
[CAMERA… CUT to MEDIUM SHOT of Faster, his arms folded across his chest. He once again takes a seat on the front of his desk.
FASTER: “Alright. Can anyone suggest a Canadian novel we could study?”
[CAMERA… LONG SHOT from behind Faster at the class. Faster is waiting. The students are looking at Faster. One by one they begin to drop their heads. Several moments pass in silence.
CUT to black
END OF SCENE THREE
FOURTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
SHOPPING
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of shopping street in downtown Detroit. Garbage is strewn along the street. There are people sleeping under cardboard boxes. Many of the shops are boarded up. Others have large steel fences protecting the windows and entrance. In front of one of these abandoned shops a young man in long black hair, tie-dyed shirt, and bell bottoms is selling his wares behind a couple of card tables. The young man is of Vietnamese origins. Faster steps up to his table and examines some of the goods.
VENDER: “How’s it going, man?”
FASTER: “You have a lot of unusual wares on your table?”
VENDER: “Far out, man. You like that samurai sword? Man I give you a deal you wouldn’t believe in a thousand years.”
FASTER: “It’s very attractive.”
VENDER: “Sharp too. No one is going to mess with you.”
FASTER: “Mums does need a proper knife to cut the Sunday roast.”
VENDER: “Far out, man. It’s from Sweden. Can you dig it? Hand crafted by some Viking’s old lady. For you, 8000 thousand man.”
FASTER: “8000 thousand dollars! That seems very excessive.”
VENDER: “8000 rupiahs. Two dollars American. Do you think I look like Dylan?”
FASTER: “Well, I’m not sure. Do people mistake you for him?”
VENDER: “All the time, man. Can you dig it? Except of course he’s like ancient now. But I used to have my hair in an Afro. I really dug that album, The Times They Are a Changing. I loved the sixties. What a groovy time; love-ins, free love, cheap drugs, and patterns. Hendrix, the Doors, and Janis. Those were the days, man. I thought they would never end.”
FASTER: “What are those figures called?”
VENDER: “Wayang, man. They’re for shadow plays. It’s a primitive form of television. My old man told me all about San Francisco, Height-Ashbury, Woodstock. My old man wanted to be a surfer. He really dug the Beach Boys. Him and his buds used to sing Rhonda. Good Vibrations was a classic, man. And the Beatles, they were far out. Loved the White Album. I never saw my old man cry until he heard the news of Lennon’s assassination. He blamed it on Yoko. Said if she hadn’t broken up the Beatles, John would still be alive.”
FASTER: “Was you father a musician?”
VENDER: “Shit no, man. My old man was the Cong. Fought in the Mekong Delta. He had all the Beatles records. Him and his buds used to sing, Yesterday, when they were waiting for the Hueys to show up. Pissed him off when Nixon pulled out the troops. It was hard to get a hold of LPs after that. I love the dances they did in the 60s. My old man taught me the Mash Potato, the Frug, and of course, The Twist.”
[CAMERA… The vender steps out from behind his table. He only has one leg. Starts doing the twist. Loses his balance. Faster catches him. The Vender returns to his place behind his tables.
FASTER: “How did you lose…”
VENDER: “Land mine. After the peace. Friends told my father that he should have sued Nixon. My old man loved Nixon, old flat top. It really bummed him out when Nixon died.”
FASTER: “I’m sorry about your leg.”
VENDER: “It’s cool, man. That accident was my ticket to America. I’m going to be a recording artist like Dylan. Working on my rhyming. You going to take the sword?”
FASTER: “I might have trouble taking it across the border.”
VENDER: “Where you from, man?”
FASTER: “Canada.”
VENDER: “Canada? Where the hell is that?”
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
BUYING DRINKS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT… David Faster and Lewis are sitting at a table with two young women. A waitress stands beside the table waiting to take their order.
MEDIUM SHOT of two women smiling as Lewis gestures to the waitress.
LEWIS: “What will it be, ladies?”
COLLINE: “Oh goodness. Let me think. Maybe I could have a teensy weensy gin and tonic. Is that alright, Lucy?”
LUCY: “Drink what you want. I’m not your fucking mother.”
LEWIS: “One gin and tonic. And what about you, dear?”
LUCY: “Nothing. Anybody got a fag?”
LEWIS: “You simply must have something, dear.”
COLLINE: “Oh do have something to drink, Lucy. We are having such fun and one little drink won’t hurt. Lucy will have a screwdriver.”
LUCY: “I can speak for myself. I need a fag. Get me a large pack of DuMaurier’s and a screwdriver.”
LEWIS: “A scotch for me. What about you old man?”
FASTER: “Who the hell are you?”
LEWIS: “You don’t remember, old chap. Faster will have a beer. Anything lite.”
[CAMERA… The waitress departs. Lewis moves closer to Colline and puts his arm around her. Colline giggles.
LEWIS: “We shared a cab in Guelph, old chap. You were with that striking Swedish woman.”
[CAMERA… Faster nods. Colline giggles with enthusiasm. Lucy groans at her friend’s enthusiasm. Lewis whispers in Colline’s ear. She giggles.
COLLINE: “You devil. Oh my, you should have heard what Mr. Lewis said.”
LUCY: “I’ll read it in your memoirs.”
FASTER: “You were in women’s underwear.”
COLLINE giggles: “Did you hear that, Lucy?”
LEWIS: “Real estate. I’m in real estate.”
FASTER: “Well, I don’t remembering asking you to join me at my table.”
LEWIS: “You looked terribly lonely. You looked like you needed company. And hell, there were three of us.”
COLLINE: “I’ve always wondered what the real meant in real estate? Is there unreal estate?”
LEWIS: “A philosopher.”
FASTER: “I am not lonely. I would like to be left alone. It’s been a long day. So please take your party to another table.”
LUCY: “What do you do for a living, Mr. Faster?”
COLLINE: “Do you believe that we are being visited by extra-terrestrials? My ex-brother-in-law told me he met one. He’s a television repairman. My ex-brother-in-law that is. His name is Jack.”
FASTER: “I’m a supply teacher.”
LUCY: “You teach teenagers. Now, that’s a frightening thought.”
COLLINE: “The alien was trying to steal cable for free off his neighbour’s line. Jack set him straight.”
LEWIS: “What do you ladies do when you’re not entertaining the troops?”
FASTER: “I don’t want to sound rude but I’d appreciate it if you’d take your party elsewhere.”
COLLINE giggling: “We’re models. We’re doing a car show. We stand in front of new model automobiles and look pretty. It can be very taxing. Lucy was originally a singer.”
LUCY: “Retired.”
COLLINE: “You mustn’t mind Lucy. She’s been to college.”
FASTER: “I went to college too. I studied archeology for three years before I found out that I’m allergic to dust.”
LEWIS laughs: “Allergic to dust! Allergic to death I’d say. Very good, Faster.”
COLLINE: “Isn’t that sad? Don’t you think so, Lucy?”
LUCY: “Tragic.”
LEWIS: “Don’t you think that Colline has a lovely mouth, Faster? Lips like Pamela Lee Anderson. Pouty. They say that Pamala Lee could suck an egg through a straw. Imagine the possibilities.”
FASTER: “I knew a girl at college who could take the caps off beer bottles with her teeth. You’re changing the topic. Perhaps I should leave.”
LUCY: “She must have been handy at parties.”
COLLINE: “Lucy has a wonderful voice. You should hear her in the shower?”
LEWIS grins and winks: “Is that an invitation?”
LUCY: “I used to be able to sing. My voice got fucked up by bar smoke.”
COLLINE: “Lucy sang backup for Joe Cocker.”
LEWIS: “I believe this is your round, old chap.”
FASTER: “My round? I don’t even want you here.”
LEWIS: “Come now, old chap. Don’t be a wet blanket.”
[CAMERA… The waitress brings their drinks and Lucy’s cigarettes. Lucy grabs the cigarettes and lights one up before Lewis can lean across the table with his lighter. Faster pays the waitress.
LEWIS: “It’s ironic that you should be in show business. I have a few connections in that area. Perhaps I could make some phone calls.
COLLINE: “Oh that would be wonderful.”
FASTER: “What did you study in college?”
LEWIS in an aside to Faster: “Good form, old chap. Engage the birds in small talk.”
LUCY: “Men.”
COLLINE: “We’ve been on our feet all day. Hope you don’t mind if I slip off my shoes. All we want to do is get horizontal.”
LEWIS: “What a coincidence!”
COLLINE giggles: “You devil! Isn’t he funny, Lucy?”
LUCY: “A million laughs. I could use another drink.”
[CAMERA… Lewis gets the waitress’s attention and gestures to her for another round.
FASTER: “It’s none of my business, but you seem very bitter, Lucy.”
LUCY: “You’re right. It’s none of your business.”
FASTER: “You’ve been hurt by men.”
LUCY: “There’s a news flash!”
COLLINE: “Let’s not get into that, shall we Lucy? We’re having such a grand time. It’s too bad they don’t have a piano here. Lucy could give us a song.”
[CAMERA… The waitress shows up with their drinks. As soon as Lucy receives her drink, she finishes it off and nudges the waitress for another. Lewis elbows Faster and winks. Faster pays. Lucy lights up a new cigarette off her old cigarette, then grinds out the old cigarette into the ashtray.
COLLINE: “I have a theory. Life is like a department store. You’re on a floor, maybe hardware or electronics. When you die, you go up an escalator to the next floor, maybe home furnishings.”
LEWIS: “What’s on the top floor?”
COLLINE: “That’s the toy department. When you get there it’s Christmas time and you get to meet Santa Claus.”
LUCY: “Just what I need, another man.”
FASTER: “Holidays, especially Christmas, make me feel lonely.”
COLLINE: “I love vulnerable men.”
LUCY: “As long as they pay the rent.”
FASTER: “Sometimes it seems too much. God, it’s getting late. I should hit the sack.”
LEWIS: “I’m sensitive too. When I was a boy, I had a cat.”
COLLINE: “I love pussys.”
LEWIS: “A truck ran over it.”
COLLINE: “Oh dear.”
LEWIS: “Flat as a pancake. We had to bury it in an envelope.”
[CAMERA… Colline gasps. Lucy breaks out laughing. The waitress brings her another drink. Lewis nudges Faster. Faster pays.
COLLINE giggles: “You are an awful man! A dangerous man! I like danger. It makes life so… dangerous.”
[CAMERA… Lucy leans over toward Faster and whispers in his ear.
LUCY: “Let me see it.”
FASTER: “Excuse me?”
LUCY whispers: “I’m going to see it eventually tonight. So take it out now. Give me a preview.”
FASTER: “No.”
COLLINE: “What are you saying, dear?”
LUCY: “He won’t show it to me.”
FASTER: “I have to get up early tomorrow morning.”
COLLINE: “When Lucy gets a little drunk she loses control of her tongue.”
LEWIS: “That sounds promising. Maybe we should have another round.”
FASTER: “I really must go. You folks stay and have fun. I don’t want to spoil the party.”
LUCY: “I was just joking for Christ’s sake.”
COLLINE: “Don’t get drunk, Lucy. You know how you’ll feel tomorrow.”
LUCY: “Do you get lonely? Sometimes I feel like I could die with the ache inside me.”
FASTER: “I don’t know about that. I’d better go.”
LUCY: “I think I’m going to be sick.”
COLLINE: “Quick, hand me the ashtray!”
[CAMERA… Lucy throws up in the ashtray. Faster jumps to his feet. Lewis screws up his face in disgust.
LEWIS: “Somebody had mussels for dinner.”
END OF SCENE FIVE
SIXTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
PROPORTIONS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of small office in The Constellation Hotel in Windsor where David Faster is speaking with a small brown man, Mr. Djagera. Mr. Djagera maintains a smile on his face at all times. At times his hands come together as if he were praying. He is wearing a Nehru suit.
MEDIUM SHOT of the two men.
DJAGERA: “Happy, Mr Faster. Those were my exact instructions from Mr. Sandman. Make Mr. Faster happy! What a wonderful goal in life. It is what I love about my job, Mr. Faster. I am able to make people happy. I trust that I have not failed. It is not realistic to speak of happiness in absolute terms so let us substitute the word comfortable for happy. Make Mr. Faster comfortable! Are you comfortable, Mr. Faster?”
FASTER: “Quite.”
DJAGERA: “Quite? You are not inclined toward very? Quite is a fine word but very is so dynamic.”
FASTER: “Fine. I have been treated very fine.”
DJAGERA: “Wonderful. Fine is such a mannered response. It makes one feel satisfied with one’s efforts. Fine is a word for those moments of intimacy. It is not a word for public duty. How about wonderful? Wonderful fills a room.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a MEDIUM SHOT of Faster and Mr. Djargera walking down a hallway of the hotel.
DJAGERA: “Not too much noise?”
FASTER: “No. Of course not. Well, a bit noisy. I have noticed that there does seem to be some traffic in the hallways late in the evening.”
DJAGERA: “Yes, I understand. You don’t mind me saying… David. May I call you David, Mr. Faster?”
FASTER: “Please do.”
[CAMERA… CUT to an elevator into which Faster and Mr. Djagera are entering.
DJAGERA: “You don’t mind me pointing out, David, that a quiet hotel is a hotel with financial difficulties. It is my sworn duty to maintain the hotel’s bottom line.”
[CAMERA… CUT to the kitchen through which Mr. Djagera and Faster are walking.
DJAGERA: “I tell Mrs. Djagera that the bottom line sometimes must be sacrificed to the comfort of our guests. But, Mrs. Djagera reminds me, Mr. Djagera, you have your duty to the hotel.”
FASTER: “I understand.”
[CAMERA… CUT to linen closet into which Faster and Mr. Djagera have entered.
DJAGERA: “Call me, Eddie, please.”
FASTER: “Eddie.”
DJAGERA: “It is good that you understand, David. I like that in a young man. It is so refreshing. So many of our young people refuse to take the time to understand. They are so stubborn.”
[CAMERA…. Mr. Djagera and Faster notice that there is nowhere to walk in the linen closet so they exit from the same door into which they had entered the room.
CUT to a small shop in the hotel that sells various items. Faster buys a map. Mr. Djagera purchases some cigarettes.
DJAGERA: “They talk about social injustice in the same breath as they complain about room service. Our youth is so discontented. And inconsistent. What is to become of our young people, David?”
[CAMERA… CUT to the dining room where Faster and Mr. Djagera are sitting at a table drinking tea.
DJAGERA: “My son and two daughters are young people. They are so inconsistent! It worries me, David. It robs me of so many hours of sleep. I am up all night. Mrs. Djagera worries that it is my prostrate.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a washroom where Faster is standing at a urinal. Mr. Djagera is standing before a mirror examining his teeth.
DJAGERA: “Two of my uncles died of the prostrate. But I tell Mrs. Djagera, Mrs. Djagera, it is our children that keep me up at night, not the prostrate. But, I must not burden you, David, with my troubles.”
FASTER: “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, Eddie?”
[CAMERA… CUT to a small garden outside the hotel where Faster stands watching Mr. Djagera weeding.
DJAGERA: “That would please me very much, David. That is what I am here for. Ask your questions, please.”
FASTER: “Where do most of your guests come from?”
DJAGERA: “Mostly they come through the front doors.”
[CAMERA… CUT to hallway in the hotel where Faster and Mr. Djagera are walking.
FASTER: “Excuse me.”
[CAMERA… CUT to an elevator into which Faster and Mr. Djagera have entered.
DJAGERA: “That was a joke, David.”
FASTER: “A joke. Yes, I understand.”
DJAGERA: “You understand but you did not laugh. I do not tell jokes well.”
[CAMERA… CUT to kitchen through which Faster and Mr. Djagera are walking.
FASTER: “No, no, Eddie. It was very funny. I have trouble understanding jokes. It is my fault.”
DJAGERA: “You are most kind, David, but I know my limitations. Mrs. Djagera tells me that I should not attempt to be funny. Mr. Djagera, she says, I love you very much but you do not tell jokes well. I am a man of many limitations. But to get back to your question, and it was a very good question…”
[CAMERA… CUT to a linen closet into which Faster and Mr. Djagera have entered. They look at each other and depart.
CUT to the hotel bar through which they walk.
DJAGERA: “There are a large number of locals who frequent our rooms. We also have many Japanese tourists. The Japanese male is very attracted to the Canadian female. Why this is so, I cannot say. We also have many Americans. And there are some visitors from the British Isles. They seem very enthusiastic in the bar. They love their cricket which I confess to having…”
[CAMERA… CUT to a washroom where Mr. Djagera is standing at a urinal while Faster stands before a mirror flossing his teeth.
DJAGERA: “… a weakness for. Last year we had a bus load of Germans from Stuttgart. Have you ever been to Stuttgart, David?”
FASTER: “No, I have never been to Germany.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a small garden outside the hotel where Mr. Djagera stands watching Faster weeding.
DJAGERA: “I would like to visit Stuttgart some day. It sounds like such a cruel name for a city. Perhaps it is the opposite. The Germans were very noisy and very hard on our furniture. All that fist banging. Did I mention that we get a lot of Americans? They are a very serious group. I thought Americans liked to laugh, but I was wrong. I am wrong about many things, David. It is one of my limitations.”
[CAMERA… CUT to hallway in the hotel where Faster and Mr. Djagera are marching like soldiers.
DJAGERA: “We had a Russian as a guest. A very amusing fellow. He stayed for ten years. He was a writer. Wrote those cowboy novels. Sometimes he would walk around the lobby in a cowboy hat, six shooters, cowboy boots and spurs. He was very hard on the carpeting. I have one of his books. He autographed it for me. One day he disappeared.”
FASTER: “What do you know about the Sandman?”
[CAMERA… CUT to the kitchen through which Faster and Mr. Djagera are walking.
DJAGERA: “Concerning that matter, I know nothing. It is not wise to know anything about Mr. Sandman. He is a man who places a great premium on his privacy. The Russian asked questions about Mr. Sandman and he was forced to leave the hotel.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Mr. Djagera’s small office where Faster is standing while Mr. Djagera is sitting behind his desk.
FASTER: “Forced to leave?”
DJAGERA: “Yes. Out a twelfth floor window.”
END OF SCENE SIX
SEVENTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
MAKING BUSINESS PROPOSALS
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of the offices of Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. Bill Marvellous sits behind his desk smoking a large cigar. Paul Man is sitting opposite him, slouched in his chair, one leg slung over the arm of the chair, his foot reaching the floor. He is smoking a cigarette. The cigarette looks miniscule in his huge hands.
MAN: “So, whatdya think, old man? Sounds great doesn’t it? Genova Learning Tools and Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services in bed together. We get the left side. I can’t sleep on the right. You ever consider changing your name? How about Marvellous Rules and Pencils? Nice ring to it, don’t you think, old man?”
MARVELLOUS: “They call me Mr. Marvellous.”
MAN: “I’ll bet they do, old man. What’s it going to be?”
MARVELLOUS: “In a manner as serious as this, I must consult with my colleagues.”
MAN: “What’s there to consider?”
MARVELLOUS: “You are a young man, sir. You have all the enthusiasm of youth but unfortunately you also have youth’s impatience. Everything in it’s own time.”
MAN: “You’re muscling into our territory, old man. I’m the one whose being patient. We could have discussed this in the street but we thought we’d give you the courtesy of peaceful negotiations. Don’t jack me around, old man. I don’t like to be jacked around.”
MARVELLOUS: “What do you mean by territories?”
MAN: “We control everything west of London. All the way down to Windsor. It’s an unwritten law that has kept the peace for generations. No one wants to hit the water beds. That’s a joke.”
MARVELLOUS: “Yes, very humorous. I must discuss this with my associates.”
MAN: “Tomorrow at noon.”
MARVELLOUS: “I’ll need more time than that, sir.”
MAN: “Look, old man. I don’t sleep well. Sometimes I don’t sleep at all. Anything passed 3 o’clock and I become very irritable. The last time someone raised my ire, I twisted his head off like the cap off a jar of orange marmalade.”
MARVELLOUS: “Yes, marmalade.”
MAN: “I am the personal representative of Genova. Hell, I’ve got my own business cards. I’ve come to you with a fair and generous proposition. You think about that. You think about it real good. You sleep on it. I won’t be sleeping. I’ll be waiting. At Genova’s we don’t make threats; we make promises.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a close up of Bill Marvellous’s eyes. They are twitching.
CUT to shot of a hotel window where a cowboy is suddenly thrown out.
FREEZE shot of cowboy in mid-air.
CUT to CLOSE UP of Paul Man grinning with a cigarette in his mouth. Suddenly he starts to cough.
CUT to black.
END OF SCENE SEVEN
END OF FOURTH EPISODE
Friday, October 3, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
North Atlantic Treaty Organization
THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Three
NORTH ATLANTIC
TREATY ORGANIZATION
INTRODUCTION
[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.
[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Mr. Faster your assignment today is in Political Geography. You will be replacing Miss Anacin. If you should smell something foul in your classrooms please do not draw attention to it. Several of our students are extremely sensitive as well as being from wealthy and influential Windsor families.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995
FIRST SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
REVELATIONS AND REGRETS
FADE to white. CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster’s face. A cigarette hangs out of a five o’clock shadow. A new picture hangs on the wall behind him. It is a poster of Lee Harvey Oswald.
MEDIUM SHOT… Faster takes the cigarette out of his mouth, punk like, and spits on the floor. He takes another puff of his cigarette, drops it onto the floor and grinds it out with his boot.
FASTER: “I was a patsy! They used me. Everyone used me. I was passed around like the queen of spades in a game of broken hearts. You learn a lot of things in the slammer. First, you learn how to apply lipstick when you’re told to. Second, you learn that everyone, one hundred and fifty percent of the inmates, are innocent. Third, you learn to play cards. Everyone plays Fish. It’s so bloody boring in here. They call it hard time. Everyone is waiting, waiting for their time to be done. Prison is the only place on the planet where time runs backwards. I shouldn’t have trusted Marvellous and Howl. Hell, I was only a kid. What did I know?”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster’s face.
FASTER: “I accompanied Ellen Ellery to the elegant but highly overrated Anchor Inn. There was a listening device, planted in our salad bowl. Hell, who expects to find a bug in the lettuce? What did they think they could learn? That I had a hot chicken sandwich? That Ellen had the special, speckled trout? And almost chocked on a bone? That sometimes you just can’t help it? It just leaks out.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of Faster pounding on Ellen Ellery’s back as two waiters try to pull him off her.
CUT to Faster in his cell smiling. He produces a toothpick from behind his ear and begins to pick at his teeth.
FASTER: “The management wanted to press charges. But Ellen revived coughed up the tooth and cleared up the misunderstanding. I didn’t know that trout had teeth. After a couple glasses of wine, Ellen dropped the motherlode. A rival educational supply firm in Windsor was offering discount supply teachers to the Ministry of Education. Genova Educational Services. Paul Man, Genova’s managing director, was a known felon with underworld contacts in Detroit. I didn’t know what to think. I offered to drop Ellen off at her place but she declined. So I left her in the restaurant and returned alone to my room. There was a note awaiting me at the motel office. I was to take a train the next morning for Windsor. Of all the one horse God forsaken dumps in Ontario, why did they have to choose Windsor? I tried to get some sleep but all I could think about was Paul Man, and his gangsters, and their big guns. The next morning I grabbed a taxi for the train station. I was early so I wrote my first report to Mr. Howl. At 8:20 I boarded the train and sat at a window. The trip was uneventful except for a small fire in the men’s room.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster in the train washroom sneaking a smoke.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster leaving the washroom.
MEDIUM SHOT of smoke slipping out from beneath the washroom door.
CUT to stewards with fire extinguishers rushing into the washroom, while passengers in the train are in a panic, screaming and running down the aile of the train.
CUT to shot of Faster being grabbed as he attempts to open an emergency hatch and jump from the train.
CUT to Faster in his cell.
FASTER: “I denied everything. When they asked why I was trying to leave the train, I said I was just trying to get some fresh air. Upon my arrival in Windsor, I compared the prices of three rent-a-car agencies finally deciding on a cab. I bought three chocolate bars, which I ate sequentially. On the way to the Constellation Hotel, I noticed that there seemed to be an awful lot of laundromats in Windsor. Too many! The influence of the criminal underworld was everywhere. I was grateful that I’d had the foresight to purchase a firearm.”
END OF SCENE ONE
SECOND SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
ORDERING FOOD
FADE to white. CUT to Faster and Ellen walking along Gordon Street. Ellen greets several sailors and they to begin to follow the couple.
CUT to Ellen and Faster running down the street followed a few moments later by the three sailors.
CUT to Ellen and Faster cutting into an alley. The sailors run passed the alley. Faster and Ellen share a cigarette.
CUT to 3 sailors coming back to the alley and spotting Ellen and Faster in an amorous embrace.
CUT to Ellen and Faster running down the alley. The 3 sailors are running behind them.
CUT to Ellen and Faster slipping into the back entrance of a shop. Moments later the 3 sailors run passed the now closed door.
CUT to Ellen and Faster in a sex shop. Ellen is checking out various dildos and vibrators. Faster is looking around expecting to see the sailors.
CUT to Ellen and Faster reading the menu in front of the Anchor Inn.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster and Ellen sitting at a table.
ELLEN: “Do you always walk that fast?”
FASTER: “I thought it was a good idea to keep a few steps ahead of your friends.”
ELLEN: “They weren’t friends of mine.”
FASTER: “I wish you’d told them that.”
CAMERA… A waiter approaches the table.
ELLEN: “You weren’t wearing high heels.”
FASTER: “Why did you have to ask those sailors for the time?”
WAITER: “My name is Jeffery. I shall be your waiter this evening. Would you like a beverage before you order?”
ELLEN: “I forgot my watch.”
FASTER: “And was it necessary to ask that sales lady about her recommendations in vibrators?”
ELLEN: “Don’t take that tone of voice with me. If you need to know, I was trying to catch my breath. I never met anyone who was so unfriendly.”
FASTER: “They had more on their mind than a friendly chat.”
ELLEN: “Men!”
FASTER: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
WAITER: “I’ll return when you’re ready.”
ELLEN: “It means what it means. And try and keep your voice down.”
FASTER: “God, I’m starving. Where’s our waiter?”
ELLEN: “The service is usually good in this place. Why don’t you go up to the bar and get us a drink?”
FASTER: “That’s not my job. The waiter should do that.”
ELLEN: “Get me a drink!”
FASTER: “I won’t. Besides, it was your idea to come in here.”
[CAMERA… some time passes. Eventually the waiter returns.
WAITER: “Have you decided?”
ELLEN: “I need a drink.”
[CAMERA… Faster is looking at his menu.
FASTER: “Why aren’t there any prices on the menu?”
ELLEN: “Let’s just order.”
FASTER: “I’d like to know. I am a customer and I have the right to know why there aren’t any prices on the menu.”
WAITER: “It isn’t the policy of the Anchor Inn.”
FASTER: “You’re a restaurant, aren’t you?”
ELLEN: “I’ll have a martini. Two olives. I’m starving.”
WAITER: “And the gentleman?”
FASTER: “I haven’t made my mind up yet.”
[CAMERA… the waiter departs. Ellen turns and slaps Faster on the forehead.
FASTER: “That hurt!”
ELLEN: “Just order, stupid!”
FASTER: “He pissed me off. No prices. Let him sweat a while.”
ELLEN: “Why do you have to be so difficult? I told you it was my treat.”
FASTER: “You’ve missed the point completely.”
ELLEN: “I think I’ll have the trout.”
FASTER: “Are you sure?”
ELLEN: “I love fish. Try the fish.”
FASTER: “What about mercury poisoning?”
ELLEN: “Don’t worry, David. I can guarantee that you won’t suffer any brain damage.”
END OF SCENE TWO
THIRD SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS
FADE to white. CUT to Faster sitting at his table in the Anchor Inn. He turns to the camera and begins to floss his teeth. Behind him Ellen has begun to choke. Faster clears his throat and addresses the camera.
FASTER: “As soon as I got into my room at the Constellation Hotel in Windsor I asked reception to make a long distance call to Toronto. I missed Mums. In the meantime I took a shower and flossed my teeth. I love to floss. Wonderful invention. Must have been the ruin of the toothpick industry. I got out some sandpaper. Extra rough. My feet were killing me. Calluses build up on my feet so much that I’m sure a blacksmith could put a shoe on each of them. The phone rang.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of Faster sitting on his bed picking up the phone from the bedside table. He turns to the camera.
FASTER: “I could hardly hear Mums at the other end of the line.”
[CAMERA… SPLIT SCREEN… Faster is on one screen. On the second screen is a balding middle-aged gentleman. He is in bed with his wife who is sleeping beside him. He has his hand over the phone and is whispering. His name is Honey Buns.
HONEY BUNS: “Hello.”
FASTER: “Hi Mums!”
HONEY BUNS: “Is that you Janet? Do you have any idea what time it is?”
FASTER: “Oh Mums, I do hope you are keeping yourself well. Have you got the air-conditioning on? Don’t worry about the cost. If we can’t afford to stay cool what’s the point of living is what I always say.”
HONEY BUNS: “I can hardly hear you. How can I stay cool when you’re phoning me at home? Myrtle is right beside me. Her sleeping pills don’t always work. If she finds out about us, I’ll be out on the street.”
FASTER: “What was that Mums? We haven’t got a very good line here.”
HONEY BUNS: “I can’t speak any louder.”
FASTER: “You sound upset, Mums. Use a Phillips screwdriver to adjust the air. It’s very muggy in Windsor but I’m managing. The rash is under control.”
HONEY BUNS: “How do you expect me to react? I got you an apartment. I helped you with your singing career. I even let your brother move in with you. I thought we had an agreement. No phone calls.”
FASTER: “Don’t overfeed the goldfish. And the cat. Feed the cat or there’ll be no goldfish in the morning. I’m still not sure why Marvellous sent me here. It looks like I could be gone indefinitely.”
HONEY BUNS: “Of course I still love you. And I’m happy when you’re happy. That doesn’t make everything marvelous.”
FASTER: “Good to hear, Mums.”
HONEY BUNS: “I’m not sure about that brother of yours. Let him get a job. And it’s got nothing to do with him being black.”
FASTER: “There are extra light bulbs under the kitchen sink.”
HONEY BUNS: “Yes, Little Jack misses you too, Poopsy. Little Jack is very lonely. He wants to play in the…”
[CAMERA… CUT to one screen. Honey Buns has just noticed his wife waking from her sleep. She glares at him. He smiles sheepishly and hangs up the phone.
HONEY BUNS: “Wrong number, dear.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster on the phone.
FASTER: “I’d better go now, Mums. Call you on Tuesday. Love you.”
[CAMERA… Faster hangs up the phone. A tear run downs his cheek. He looks around for a Kleenex. Not finding one, he grabs the sheet of the bed and blows his nose.
END OF SCENE THREE
FOURTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
CLASS DISCUSSION
FADE to white. CUT to classroom where Faster has written North Atlantic Treaty Organization on the blackboard.. He points to an Asian student who is wearing a kerchief over his long dreadnoughts. Close-ups of Faster and each student’s face as they speak.
FASTER: “Can you tell me what NATO means?”
KERCHIEF: “Who cares, bro?”
FASTER: “It’s an organization that was set up after the Second World War.”
KERCHIEF: “Just a bunch of white men telling the black man how to live their lives.”
FASTER: “Not exactly.”
[CAMERA… A black girl in braids puts up her hand.
BRAIDS: “Are you saying they weren’t white men?”
FASTER: “Well, yes they were white men.”
KERCHIEF: “Just what I said. The white man is always trying to run the lives of the black man. We don’t need school to teach us that.”
BRAIDS: “Why are you running your mouth? You ain’t black.”
[CAMERA… boy with shaved head stands up.
SHAVED HEAD: “Why are Negroes always complaining? All that prejudice stuff happened a long time ago.”
KERCHIEF: “Watch your back, whitie!”
GIRL IN RED PIG TAILS: “My daddy says that all black people end up in prison.”
KERCHIEF: “The white man’s prison. Keep us locked up so that you can violate our black women.”
BRAIDS: “We ain’t your women!”
BLOND GIRL: “Denzel Washington is cute.”
GIRL IN RED PIG TAILS: “I didn’t know that he was black.”
BOY DRESSED IN SUIT WITH WHITE SHIRT AND TIE: “In Russia everyone is white.”
KERCHIEF: “This is America, Igor, not Russia.”
BRAIDS: “No, it ain’t.”
BLOND GIRL: “My grandmother is from Bermuda. Does that make me black?”
[CAMERA… CLOSE UP Faster’s face. It is beet red.
FASTER: “Shut the fuck up!”
[CAMERA… LONG SHOT… The room is silent.
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
DIALECTICS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of Ellen Ellery staggering out of the Anchor Inn by herself. As she almost loses her balance she is grabbed by two men in overcoats , each one taking one of her arms. She is quickly escorted into a dark limousine waiting at the curb.
CUT to a dental office where Ellen is strapped into a chair. Lewis stands to one side of her. Dr. Glimbach dressed in a white suit steps into the room.
ELLEN: “You’ll never get away with this.”
LEWIS: “Of course we will.”
ELLEN: “Why am I here?”
LEWIS: “All in good time, my sweetie. All in good time.”
DR. GLIMBACH sings: “Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste.”
ELLEN: “Who the hell is the dork in the white suit?”
LEWIS: “So nice that you could come at such notice, doctor. I speak for everyone in the Union when I say that we have admired your work.”
ELLEN: “Why am I in this dental chair? My head feels funny. I think I’m going to barf.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “Relax, my dear. Everything unpleasant passes in time.”
LEWIS: “Everyone at the home office has heard of your wonderful work in Herzogovina and Argentina. That interview you had on CNN with Larry King was so enlightening. It gave a friendly face to modern torture.”
ELLEN: “Torture!”
DR. GLIMBACH: “There’s a great future in torture. I always recommend it to my students.”
LEWIS: “You are too modest, doctor. I read your published lectures from U.C.L.A. Fascinating material.”
[CAMERA… The doctor snaps on a pair of plastic gloves. He bends over Ellen and pries open her mouth.
DR. GLIMBACH: “You have a build up of plaque, my dear. And I think I spot the beginnings of what could be serious dental decay. And you might cut down on your cigarette smoke. The smoke yellows the teeth.”
ELLEN: “Do that again and I’ll bite your fucking fingers off!”
LEWIS: “I understand that you consider the Americans amateurs in the field.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “No patience. Always going for the quick answer. Torture is like a good stew. It needs time to bring out its flavour. And such shabby dressers. I’m sure they buy everything off the rack.”
[CAMERA… The doctor picks up a drill and turns it on.
ELLEN SCREAMS
DR. GLIMBACH: “Applying pain is a gentlemen’s business. After all, we are not animals.”
ELLEN: “What do you want to know? I’ll tell you everything.”
[CAMERA… The doctor places a stick between her teeth. Ellen squirms in her seat, trying to speak. Her words are inaudible because of the stick.
LEWIS: “Who would you say inspired you as a young boy? Who were your heroes?”
DR. GLIMBACH: “My older brother, Ernst. He loved to play with cats. What a way he had with animals. And there was Mr. N at the barbershop. It was an inspiration to see a razor in that man’s hands. And we used to play with the neighbourhood girls. What fun we had! And I read a lot. My mother said that I would go blind reading. I was especially fond of the material the Vatican has on the Inquisition. And medical texts. I loved those drawings of the internal organs of the body. It’s not true that the body is made up mostly of water. It’s mostly made up of blood.”
[CAMERA… Ellen is violently squirming in her seat. The doctor changes the bit on the drill in his hand. Lewis turns and slaps Ellen across the face. For a moment she is frozen in shock.
LEWIS: “Behave now! The doctor is talking.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “I think that the greatest influence upon my work has been the Good Lord himself. Imagine allowing your only Son to be crowned with thorns and then to have strangers drive nails into his feet and hands. Absolutely delicious! And then the spear in the side. What a marvelous touch!”
[CAMERA… Ellen manages to spit out the stick in her mouth
ELLEN: “For Christ’s sake, ask me something! Yes, I read the National Enquirer. No, I don’t shave under my arms. Yes, I have used various cylindrical devices as sexual appendages. But never on Sundays!”
DR. GLIMBACH: “She is an excitable young lady. I like that.”
LEWIS: “What do you know about the Sandman Project?”
ELLEN: “Sandman? I never heard of any project.”
[CAMERA… The doctor pries open Ellen’s mouth again with another stick. He bends over her with the drill. Ellen vomits.
END OF SCENE FIVE
SIXTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
POLITELY EXCHANING GIFTS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of room. David Faster is handing a package over to another man, a principal, who sits behind a desk. Faster takes a seat opposite him.
CLOSE UP of principal. He is a well conditioned gentleman in a sharp gray suit. His receding hair line is well tanned and handsome.
FASTER: “I hadn’t expected such a handsome man.”
PRINCIPAL: “Excuse me.”
FASTER: “A lovely desk. Is it mahogany?”
PRINCIPAL: “Veneer. Now, shall we get down to business? Good. This is the package you were asked to bring me.”
FASTER: “Yes.”
PRINCIPAL: “Very good. I’ll talk to the president of our student council. Peter is quite an enterprising young man. He’ll know what to do with it.”
[CAMERA… The principal unlocks a door in his desk and drops the package inside. He removes a second envelope and hands it to Faster. Then he locks the drawer and places the key in his pocket. Faster looks at the envelope in his hand.
PRINCIPAL: “You understand that this interview has never taken place. You never gave me the package.”
FASTER: “What am I supposed to do with this envelope?”
PRINCIPAL: “You don’t know?”
FASTER: “No. I don’t know anything.”
PRINCIPAL LAUGHS: “Of course you don’t. Very good. But you do know who to give the envelop to.”
FASTER: “I know nothing!”
PRINCIPAL: “Of course you don’t. Very good. You give it to the party that gave you the package?”
FASTER: “What package?”
PRINCIPAL: “The package you just gave me.”
FASTER: “I never gave you a package. You told me that I didn’t.”
PRINCIPAL: “You gave me a package. I put it in the locked drawer of my desk and then I gave you that envelope. If anyone asks you, you deny everything. Do you understand?”
FASTER: “Of course.’
PRINCIPAL: “Now about the package…”
FASTER: “Is this a test?”
PRINCIPAL: “Just give the envelope to the person who gave you the package that we are going to deny ever existed.”
FASTER: “Right! Got you! What’s in the envelope?”
PRINCIPAL: “You don’t know?”
FASTER: “I know nothing.”
[CAMERA… Principal glares at Faster. Faster smiles meekly.
END OF SCENE SIX
SEVENTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
A MATTER OF EXPENSE
FADE to white. LONG SHOT… back in Toronto at the offices of Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. Bill Marvellous’s office. The shades are drawn. Ron Howl paces back and forth across the room. Bill Marvellous sits behind his large oak desk. In a darkened corner is the faint image of a child sitting in a chair. His legs do not touch the floor. The child is the dwarf, the Sandman. There is no sound in the room. The whole scene should be shot as one continuous long shot.
MARVELLOUS: “I must tell you sir that my confederate here at Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services, Mr. Howl, is an advocate for the termination of our agreement.”
HOWL: “Terminate is perhaps too harsh a word, Bill, too final. I prefer that well worn but nevertheless cogent phrase - reallocation of assets. It seems to me that we have a great deal to lose in this venture with an uncertain payload at the project’s end. I’m not just thinking of a capital loss but of the number of loyal employees who would lose their positions should this venture fail. And of course there is the further consideration – we may all go to prison.”
MARVELLOUS: “Don’t get Harry wrong, Mr. Sandman…”
HOWL: “It’s Ron, Bill.”
MARVELLOUS: “Ron is as solid as they come. Nerves of steel. Harry and I have spent time in the foxhole and I know I can rely on him. I’d trust him with my wife. Perhaps not my wife, (chuckles) but I would trust him with my wallet. Harry believes in harmony, a balance between advantages and disadvantages, profit and loss, risk and reward. I hope I’m not being presumptuous; sir, but you and I are from the swashbuckler school of commerce. Harry is a vegetarian in the business jungle. You and I, sir, are meat eaters. Still I have found it prudent over the years to give ear to Harry’s caution. It has saved me considerable grief, not to speak of money.”
SANDMAN: “Gentlemen. First of all let me say that it is a great pleasure to meet you both. Your reputation precedes you. We know so little of each other. It is only proper to offer you an insight into the nature of the man you are presently engaged. Mr. Sandman is a man of culture, a man of sensitivity and refinement. God, can’t you stop pacing back and forth!”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stops in his tracks. He takes a seat in one of the chairs off to the camera’s right.
SANDMAN: “Thank you. Mr. Sandman was born into an old world family that placed a premium on taste, manners, and eloquence. Neither indolence nor frivolity were abided. Lessers were always treated with humanity and patience. Superiors were treated with respect and silence. The rule of the family – no matter the consequences, keep your word. Mr. Sandman approached your firm in good faith. He made a proposition that could benefit both our businesses. Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services accepted that proposal. You were taken at your word. Do not disappoint Mr. Sandman.”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stands up, thinks better of it, and sits down again.
SANDMAN: “Mr. Sandman entered this project with the full knowledge that there were some risks. Gentlemen, life is full of risks. Be assured that Mr. Sandman has no intention of failing. Failure is not allowed.”
MARVELLOUS: “Thank you, sir. You certainly have put any misgivings I might have had to rest. Would you like to add anything, Harry?”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stands up to speak, thinks better of it, and sits down again.
HOWL: “Thank you, Bill. I don’t want to take up too much time so I shall limit myself to two points. First, let us address your assertion, sir, that life is full of risks. Certainly we agree, but the point is, are the risks involved unfavourable to the outcome of this project? And are these risks being equally shared by both parties in this partnership? Secondly, let us direct our attention to the question of rewards. Are we at Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services being compensated fairly for the large involvement in time, manpower, and money?”
[CAMERA… There is a long pregnant silence finally broken by Bill Marvellous.
MARVELLOUS: “Thank you, Harry. I think we all appreciate your candor. Mr. Sandman?”
SANDMAN: “May we smoke?”
[CAMERA… Bill Marvellous takes his box of cigars and quickly steps across the room to the Sandman and offers him one of his Cubans. The Sandman takes a cigar.
CLOSE UP… Brief glimpse of the Sandman as he lights his cigar. His features are hideous. A pock marked face with a long scar that runs down one cheek.
LONG SHOT… Bill Marvellous returns to his seat behind his desk.
SANDMAN: “A sensitive nerve has been struck this afternoon. It goes to the core of what Mr. Sandman believes is the cause of the decline of the West. That problem, gentlemen, is greed. Everyone wants more. Everyone wants a bigger slice of the pie. What happened to self-sacrifice and industry? We all need to share in the abundance of the harvest. It is greed that will jeopardize the success of our mission, gentlemen. The prisons are filled with avarice. It pains Mr. Sandman to hear those with whom he has joined in sacred matrimony, stoop to such a rebuttal. Gentlemen, let us be satisfied.”
[CAMERA… FADE OUT to darkness.
CUT to Ellen Ellery waking up in bed and screaming.
END OF SCENE SEVEN
EIGHTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
PICKING UP THE ENDS OF THE DAY
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of David Faster stepping out the front doors of a high school. A janitor is off to one side picking up garbage.
MEDIIUM SHOT… Faster smiles, looks at the janitor and steps over to speak to him. The janitor is an old man with red hair that has been bleached gray. His face is marked with lines of sadness.
FASTER: “Another day and another dollar.”
JANITOR: “The day never ends.”
FASTER: “I guess you get tired of picking up after these kids?”
JANITOR: “There is more going on here than picking up garbage.”
FASTER: “Ah yes. Youth learning. It’s very exciting.”
JANITOR: “More than that, sir. Kids have been smoking up out here.”
FASTER: “Drugs! Right in front of the school?”
JANITOR: “They’re not afraid of us, sir. They’re not afraid of the police. They’re not afraid of their parents. Fear has been eliminated, sir. It makes life very dangerous for all of us.”
END OF SCENE EIGHT
END OF THE THIRD EPISODE
NORTH ATLANTIC
TREATY ORGANIZATION
INTRODUCTION
[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.
[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Mr. Faster your assignment today is in Political Geography. You will be replacing Miss Anacin. If you should smell something foul in your classrooms please do not draw attention to it. Several of our students are extremely sensitive as well as being from wealthy and influential Windsor families.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995
FIRST SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
REVELATIONS AND REGRETS
FADE to white. CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster’s face. A cigarette hangs out of a five o’clock shadow. A new picture hangs on the wall behind him. It is a poster of Lee Harvey Oswald.
MEDIUM SHOT… Faster takes the cigarette out of his mouth, punk like, and spits on the floor. He takes another puff of his cigarette, drops it onto the floor and grinds it out with his boot.
FASTER: “I was a patsy! They used me. Everyone used me. I was passed around like the queen of spades in a game of broken hearts. You learn a lot of things in the slammer. First, you learn how to apply lipstick when you’re told to. Second, you learn that everyone, one hundred and fifty percent of the inmates, are innocent. Third, you learn to play cards. Everyone plays Fish. It’s so bloody boring in here. They call it hard time. Everyone is waiting, waiting for their time to be done. Prison is the only place on the planet where time runs backwards. I shouldn’t have trusted Marvellous and Howl. Hell, I was only a kid. What did I know?”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster’s face.
FASTER: “I accompanied Ellen Ellery to the elegant but highly overrated Anchor Inn. There was a listening device, planted in our salad bowl. Hell, who expects to find a bug in the lettuce? What did they think they could learn? That I had a hot chicken sandwich? That Ellen had the special, speckled trout? And almost chocked on a bone? That sometimes you just can’t help it? It just leaks out.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of Faster pounding on Ellen Ellery’s back as two waiters try to pull him off her.
CUT to Faster in his cell smiling. He produces a toothpick from behind his ear and begins to pick at his teeth.
FASTER: “The management wanted to press charges. But Ellen revived coughed up the tooth and cleared up the misunderstanding. I didn’t know that trout had teeth. After a couple glasses of wine, Ellen dropped the motherlode. A rival educational supply firm in Windsor was offering discount supply teachers to the Ministry of Education. Genova Educational Services. Paul Man, Genova’s managing director, was a known felon with underworld contacts in Detroit. I didn’t know what to think. I offered to drop Ellen off at her place but she declined. So I left her in the restaurant and returned alone to my room. There was a note awaiting me at the motel office. I was to take a train the next morning for Windsor. Of all the one horse God forsaken dumps in Ontario, why did they have to choose Windsor? I tried to get some sleep but all I could think about was Paul Man, and his gangsters, and their big guns. The next morning I grabbed a taxi for the train station. I was early so I wrote my first report to Mr. Howl. At 8:20 I boarded the train and sat at a window. The trip was uneventful except for a small fire in the men’s room.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster in the train washroom sneaking a smoke.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster leaving the washroom.
MEDIUM SHOT of smoke slipping out from beneath the washroom door.
CUT to stewards with fire extinguishers rushing into the washroom, while passengers in the train are in a panic, screaming and running down the aile of the train.
CUT to shot of Faster being grabbed as he attempts to open an emergency hatch and jump from the train.
CUT to Faster in his cell.
FASTER: “I denied everything. When they asked why I was trying to leave the train, I said I was just trying to get some fresh air. Upon my arrival in Windsor, I compared the prices of three rent-a-car agencies finally deciding on a cab. I bought three chocolate bars, which I ate sequentially. On the way to the Constellation Hotel, I noticed that there seemed to be an awful lot of laundromats in Windsor. Too many! The influence of the criminal underworld was everywhere. I was grateful that I’d had the foresight to purchase a firearm.”
END OF SCENE ONE
SECOND SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
ORDERING FOOD
FADE to white. CUT to Faster and Ellen walking along Gordon Street. Ellen greets several sailors and they to begin to follow the couple.
CUT to Ellen and Faster running down the street followed a few moments later by the three sailors.
CUT to Ellen and Faster cutting into an alley. The sailors run passed the alley. Faster and Ellen share a cigarette.
CUT to 3 sailors coming back to the alley and spotting Ellen and Faster in an amorous embrace.
CUT to Ellen and Faster running down the alley. The 3 sailors are running behind them.
CUT to Ellen and Faster slipping into the back entrance of a shop. Moments later the 3 sailors run passed the now closed door.
CUT to Ellen and Faster in a sex shop. Ellen is checking out various dildos and vibrators. Faster is looking around expecting to see the sailors.
CUT to Ellen and Faster reading the menu in front of the Anchor Inn.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster and Ellen sitting at a table.
ELLEN: “Do you always walk that fast?”
FASTER: “I thought it was a good idea to keep a few steps ahead of your friends.”
ELLEN: “They weren’t friends of mine.”
FASTER: “I wish you’d told them that.”
CAMERA… A waiter approaches the table.
ELLEN: “You weren’t wearing high heels.”
FASTER: “Why did you have to ask those sailors for the time?”
WAITER: “My name is Jeffery. I shall be your waiter this evening. Would you like a beverage before you order?”
ELLEN: “I forgot my watch.”
FASTER: “And was it necessary to ask that sales lady about her recommendations in vibrators?”
ELLEN: “Don’t take that tone of voice with me. If you need to know, I was trying to catch my breath. I never met anyone who was so unfriendly.”
FASTER: “They had more on their mind than a friendly chat.”
ELLEN: “Men!”
FASTER: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
WAITER: “I’ll return when you’re ready.”
ELLEN: “It means what it means. And try and keep your voice down.”
FASTER: “God, I’m starving. Where’s our waiter?”
ELLEN: “The service is usually good in this place. Why don’t you go up to the bar and get us a drink?”
FASTER: “That’s not my job. The waiter should do that.”
ELLEN: “Get me a drink!”
FASTER: “I won’t. Besides, it was your idea to come in here.”
[CAMERA… some time passes. Eventually the waiter returns.
WAITER: “Have you decided?”
ELLEN: “I need a drink.”
[CAMERA… Faster is looking at his menu.
FASTER: “Why aren’t there any prices on the menu?”
ELLEN: “Let’s just order.”
FASTER: “I’d like to know. I am a customer and I have the right to know why there aren’t any prices on the menu.”
WAITER: “It isn’t the policy of the Anchor Inn.”
FASTER: “You’re a restaurant, aren’t you?”
ELLEN: “I’ll have a martini. Two olives. I’m starving.”
WAITER: “And the gentleman?”
FASTER: “I haven’t made my mind up yet.”
[CAMERA… the waiter departs. Ellen turns and slaps Faster on the forehead.
FASTER: “That hurt!”
ELLEN: “Just order, stupid!”
FASTER: “He pissed me off. No prices. Let him sweat a while.”
ELLEN: “Why do you have to be so difficult? I told you it was my treat.”
FASTER: “You’ve missed the point completely.”
ELLEN: “I think I’ll have the trout.”
FASTER: “Are you sure?”
ELLEN: “I love fish. Try the fish.”
FASTER: “What about mercury poisoning?”
ELLEN: “Don’t worry, David. I can guarantee that you won’t suffer any brain damage.”
END OF SCENE TWO
THIRD SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
MAKING TELEPHONE CALLS
FADE to white. CUT to Faster sitting at his table in the Anchor Inn. He turns to the camera and begins to floss his teeth. Behind him Ellen has begun to choke. Faster clears his throat and addresses the camera.
FASTER: “As soon as I got into my room at the Constellation Hotel in Windsor I asked reception to make a long distance call to Toronto. I missed Mums. In the meantime I took a shower and flossed my teeth. I love to floss. Wonderful invention. Must have been the ruin of the toothpick industry. I got out some sandpaper. Extra rough. My feet were killing me. Calluses build up on my feet so much that I’m sure a blacksmith could put a shoe on each of them. The phone rang.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of Faster sitting on his bed picking up the phone from the bedside table. He turns to the camera.
FASTER: “I could hardly hear Mums at the other end of the line.”
[CAMERA… SPLIT SCREEN… Faster is on one screen. On the second screen is a balding middle-aged gentleman. He is in bed with his wife who is sleeping beside him. He has his hand over the phone and is whispering. His name is Honey Buns.
HONEY BUNS: “Hello.”
FASTER: “Hi Mums!”
HONEY BUNS: “Is that you Janet? Do you have any idea what time it is?”
FASTER: “Oh Mums, I do hope you are keeping yourself well. Have you got the air-conditioning on? Don’t worry about the cost. If we can’t afford to stay cool what’s the point of living is what I always say.”
HONEY BUNS: “I can hardly hear you. How can I stay cool when you’re phoning me at home? Myrtle is right beside me. Her sleeping pills don’t always work. If she finds out about us, I’ll be out on the street.”
FASTER: “What was that Mums? We haven’t got a very good line here.”
HONEY BUNS: “I can’t speak any louder.”
FASTER: “You sound upset, Mums. Use a Phillips screwdriver to adjust the air. It’s very muggy in Windsor but I’m managing. The rash is under control.”
HONEY BUNS: “How do you expect me to react? I got you an apartment. I helped you with your singing career. I even let your brother move in with you. I thought we had an agreement. No phone calls.”
FASTER: “Don’t overfeed the goldfish. And the cat. Feed the cat or there’ll be no goldfish in the morning. I’m still not sure why Marvellous sent me here. It looks like I could be gone indefinitely.”
HONEY BUNS: “Of course I still love you. And I’m happy when you’re happy. That doesn’t make everything marvelous.”
FASTER: “Good to hear, Mums.”
HONEY BUNS: “I’m not sure about that brother of yours. Let him get a job. And it’s got nothing to do with him being black.”
FASTER: “There are extra light bulbs under the kitchen sink.”
HONEY BUNS: “Yes, Little Jack misses you too, Poopsy. Little Jack is very lonely. He wants to play in the…”
[CAMERA… CUT to one screen. Honey Buns has just noticed his wife waking from her sleep. She glares at him. He smiles sheepishly and hangs up the phone.
HONEY BUNS: “Wrong number, dear.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster on the phone.
FASTER: “I’d better go now, Mums. Call you on Tuesday. Love you.”
[CAMERA… Faster hangs up the phone. A tear run downs his cheek. He looks around for a Kleenex. Not finding one, he grabs the sheet of the bed and blows his nose.
END OF SCENE THREE
FOURTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
CLASS DISCUSSION
FADE to white. CUT to classroom where Faster has written North Atlantic Treaty Organization on the blackboard.. He points to an Asian student who is wearing a kerchief over his long dreadnoughts. Close-ups of Faster and each student’s face as they speak.
FASTER: “Can you tell me what NATO means?”
KERCHIEF: “Who cares, bro?”
FASTER: “It’s an organization that was set up after the Second World War.”
KERCHIEF: “Just a bunch of white men telling the black man how to live their lives.”
FASTER: “Not exactly.”
[CAMERA… A black girl in braids puts up her hand.
BRAIDS: “Are you saying they weren’t white men?”
FASTER: “Well, yes they were white men.”
KERCHIEF: “Just what I said. The white man is always trying to run the lives of the black man. We don’t need school to teach us that.”
BRAIDS: “Why are you running your mouth? You ain’t black.”
[CAMERA… boy with shaved head stands up.
SHAVED HEAD: “Why are Negroes always complaining? All that prejudice stuff happened a long time ago.”
KERCHIEF: “Watch your back, whitie!”
GIRL IN RED PIG TAILS: “My daddy says that all black people end up in prison.”
KERCHIEF: “The white man’s prison. Keep us locked up so that you can violate our black women.”
BRAIDS: “We ain’t your women!”
BLOND GIRL: “Denzel Washington is cute.”
GIRL IN RED PIG TAILS: “I didn’t know that he was black.”
BOY DRESSED IN SUIT WITH WHITE SHIRT AND TIE: “In Russia everyone is white.”
KERCHIEF: “This is America, Igor, not Russia.”
BRAIDS: “No, it ain’t.”
BLOND GIRL: “My grandmother is from Bermuda. Does that make me black?”
[CAMERA… CLOSE UP Faster’s face. It is beet red.
FASTER: “Shut the fuck up!”
[CAMERA… LONG SHOT… The room is silent.
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
DIALECTICS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of Ellen Ellery staggering out of the Anchor Inn by herself. As she almost loses her balance she is grabbed by two men in overcoats , each one taking one of her arms. She is quickly escorted into a dark limousine waiting at the curb.
CUT to a dental office where Ellen is strapped into a chair. Lewis stands to one side of her. Dr. Glimbach dressed in a white suit steps into the room.
ELLEN: “You’ll never get away with this.”
LEWIS: “Of course we will.”
ELLEN: “Why am I here?”
LEWIS: “All in good time, my sweetie. All in good time.”
DR. GLIMBACH sings: “Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste.”
ELLEN: “Who the hell is the dork in the white suit?”
LEWIS: “So nice that you could come at such notice, doctor. I speak for everyone in the Union when I say that we have admired your work.”
ELLEN: “Why am I in this dental chair? My head feels funny. I think I’m going to barf.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “Relax, my dear. Everything unpleasant passes in time.”
LEWIS: “Everyone at the home office has heard of your wonderful work in Herzogovina and Argentina. That interview you had on CNN with Larry King was so enlightening. It gave a friendly face to modern torture.”
ELLEN: “Torture!”
DR. GLIMBACH: “There’s a great future in torture. I always recommend it to my students.”
LEWIS: “You are too modest, doctor. I read your published lectures from U.C.L.A. Fascinating material.”
[CAMERA… The doctor snaps on a pair of plastic gloves. He bends over Ellen and pries open her mouth.
DR. GLIMBACH: “You have a build up of plaque, my dear. And I think I spot the beginnings of what could be serious dental decay. And you might cut down on your cigarette smoke. The smoke yellows the teeth.”
ELLEN: “Do that again and I’ll bite your fucking fingers off!”
LEWIS: “I understand that you consider the Americans amateurs in the field.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “No patience. Always going for the quick answer. Torture is like a good stew. It needs time to bring out its flavour. And such shabby dressers. I’m sure they buy everything off the rack.”
[CAMERA… The doctor picks up a drill and turns it on.
ELLEN SCREAMS
DR. GLIMBACH: “Applying pain is a gentlemen’s business. After all, we are not animals.”
ELLEN: “What do you want to know? I’ll tell you everything.”
[CAMERA… The doctor places a stick between her teeth. Ellen squirms in her seat, trying to speak. Her words are inaudible because of the stick.
LEWIS: “Who would you say inspired you as a young boy? Who were your heroes?”
DR. GLIMBACH: “My older brother, Ernst. He loved to play with cats. What a way he had with animals. And there was Mr. N at the barbershop. It was an inspiration to see a razor in that man’s hands. And we used to play with the neighbourhood girls. What fun we had! And I read a lot. My mother said that I would go blind reading. I was especially fond of the material the Vatican has on the Inquisition. And medical texts. I loved those drawings of the internal organs of the body. It’s not true that the body is made up mostly of water. It’s mostly made up of blood.”
[CAMERA… Ellen is violently squirming in her seat. The doctor changes the bit on the drill in his hand. Lewis turns and slaps Ellen across the face. For a moment she is frozen in shock.
LEWIS: “Behave now! The doctor is talking.”
DR. GLIMBACH: “I think that the greatest influence upon my work has been the Good Lord himself. Imagine allowing your only Son to be crowned with thorns and then to have strangers drive nails into his feet and hands. Absolutely delicious! And then the spear in the side. What a marvelous touch!”
[CAMERA… Ellen manages to spit out the stick in her mouth
ELLEN: “For Christ’s sake, ask me something! Yes, I read the National Enquirer. No, I don’t shave under my arms. Yes, I have used various cylindrical devices as sexual appendages. But never on Sundays!”
DR. GLIMBACH: “She is an excitable young lady. I like that.”
LEWIS: “What do you know about the Sandman Project?”
ELLEN: “Sandman? I never heard of any project.”
[CAMERA… The doctor pries open Ellen’s mouth again with another stick. He bends over her with the drill. Ellen vomits.
END OF SCENE FIVE
SIXTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
POLITELY EXCHANING GIFTS
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of room. David Faster is handing a package over to another man, a principal, who sits behind a desk. Faster takes a seat opposite him.
CLOSE UP of principal. He is a well conditioned gentleman in a sharp gray suit. His receding hair line is well tanned and handsome.
FASTER: “I hadn’t expected such a handsome man.”
PRINCIPAL: “Excuse me.”
FASTER: “A lovely desk. Is it mahogany?”
PRINCIPAL: “Veneer. Now, shall we get down to business? Good. This is the package you were asked to bring me.”
FASTER: “Yes.”
PRINCIPAL: “Very good. I’ll talk to the president of our student council. Peter is quite an enterprising young man. He’ll know what to do with it.”
[CAMERA… The principal unlocks a door in his desk and drops the package inside. He removes a second envelope and hands it to Faster. Then he locks the drawer and places the key in his pocket. Faster looks at the envelope in his hand.
PRINCIPAL: “You understand that this interview has never taken place. You never gave me the package.”
FASTER: “What am I supposed to do with this envelope?”
PRINCIPAL: “You don’t know?”
FASTER: “No. I don’t know anything.”
PRINCIPAL LAUGHS: “Of course you don’t. Very good. But you do know who to give the envelop to.”
FASTER: “I know nothing!”
PRINCIPAL: “Of course you don’t. Very good. You give it to the party that gave you the package?”
FASTER: “What package?”
PRINCIPAL: “The package you just gave me.”
FASTER: “I never gave you a package. You told me that I didn’t.”
PRINCIPAL: “You gave me a package. I put it in the locked drawer of my desk and then I gave you that envelope. If anyone asks you, you deny everything. Do you understand?”
FASTER: “Of course.’
PRINCIPAL: “Now about the package…”
FASTER: “Is this a test?”
PRINCIPAL: “Just give the envelope to the person who gave you the package that we are going to deny ever existed.”
FASTER: “Right! Got you! What’s in the envelope?”
PRINCIPAL: “You don’t know?”
FASTER: “I know nothing.”
[CAMERA… Principal glares at Faster. Faster smiles meekly.
END OF SCENE SIX
SEVENTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
A MATTER OF EXPENSE
FADE to white. LONG SHOT… back in Toronto at the offices of Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. Bill Marvellous’s office. The shades are drawn. Ron Howl paces back and forth across the room. Bill Marvellous sits behind his large oak desk. In a darkened corner is the faint image of a child sitting in a chair. His legs do not touch the floor. The child is the dwarf, the Sandman. There is no sound in the room. The whole scene should be shot as one continuous long shot.
MARVELLOUS: “I must tell you sir that my confederate here at Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services, Mr. Howl, is an advocate for the termination of our agreement.”
HOWL: “Terminate is perhaps too harsh a word, Bill, too final. I prefer that well worn but nevertheless cogent phrase - reallocation of assets. It seems to me that we have a great deal to lose in this venture with an uncertain payload at the project’s end. I’m not just thinking of a capital loss but of the number of loyal employees who would lose their positions should this venture fail. And of course there is the further consideration – we may all go to prison.”
MARVELLOUS: “Don’t get Harry wrong, Mr. Sandman…”
HOWL: “It’s Ron, Bill.”
MARVELLOUS: “Ron is as solid as they come. Nerves of steel. Harry and I have spent time in the foxhole and I know I can rely on him. I’d trust him with my wife. Perhaps not my wife, (chuckles) but I would trust him with my wallet. Harry believes in harmony, a balance between advantages and disadvantages, profit and loss, risk and reward. I hope I’m not being presumptuous; sir, but you and I are from the swashbuckler school of commerce. Harry is a vegetarian in the business jungle. You and I, sir, are meat eaters. Still I have found it prudent over the years to give ear to Harry’s caution. It has saved me considerable grief, not to speak of money.”
SANDMAN: “Gentlemen. First of all let me say that it is a great pleasure to meet you both. Your reputation precedes you. We know so little of each other. It is only proper to offer you an insight into the nature of the man you are presently engaged. Mr. Sandman is a man of culture, a man of sensitivity and refinement. God, can’t you stop pacing back and forth!”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stops in his tracks. He takes a seat in one of the chairs off to the camera’s right.
SANDMAN: “Thank you. Mr. Sandman was born into an old world family that placed a premium on taste, manners, and eloquence. Neither indolence nor frivolity were abided. Lessers were always treated with humanity and patience. Superiors were treated with respect and silence. The rule of the family – no matter the consequences, keep your word. Mr. Sandman approached your firm in good faith. He made a proposition that could benefit both our businesses. Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services accepted that proposal. You were taken at your word. Do not disappoint Mr. Sandman.”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stands up, thinks better of it, and sits down again.
SANDMAN: “Mr. Sandman entered this project with the full knowledge that there were some risks. Gentlemen, life is full of risks. Be assured that Mr. Sandman has no intention of failing. Failure is not allowed.”
MARVELLOUS: “Thank you, sir. You certainly have put any misgivings I might have had to rest. Would you like to add anything, Harry?”
[CAMERA… Ron Howl stands up to speak, thinks better of it, and sits down again.
HOWL: “Thank you, Bill. I don’t want to take up too much time so I shall limit myself to two points. First, let us address your assertion, sir, that life is full of risks. Certainly we agree, but the point is, are the risks involved unfavourable to the outcome of this project? And are these risks being equally shared by both parties in this partnership? Secondly, let us direct our attention to the question of rewards. Are we at Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services being compensated fairly for the large involvement in time, manpower, and money?”
[CAMERA… There is a long pregnant silence finally broken by Bill Marvellous.
MARVELLOUS: “Thank you, Harry. I think we all appreciate your candor. Mr. Sandman?”
SANDMAN: “May we smoke?”
[CAMERA… Bill Marvellous takes his box of cigars and quickly steps across the room to the Sandman and offers him one of his Cubans. The Sandman takes a cigar.
CLOSE UP… Brief glimpse of the Sandman as he lights his cigar. His features are hideous. A pock marked face with a long scar that runs down one cheek.
LONG SHOT… Bill Marvellous returns to his seat behind his desk.
SANDMAN: “A sensitive nerve has been struck this afternoon. It goes to the core of what Mr. Sandman believes is the cause of the decline of the West. That problem, gentlemen, is greed. Everyone wants more. Everyone wants a bigger slice of the pie. What happened to self-sacrifice and industry? We all need to share in the abundance of the harvest. It is greed that will jeopardize the success of our mission, gentlemen. The prisons are filled with avarice. It pains Mr. Sandman to hear those with whom he has joined in sacred matrimony, stoop to such a rebuttal. Gentlemen, let us be satisfied.”
[CAMERA… FADE OUT to darkness.
CUT to Ellen Ellery waking up in bed and screaming.
END OF SCENE SEVEN
EIGHTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
PICKING UP THE ENDS OF THE DAY
FADE to white. LONG SHOT of David Faster stepping out the front doors of a high school. A janitor is off to one side picking up garbage.
MEDIIUM SHOT… Faster smiles, looks at the janitor and steps over to speak to him. The janitor is an old man with red hair that has been bleached gray. His face is marked with lines of sadness.
FASTER: “Another day and another dollar.”
JANITOR: “The day never ends.”
FASTER: “I guess you get tired of picking up after these kids?”
JANITOR: “There is more going on here than picking up garbage.”
FASTER: “Ah yes. Youth learning. It’s very exciting.”
JANITOR: “More than that, sir. Kids have been smoking up out here.”
FASTER: “Drugs! Right in front of the school?”
JANITOR: “They’re not afraid of us, sir. They’re not afraid of the police. They’re not afraid of their parents. Fear has been eliminated, sir. It makes life very dangerous for all of us.”
END OF SCENE EIGHT
END OF THE THIRD EPISODE
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Terminal Moraines
THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Two
Terminal Moraines
INTRODUCTION
[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.
[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Mr. Faster. Your assignment today is Our Lady of Lourdes School. You will be replacing Miss K’s grade 9 Geography class. The children are studying erosion.. Do not park your car in the staff parking lot. The board will make no restitution for damages incurred.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995
FIRST SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
BEFORE AND AFTER THE CAMERA
FADE to white. CUT to a very tight shot of David Faster’s face. We are back in the jail cell. Faster’s face sinks into his hands as he bows. Behind him on the wall is a photograph of a middle-aged matronly woman smiling kindly. Faster is muttering something inaudible. He takes a cigarette out of a pack from his shirt pocket, lights it up, then passes the cigarettes to someone off camera.
FASTER: “Funny how laughter can make you sad. After we dropped Lewis off at his hotel, Miss Leigh told me a funny joke about Swedish food. I laughed and then said no more. I felt utterly alone in the world. Miss Leigh tried to strike up a conversation but I just sat there staring out the cab window as we moved slowly north on Gordon Street. What a lonely name for a street. It seemed to take forever for the cab to blaze a trail through the university grounds. The cab driver, a Sikh, kept pointing out various sights, turning around each time to make eye contact with us. Miss Leigh implored him to keep his eyes on the road. He laughed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so sad. When the cab finally came to a stop at Our Lady of Lourdes School, I hesitated to step out. I looked at Miss Leigh. I suppose my anxiety showed because she took my hand and squeezed it. On the steps of the school I watched the cab move away. Inside my hand was a business card – New Frontier Motel, which Miss Leigh had slipped into my fingers, which is where I ended up hours later. In my room alone again. Staring at the walls, waiting for the morning to arrive and my next assignment, waiting like some poor creature crawling across the floor of the sea and wishing.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster unpacking.
CUT through a shower curtain. Faster is taking a shower. Turns on water. Yells. Water is cold.
CUT to Faster on the phone. A series of phone calls in which all we see is Faster dialing and a CUT to him putting phone down and CUT to Faster dialing.
LONG SHOT of Faster leaving motel and running across the street toward a bar. He is almost run over by a cab. The driver, a Sikh, sticks his head out the window and curses at Faster. Faster steps into the bar.
CUT to Faster at the bar ordering a drink.
LONG SHOT of a tall blonde woman wearing a white skirt and a loosely fitting white blouse approaching Faster at the bar. They begin to talk. Her name is Ellen Ellery. She is Australian. Faster grimaces.
ELLEN: “Is something the matter?”
FASTER: “I’m sorry Miss Ellery. I’ve nothing against Australians. You’re the first one I’ve met. Let me be blunt. It’s your accent. You’re a beautiful woman but your voice screeches. Like finger nails on a chalkboard. Your voice is giving me a headache.”
[CAMERA… Noticeably upset Ellen Ellery roots around in her purse for a cigarette. She takes out a lighter and hands it to Faster. He lights her cigarette and puts the lighter in his own pocket before Ellen Ellery reminds him that it is her lighter.
ELLEN: “Shall I speak in an American accent?”
FASTER: “Would you? That’s awfully decent of you.”
ELLEN: “How about a southern drawl? Or perhaps you would prefer someone from the Bronx or maybe the mid-west? I come over here to hit on you and you complain about my accent! This is not my day.”
FASTER: “You’re upset. I didn’t mean to offend. I’m sorry but I’m very sensitive to sound. My mother taught me sign language when I was a child.”
ELLEN: “Your mother was deaf?”
FASTER: “No. She just thought it was a way of keeping the house silent. We never had a television or a radio. Mother abhorred the sound of the human voice. Today I was supply teaching a class of teenagers. They wouldn’t stop talking. My nerves are shot.”
ELLEN LAUGHS: “I’ve had a rotten day as well. I’m a reporter for the Toronto Star. I was sent here to cover the labour turmoil between the teacher’s union and the board of education. I must have interviewed a dozen people. No one would talk. God, I just want to get drunk.”
[CAMERA… CUT to white. The following scenes are presented as a series of slides which have brief if barely noticeable movement.
CUT to Faster falling asleep in a chair by the window of his motel. His feet keep falling off the window sill.
CUT to Faster being woken up by a telephone call
CUT to Faster taking a shower
CUT to Faster rumpling up the bed to make it look like he had slept in the bed
CUT to Faster in a local McDonald’s having breakfast
CUT to Faster sitting at a desk, his head in his hands as students mill around talking and laughing as if he weren’t there.
CUT to Faster entering a gun shop.
CUT to Faster inside his motel room with Miss Leigh
CUT to Faster at the train station. He is being watched by a stranger outside the office window.
CUT to Faster in a bar talking with Ellen Ellery
CUT to Faster and Ellen Ellery in his motel room. They are sitting in chairs side by side looking out the bedroom window. Ellen’s hand is in Faster’s pocket moving up and down.
CUT to Faster and Ellen Ellery in their chairs fast asleep
END OF SCENE ONE
SECOND SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
ASKING DIRECTIONS
FADE to white. CUT to Faster on his way to his teaching assignment. Walking up and down streets. He is lost.
CLOSE UP of Faster, bewildered. He sits down on the curb of a street, head sunk in his hands and begins to whine.
LONG SHOT from across the street at Faster. There are various sounds in this shot including the passing of cars, a dog barking, someone skateboarding. In the background barely audible is the sound of a grown man weeping. Several people pass by, glance down and continue on.
LONG SHOT…An old wino walks up to him, pats him on the shoulder and offers him a drink from the bottle in the paper bag he is holding. Faster shakes his head.
LONG SHOT… An old woman stops and admonishes Faster with gestures about his sitting on the curb. She whacks him across the shoulder with her cane.
LONG SHOT… A shopkeeper rolls out a barrel of dirty water and not seeing Faster pushes the barrel over. A river of muddy water washes up and around Faster and into the curb. A passing cab throws more of this water onto Faster.
LONG SHOT… A policeman steps up to enquire into Faster’s situation.
CLOSE UP… of cop’s congenial smile.
COP: “Can I help you, sir?”
[CAMERA… MEDIUM SHOT of Faster and cop. Faster looks up with a dumb doe like expression.
FASTER: “Help me? Nobody can help me. I am beyond redemption. Why do these things happen to me? Why not some other poor bastard? What did I do to deserve this? What was my crime? Haven’t I always tried to be a decent sort? I’ve always paid my taxes. Did everything by the book. Never broke a rule. But I keep stepping into it. Just keep stepping into it!”
COP: “I’m sure it’s not as bleak as you’re making it out to be, sir.”
FASTER: “Oh, it’s bleak alright! I think I know when things are bleak. Ten minutes from my motel and I’m lost. I’ve never been in this God forsaken town before…”
COP: “I’ll be asking you to watch your language, sir. We wouldn’t want that sort of language to fall into the ears of our children.”
FASTER: “Children! What do I care about a bunch of no neck little creatures?”
COP: “Sir!”
FASTER: “Oh, I’m sorry constable. It’s these bloody streets. None of them are straight and they keep changing the names. They seemed to have been allowed to wander around as they please. Hasn’t anyone heard of town planning? There aren’t even any proper intersections. If only Mums were here. Oh Mums, why has thou forsaken thee?”
COP: “Sir, I’ll be asking you for the last time to watch your tongue.”
FASTER: “I’m lost for Christ’s sake!”
[CAMERA… The cop takes out his night stick and for a brief moment considers using it on Faster.
FASTER: “Where the hell is Our Lady of Lourdes?”
COP: “It’s across the street.”
FASTER LOOKS UP: “Oh.”
END OF SCENE TWO
THIRD SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
CLEANING UP
FADE to white. CUT to Faster in a washroom. He is a mess. Examines his teeth. Turns on the faucet. The water gushes out and sprays across Faster’s trousers. Faster grabs some paper towels and attempts to clean the crotch of his trousers. He throws the paper towel in the garbage pail now already piled high with paper towels. Faster takes his trousers off and spreads them across the floor. He takes more paper towels and attempts to clean his trousers. He throws the paper towels in the garbage pail. Overflowing with paper towels he attempts to stamp the towels with his foot. His foot gets stuck in the pale. His attempts to kick the pale off are futile. He attempts to use his other foot to loosen his foot from the pail. Using all his strength he manages to release his foot but losing his balance ends up putting his now free foot into the toilet. Someone knocks at the door.
FASTER: “Fuck off!”
END OF SCENE THREE
FOURTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
OFFICE OF THE PRINCIPAL
FADE to white. CUT to a clean shaven smiling face of the school principal. He leans back in his chair. Light coming in from the room behind him makes him look like he was glowing. There is a pencil in his hand that he taps on his desk.
FASTER: “I am David Faster.”
PRINCIPAL: “Yes.”
FASTER: “How are you this morning?”
PRINCIPAL: “I feel guilty.”
FASTER: “Guilty? I’m sorry. Why would you feel guilty?”
PRINCIPAL SMILES: “Why do you feel sorry?”
FASTER: “I don’t know.”
PRINCIPAL: “Have you ever noticed how sad the light in the morning is? The light knows. Most people die in their sleep. Usually late in the morning. Just before most people wake up for work. Don’t you find that queer?”
FASTER: “Queer?”
PRINCIPAL: “Do you suppose that death wakes you up before it carries you off? Or do you die in a dream? In the dream are you a young boy swinging through the trees when your rope breaks? Or are you a young woman racing her sports car through winding mountain roads when you lose control? Or are you sitting down for a feast when the turkey stands up on the platter and lunges for your throat?”
FASTER: “I hadn’t actually given the matter much…”
PRINCIPAL: “These are the questions professional teachers ask. You must make your students nervous.”
FASTER MOVING UNCOMFORTABLY IN HIS SEAT: “Nervous?”
PRINCIPAL: “What about privacy? I’d like some privacy when I die. At the moment of death your muscles relax. All your muscles. Your bowels empty. Could you imagine the embarrassment if you died in a public place? Think of dignity.”
FASTER: “Dignity?”
PRINCIPAL: “I have survived the night. Why? Why was I allowed to live? What were my credentials? Who set up the criteria for death? Is there a list? Is there a test? Can you study for it? Who decides who lives and who lives and who sleeps in? Students sleep in. Teachers do not. Don’t let it happen again.”
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
BUYING GOODS
FADE to white. CUT to the front of a shop, Silentio’s Rod and Gun Shop.
LONG SHOT of Faster stepping into shop.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster stepping into the shop and up to the counter. A clerk has his back to Faster. He turns around. The shopkeeper is a small thin spidery figure. Thin fragile glasses hang on the precipice of his pointed gargoyle like nose. He has a reclining chin. Above the small squinty eyes flickers a couple of dark eyebrows. A high pitch voice squeaks out between his thin quivering lips.
SHOPKEEPER: “Can I help you, sir?”
[CAMERA… MEDIUM SHOT of Faster looking around the shop. The walls are covered with different hunting rifles. There are photographs of hunters and their trophies. The camera SCANS the walls as if it were Faster’s eyes. In all these shots the camera should have the cross hairs of a rifle’s sights.
SHOPKEEPER: “Sir.”
FASTER: “Are you the proprietor, sir?”
SHOPKEEPER: “Yes, I am.”
FASTER: “Well, Mr. Silentio…”
SHOPKEEPER: “Alas, I am not Mr. Silentio. Old Johannes passed away several years ago.”
FASTER: “I’m sorry to hear that. Was he ill for a long time?”
SHOPKEEPER: “Mr. Silentio was bi-polar. He died of self-inflicted wounds. Death was instantaneous. He died on the very spot you are standing.”
[CAMERA… Faster smiles and steps to one side.
SHOPKEEPER: “I bought the business but never got around to changing the name. My name is Victor Eremita. Are you a hunter?”
FASTER: “Hunter? God no. My employer has instructed me to look for a weapon. Self-defense. Something that kills without an awful mess.”
EREMITA: “I must take this occasion to enquire if you have the necessary papers. There are very strict gun controls.”
[CAMERA… Faster produces some papers, which Eremita examines. Eremita smiles.
EREMITA: “Everything seems in order. Have you ever been in love?
FASTER: “Love. I suppose I have.”
EREMITA: “If you suppose then you haven’t fallen in love. That’s good. I sold a gun to a fellow last month who was love sick. Next thing I hear he’s shot himself, his wife, his mother-in-law, his unemployed brother-in-law, the brother-in-law’s wife. The police were not happy campers. So now I make it a point to ask questions. We have a nice selection of revolvers over here. Each one has its own story.”
[CAMERA… Eremita unlocks a glass case. He takes out several guns.
EREMITA: “This pearl handle Colt for example. This was used by an American general in Vietnam who unfortunately found himself in a position where the gun was no longer of any use to him. It would make a fine addition to anyone’s collection.”
FASTER: “It’s very beautiful, but a little too conspicuous. I was looking for something I could just slip into my pocket.”
EREMITA: “Grab a hold of this little gem. Doesn’t that feel cuddly? An old Jew owned it. Crazy bugger. Use to hear voices. Took his only son out to the dump one afternoon and pumped three into the kid. Claimed God told him to do it. The kid survived. The old man was committed.”
FASTER: “It’s a little heavy.”
EREMITA: “Try this nice snubbed nose job. I’m told that it has quite an effect on the ladies. What it lacks in size it more than makes up in sophistication. Splendid workmanship.”
FASTER: “It’s not a little too effeminate?”
EREMITA: “Certainly not. The previous owner was quite a ladies man. Unfortunately one of his lady friends reached into his pocket and fired the gun by accident. Blew his balls clear off. Just as well that he didn’t survive his injuries. I went to the funeral. Very moving. Many of the gentleman’s former lovers were there. Even some of the husbands showed up. They played that song Elton John sung for Princess Di - Candle in the rain. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.”
FASTER: “I guess it will do fine. Does it include bullets?”
EREMITA: “Naturally. Cash or charge?”
FASTER: “Charge.”
[CAMERA… Faster hands a charge card to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper turns his back on Faster and runs the card. He turns back and hands a card to Faster who signs it.
EREMITA: “Where is the gun, sir?”
FASTER: “Can’t I take it now?”
EREMITA: “I’ll have to process these papers first with the police. It’s just a formality. I can have the gun sent to your address or you could pick it up tomorrow.”
[CAMERA… Faster takes the gun out of his pocket and hands it back to the shopkeeper.
FASTER: “I’m over at the New Frontier Motel.”
EREMITA: “That’s fine. Let me guess your profession. Are you an insurance fraud investigator?”
[CAMERA… FASTER shakes his head.
EREMITA: “A diamond salesman?”
[CAMERA… FASTER shakes his head.
EREMITA: “You’re not a private investigator?”
FASTER: “I’m a school teacher.”
EREMITA: “And you need a gun?”
FASTER: “High school.”
EREMITA nods” “Oh, I understand.”
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
SWEET DREAMS
FADE to white. CUT to class room where Faster is sitting at the front desk. The students are watching him. Faster’s eyes keep closing and then opens as he jolts himself awake. And then he is asleep. Faster begins to snore. The students whisper to each other. One by one they slip out of the class. A long period of time passes. Faster is smiling, deep into a dream. The bell rings. Faster is jolted awake. He looks out. The class is empty.
END OF SCENE FIVE
SIXTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
MAKING CONVERSATION
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of Faster returning from a day of teaching. Opening motel room door.
LONG SHOT from across the parking lot at the window of Faster’s room. Sound of shower. Time passes. It gets darker outside. Someone walks passed Faster’s room. More time passes. Miss Leigh shows up at Faster’s motel room. She knocks. Faster lets her in. Time passes. A family of raccoons pass by Faster’s door. It begins to get very dark out. Miss Leigh leaves Faster’s room. The lights in the parking lot go on. A car pulls up next to Faster’s room. A middle-aged man and a young woman get out of the car and make their way into the motel room next to Faster’s. Faster now dressed in a fresh suit of clothes steps out of his motel room. He locks his door.
CUT to CLOSE UP of Ellen Ellery slouched over the bar. There are three empty glasses in front of her.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster sliding onto the stool beside Ellen Ellery.
FASTER: “Ellen. What a coincidence!”
[CAMERA…. Ellen looks up from her drink.
ELLEN: “Who the hell are you?”
FASTER: “David Faster. We met the other evening. What are you drinking?”
ELLEN: “Are you the one from Chicago?”
[CAMERA… Faster shakes his head. He gets the bartender’s attention and orders another round.
ELLEN: “You’re the bastard who sold me that vegomatic! Cuts, dices, shreds! Damn near cut my finger off!”
[CAMERA… Bartender drops two more whisky sours. Faster downs his drink and asks for a second.
FASTER: “You’ve got a jump on me. Let me catch up. God, what a day I’ve had. A kid gave me the finger today. You can’t imagine how much I wanted to bite that damn thing off. I could have used your vegomatic.”
ELLEN: “You’re the one who doesn’t like my accent! Well, how does it sound now? Canadian whisky has drowned the Aussi out me. Buy me a drink!”
FASTER: “I just did.”
[CAMERA… The bartender brings Faster another drink. Ellen finishes her drink.
ELLEN: “Oh, God. I’m so depressed. And don’t go telling me it’s my period. I’m up to my watusi in that shit. A girl can’t feel a little existential without some bastard in a GI cut reminding you what time of the month it is. Do you think Sartre had his nose rubbed in the calendar? Okay, where’s that drink you bought me? I don’t see it.”
FASTER: “You just drank it.”
[CAMERA… Faster gestures to the bartender for another round.
ELLEN: “You’re born into a moderately wealthy family and everyone automatically assumes it’s a bed of roses. You’re born a beautiful and intelligent woman with an engaging personality with only a slight overbite and everyone assumes that life has been served up to you on a silver platter. Nobody says that to you if you’re fat, or ugly, or Estonian. It’s a burden. You don’t have to say it. Women envy me. They’re jealous of my looks, my figure, my sharp inquisitive mind, my career and the men that dote on me.”
[CAMERA… The bartender brings a couple more drinks.
ELLEN: “Don’t tell me I drink too much. Men are always telling me that. Nothing they can do will put a smile on my face so they get all jealous if I put a smile on myself. I don’t need to drink. I simply love the taste of liquor. What are we drinking?”
FASTER: “Whisky sours.”
ELLEN: “Gin is better. Reminds me of the taste of scotch tape. I love the smell of scotch tape. Became addicted at St. Mary’s Convent. Used to walk around the halls with tails of tape hanging off my chin. The nuns thought I was a lesbian. If a man drinks too much no one calls him a fucking fag. But a woman has so much as an independent thought and she’s a dike. Okay, I had one brief affair. It was college. Everyone was experimenting.”
FASTER: “I think we should get something to eat.”
ELLEN: “Did you see the way the bartender has been looking at me? It’s my tits. That’s what it all comes down to. Ever since I was twelve years old, men have been leering at me, pawing me with their stubby little white fingers. Everyone thought that short fat uncle Ernie was so loveable. He only took me to the movies on Saturday afternoons so he could brush the popcorn off my sweater. My knockers have been my curse. Men don’t notice anything else. They wouldn’t care if I had a face like a horse or legs like a table. Men are such sluts!”
[CAMERA… Ellen looks at Faster and smiles. Her face crashes to the surface of the bar. The whack of her head attracts the attention of others in the bar. Faster gestures to the bartender and pays the bill.
LONG SHOT… Faster puts one of Ellen’s arms around his shoulder and helps Ellen to her feet. They make their way with some difficulty toward the exit.
END OF SCENE SIX
SEVENTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
SELF-DEFENSE
FADE to white. CUT to medium shot inside Faster’s motel room. Miss Leigh puts a package down on a bedside table.
MISS LEIGH: “I picked up your gun. Someone dropped it off in the motel office.”
FASTER: “That was very nice of you. Do you think it’s necessary? Why does a teacher need a gun?”
MISS LEIGH: “It can’t hurt. Do you have the package that Bill Marvellous sent?”
[CAMERA… Faster gestures to the drawer in the bedside table. Miss Leigh opens the drawer and takes out the package. She puts it into the purse she is carrying on her shoulder.
MISS LEIGH: “You didn’t notice anything unusual today?”
FASTER: “Have you been inside a high school recently? Everything is unusual.”
MISS LEIGH: “I mean, did you notice anyone paying particular attention to you?”
FASTER SHAKING HIS HEAD: “Should I have?”
MISS LEIGH: “Don’t trust anyone. This isn’t Toronto. You didn’t look into the package, did you?”
FASTER SHAKING HIS HEAD: “Should I have?”
MISS LEIGH: “We may have more packages for you. It’s very important that you don’t mention any of this to anyone. So far, Mr. Sandman is pleased with your performance.”
FASTER: “Who is this Sandman?”
MISS LEIGH: “Better not to ask.”
FASTER: “All of this is very… queer. When am I going home?”
MISS LEIGH: “Home is only a state of mind. Are you going out?”
FASTER: “It’s been a tough day. I thought I might go to the bar across the street.”
MISS LEIGH: “Would you like me to join you?”
FASTER: “I’d like to be alone.”
[CAMERA… Miss Leigh smiles coyly and steps across the room to the door.
MISS LEIGH: “Well, if you need anything, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?”
FASTER: “No.”
MISS LEIGH: “You just put your lips together and… blow.”
[CAMERA… Miss Leigh opens the door and leaves. Faster smiles and puts his lips together. He blows. No sound comes out of his mouth.
END OF SCENE SEVEN
EIGHTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
A FULL STOMACH
FADE to white. CUT to Faster’s motel room.
LONG SHOT … Faster and Ellen are sitting up in bed, bed sheets up to their necks. There are Chinese food containers all over the bed. They are eating with chop sticks.
MEDIUM SHOT… Ellen wipes her mouth with the bed sheet.
ELLEN: “That’s better. I was starving. I love Chinese. Answer me one question.”
FASTER: “Fire.”
ELLEN: “How did we get here? The last thing I remember is a couple of University students buying me a drink. One of them was named Jake. I love that name. We used to have a dog named Jake. I don’t remember the other’s name. He had terrible breath.”
FASTER: “You don’t remember a thing about this evening?”
ELLEN: “Off and on. I remember an awful taste in my mouth. I thought it was toothpaste, but it was too salty.”
FASTER: “I met you at a bar across the street. You had quite a head start on me. We were having a nice conversation when you passed out. I brought you over here. You don’t remember a thing?”
[CAMERA… Ellen looks under the sheet.
ELLEN: “I take it we made love.”
FASTER: “You were very passionate.”
ELLEN: “I wish I’d been there. Did I say anything… queer?”
FASTER: “You said you discovered something peculiar at the school board this afternoon.”
ELLEN: “There are still people who do not scoop up after their doggies have pooped. People shouldn’t be allowed to have animals in the city if they are not willing to administer to their needs. It’s unsanitary. There are children in the parks. They will put anything in their mouths.”
FASTER: “Do you like children, Ellen?”
ELLEN: “Other people’s. Wouldn’t have one myself. Ruins your figure.”
FASTER: “I’d like to have a family one day.”
ELLEN: “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
FASTER: “There was something else. Something about Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services.”
ELLEN: “Marvellous? Oh, yes. The teacher’s union is upset that the government is privatizing education. They are especially upset by this new service that Marvellous is offering with supply teachers. There’s a lot of anger out there. I wouldn’t want to be one of those new supply teachers.”
FASTER: “Anger?”
ELLEN: “They think that their jobs may be next. And Marvellous received this contract without a tendor, which is unusual. Did I ever tell you how difficult it is to be a female reporter? If you ask someone a question they think that they can hit on you. I’m sick of it.”
FASTER: “Was there anything else?”
ELLEN: “Did we get fortune cookies?”
FASTER: “They’re here someplace. What else did they say?”
ELLEN: “Here’s one. I’ll assume it’s mine. A stranger holds unwanted surprises. What the hell does that mean? It must be yours.”
FASTER: “You said there was something else.”
ELLEN: “The union has hired some investigation firm to look into Marvellous’s operations.”
FASTER: “Private investigators?”
ELLEN: “You know. Dicks.”
FASTER: “I need a drink.”
ELLEN: “What a wonderful idea. Just don’t think that means that you can try anything funny.”
END OF SCENE EIGHT
NINTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
BEING WATCHED
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT from across the parking lot at Faster’s motel window. There is someone standing outside window looking in.
MEDIUM SHOT of figure in dark, standing in shadows.
CLOSE-UP of Lewis’s face. He is smiling.
END OF SCENE NINE
END OF SECOND EPISODE
Terminal Moraines
INTRODUCTION
[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.
[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Mr. Faster. Your assignment today is Our Lady of Lourdes School. You will be replacing Miss K’s grade 9 Geography class. The children are studying erosion.. Do not park your car in the staff parking lot. The board will make no restitution for damages incurred.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995
FIRST SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:
BEFORE AND AFTER THE CAMERA
FADE to white. CUT to a very tight shot of David Faster’s face. We are back in the jail cell. Faster’s face sinks into his hands as he bows. Behind him on the wall is a photograph of a middle-aged matronly woman smiling kindly. Faster is muttering something inaudible. He takes a cigarette out of a pack from his shirt pocket, lights it up, then passes the cigarettes to someone off camera.
FASTER: “Funny how laughter can make you sad. After we dropped Lewis off at his hotel, Miss Leigh told me a funny joke about Swedish food. I laughed and then said no more. I felt utterly alone in the world. Miss Leigh tried to strike up a conversation but I just sat there staring out the cab window as we moved slowly north on Gordon Street. What a lonely name for a street. It seemed to take forever for the cab to blaze a trail through the university grounds. The cab driver, a Sikh, kept pointing out various sights, turning around each time to make eye contact with us. Miss Leigh implored him to keep his eyes on the road. He laughed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so sad. When the cab finally came to a stop at Our Lady of Lourdes School, I hesitated to step out. I looked at Miss Leigh. I suppose my anxiety showed because she took my hand and squeezed it. On the steps of the school I watched the cab move away. Inside my hand was a business card – New Frontier Motel, which Miss Leigh had slipped into my fingers, which is where I ended up hours later. In my room alone again. Staring at the walls, waiting for the morning to arrive and my next assignment, waiting like some poor creature crawling across the floor of the sea and wishing.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster unpacking.
CUT through a shower curtain. Faster is taking a shower. Turns on water. Yells. Water is cold.
CUT to Faster on the phone. A series of phone calls in which all we see is Faster dialing and a CUT to him putting phone down and CUT to Faster dialing.
LONG SHOT of Faster leaving motel and running across the street toward a bar. He is almost run over by a cab. The driver, a Sikh, sticks his head out the window and curses at Faster. Faster steps into the bar.
CUT to Faster at the bar ordering a drink.
LONG SHOT of a tall blonde woman wearing a white skirt and a loosely fitting white blouse approaching Faster at the bar. They begin to talk. Her name is Ellen Ellery. She is Australian. Faster grimaces.
ELLEN: “Is something the matter?”
FASTER: “I’m sorry Miss Ellery. I’ve nothing against Australians. You’re the first one I’ve met. Let me be blunt. It’s your accent. You’re a beautiful woman but your voice screeches. Like finger nails on a chalkboard. Your voice is giving me a headache.”
[CAMERA… Noticeably upset Ellen Ellery roots around in her purse for a cigarette. She takes out a lighter and hands it to Faster. He lights her cigarette and puts the lighter in his own pocket before Ellen Ellery reminds him that it is her lighter.
ELLEN: “Shall I speak in an American accent?”
FASTER: “Would you? That’s awfully decent of you.”
ELLEN: “How about a southern drawl? Or perhaps you would prefer someone from the Bronx or maybe the mid-west? I come over here to hit on you and you complain about my accent! This is not my day.”
FASTER: “You’re upset. I didn’t mean to offend. I’m sorry but I’m very sensitive to sound. My mother taught me sign language when I was a child.”
ELLEN: “Your mother was deaf?”
FASTER: “No. She just thought it was a way of keeping the house silent. We never had a television or a radio. Mother abhorred the sound of the human voice. Today I was supply teaching a class of teenagers. They wouldn’t stop talking. My nerves are shot.”
ELLEN LAUGHS: “I’ve had a rotten day as well. I’m a reporter for the Toronto Star. I was sent here to cover the labour turmoil between the teacher’s union and the board of education. I must have interviewed a dozen people. No one would talk. God, I just want to get drunk.”
[CAMERA… CUT to white. The following scenes are presented as a series of slides which have brief if barely noticeable movement.
CUT to Faster falling asleep in a chair by the window of his motel. His feet keep falling off the window sill.
CUT to Faster being woken up by a telephone call
CUT to Faster taking a shower
CUT to Faster rumpling up the bed to make it look like he had slept in the bed
CUT to Faster in a local McDonald’s having breakfast
CUT to Faster sitting at a desk, his head in his hands as students mill around talking and laughing as if he weren’t there.
CUT to Faster entering a gun shop.
CUT to Faster inside his motel room with Miss Leigh
CUT to Faster at the train station. He is being watched by a stranger outside the office window.
CUT to Faster in a bar talking with Ellen Ellery
CUT to Faster and Ellen Ellery in his motel room. They are sitting in chairs side by side looking out the bedroom window. Ellen’s hand is in Faster’s pocket moving up and down.
CUT to Faster and Ellen Ellery in their chairs fast asleep
END OF SCENE ONE
SECOND SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
ASKING DIRECTIONS
FADE to white. CUT to Faster on his way to his teaching assignment. Walking up and down streets. He is lost.
CLOSE UP of Faster, bewildered. He sits down on the curb of a street, head sunk in his hands and begins to whine.
LONG SHOT from across the street at Faster. There are various sounds in this shot including the passing of cars, a dog barking, someone skateboarding. In the background barely audible is the sound of a grown man weeping. Several people pass by, glance down and continue on.
LONG SHOT…An old wino walks up to him, pats him on the shoulder and offers him a drink from the bottle in the paper bag he is holding. Faster shakes his head.
LONG SHOT… An old woman stops and admonishes Faster with gestures about his sitting on the curb. She whacks him across the shoulder with her cane.
LONG SHOT… A shopkeeper rolls out a barrel of dirty water and not seeing Faster pushes the barrel over. A river of muddy water washes up and around Faster and into the curb. A passing cab throws more of this water onto Faster.
LONG SHOT… A policeman steps up to enquire into Faster’s situation.
CLOSE UP… of cop’s congenial smile.
COP: “Can I help you, sir?”
[CAMERA… MEDIUM SHOT of Faster and cop. Faster looks up with a dumb doe like expression.
FASTER: “Help me? Nobody can help me. I am beyond redemption. Why do these things happen to me? Why not some other poor bastard? What did I do to deserve this? What was my crime? Haven’t I always tried to be a decent sort? I’ve always paid my taxes. Did everything by the book. Never broke a rule. But I keep stepping into it. Just keep stepping into it!”
COP: “I’m sure it’s not as bleak as you’re making it out to be, sir.”
FASTER: “Oh, it’s bleak alright! I think I know when things are bleak. Ten minutes from my motel and I’m lost. I’ve never been in this God forsaken town before…”
COP: “I’ll be asking you to watch your language, sir. We wouldn’t want that sort of language to fall into the ears of our children.”
FASTER: “Children! What do I care about a bunch of no neck little creatures?”
COP: “Sir!”
FASTER: “Oh, I’m sorry constable. It’s these bloody streets. None of them are straight and they keep changing the names. They seemed to have been allowed to wander around as they please. Hasn’t anyone heard of town planning? There aren’t even any proper intersections. If only Mums were here. Oh Mums, why has thou forsaken thee?”
COP: “Sir, I’ll be asking you for the last time to watch your tongue.”
FASTER: “I’m lost for Christ’s sake!”
[CAMERA… The cop takes out his night stick and for a brief moment considers using it on Faster.
FASTER: “Where the hell is Our Lady of Lourdes?”
COP: “It’s across the street.”
FASTER LOOKS UP: “Oh.”
END OF SCENE TWO
THIRD SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
CLEANING UP
FADE to white. CUT to Faster in a washroom. He is a mess. Examines his teeth. Turns on the faucet. The water gushes out and sprays across Faster’s trousers. Faster grabs some paper towels and attempts to clean the crotch of his trousers. He throws the paper towel in the garbage pail now already piled high with paper towels. Faster takes his trousers off and spreads them across the floor. He takes more paper towels and attempts to clean his trousers. He throws the paper towels in the garbage pail. Overflowing with paper towels he attempts to stamp the towels with his foot. His foot gets stuck in the pale. His attempts to kick the pale off are futile. He attempts to use his other foot to loosen his foot from the pail. Using all his strength he manages to release his foot but losing his balance ends up putting his now free foot into the toilet. Someone knocks at the door.
FASTER: “Fuck off!”
END OF SCENE THREE
FOURTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
OFFICE OF THE PRINCIPAL
FADE to white. CUT to a clean shaven smiling face of the school principal. He leans back in his chair. Light coming in from the room behind him makes him look like he was glowing. There is a pencil in his hand that he taps on his desk.
FASTER: “I am David Faster.”
PRINCIPAL: “Yes.”
FASTER: “How are you this morning?”
PRINCIPAL: “I feel guilty.”
FASTER: “Guilty? I’m sorry. Why would you feel guilty?”
PRINCIPAL SMILES: “Why do you feel sorry?”
FASTER: “I don’t know.”
PRINCIPAL: “Have you ever noticed how sad the light in the morning is? The light knows. Most people die in their sleep. Usually late in the morning. Just before most people wake up for work. Don’t you find that queer?”
FASTER: “Queer?”
PRINCIPAL: “Do you suppose that death wakes you up before it carries you off? Or do you die in a dream? In the dream are you a young boy swinging through the trees when your rope breaks? Or are you a young woman racing her sports car through winding mountain roads when you lose control? Or are you sitting down for a feast when the turkey stands up on the platter and lunges for your throat?”
FASTER: “I hadn’t actually given the matter much…”
PRINCIPAL: “These are the questions professional teachers ask. You must make your students nervous.”
FASTER MOVING UNCOMFORTABLY IN HIS SEAT: “Nervous?”
PRINCIPAL: “What about privacy? I’d like some privacy when I die. At the moment of death your muscles relax. All your muscles. Your bowels empty. Could you imagine the embarrassment if you died in a public place? Think of dignity.”
FASTER: “Dignity?”
PRINCIPAL: “I have survived the night. Why? Why was I allowed to live? What were my credentials? Who set up the criteria for death? Is there a list? Is there a test? Can you study for it? Who decides who lives and who lives and who sleeps in? Students sleep in. Teachers do not. Don’t let it happen again.”
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
BUYING GOODS
FADE to white. CUT to the front of a shop, Silentio’s Rod and Gun Shop.
LONG SHOT of Faster stepping into shop.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster stepping into the shop and up to the counter. A clerk has his back to Faster. He turns around. The shopkeeper is a small thin spidery figure. Thin fragile glasses hang on the precipice of his pointed gargoyle like nose. He has a reclining chin. Above the small squinty eyes flickers a couple of dark eyebrows. A high pitch voice squeaks out between his thin quivering lips.
SHOPKEEPER: “Can I help you, sir?”
[CAMERA… MEDIUM SHOT of Faster looking around the shop. The walls are covered with different hunting rifles. There are photographs of hunters and their trophies. The camera SCANS the walls as if it were Faster’s eyes. In all these shots the camera should have the cross hairs of a rifle’s sights.
SHOPKEEPER: “Sir.”
FASTER: “Are you the proprietor, sir?”
SHOPKEEPER: “Yes, I am.”
FASTER: “Well, Mr. Silentio…”
SHOPKEEPER: “Alas, I am not Mr. Silentio. Old Johannes passed away several years ago.”
FASTER: “I’m sorry to hear that. Was he ill for a long time?”
SHOPKEEPER: “Mr. Silentio was bi-polar. He died of self-inflicted wounds. Death was instantaneous. He died on the very spot you are standing.”
[CAMERA… Faster smiles and steps to one side.
SHOPKEEPER: “I bought the business but never got around to changing the name. My name is Victor Eremita. Are you a hunter?”
FASTER: “Hunter? God no. My employer has instructed me to look for a weapon. Self-defense. Something that kills without an awful mess.”
EREMITA: “I must take this occasion to enquire if you have the necessary papers. There are very strict gun controls.”
[CAMERA… Faster produces some papers, which Eremita examines. Eremita smiles.
EREMITA: “Everything seems in order. Have you ever been in love?
FASTER: “Love. I suppose I have.”
EREMITA: “If you suppose then you haven’t fallen in love. That’s good. I sold a gun to a fellow last month who was love sick. Next thing I hear he’s shot himself, his wife, his mother-in-law, his unemployed brother-in-law, the brother-in-law’s wife. The police were not happy campers. So now I make it a point to ask questions. We have a nice selection of revolvers over here. Each one has its own story.”
[CAMERA… Eremita unlocks a glass case. He takes out several guns.
EREMITA: “This pearl handle Colt for example. This was used by an American general in Vietnam who unfortunately found himself in a position where the gun was no longer of any use to him. It would make a fine addition to anyone’s collection.”
FASTER: “It’s very beautiful, but a little too conspicuous. I was looking for something I could just slip into my pocket.”
EREMITA: “Grab a hold of this little gem. Doesn’t that feel cuddly? An old Jew owned it. Crazy bugger. Use to hear voices. Took his only son out to the dump one afternoon and pumped three into the kid. Claimed God told him to do it. The kid survived. The old man was committed.”
FASTER: “It’s a little heavy.”
EREMITA: “Try this nice snubbed nose job. I’m told that it has quite an effect on the ladies. What it lacks in size it more than makes up in sophistication. Splendid workmanship.”
FASTER: “It’s not a little too effeminate?”
EREMITA: “Certainly not. The previous owner was quite a ladies man. Unfortunately one of his lady friends reached into his pocket and fired the gun by accident. Blew his balls clear off. Just as well that he didn’t survive his injuries. I went to the funeral. Very moving. Many of the gentleman’s former lovers were there. Even some of the husbands showed up. They played that song Elton John sung for Princess Di - Candle in the rain. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.”
FASTER: “I guess it will do fine. Does it include bullets?”
EREMITA: “Naturally. Cash or charge?”
FASTER: “Charge.”
[CAMERA… Faster hands a charge card to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper turns his back on Faster and runs the card. He turns back and hands a card to Faster who signs it.
EREMITA: “Where is the gun, sir?”
FASTER: “Can’t I take it now?”
EREMITA: “I’ll have to process these papers first with the police. It’s just a formality. I can have the gun sent to your address or you could pick it up tomorrow.”
[CAMERA… Faster takes the gun out of his pocket and hands it back to the shopkeeper.
FASTER: “I’m over at the New Frontier Motel.”
EREMITA: “That’s fine. Let me guess your profession. Are you an insurance fraud investigator?”
[CAMERA… FASTER shakes his head.
EREMITA: “A diamond salesman?”
[CAMERA… FASTER shakes his head.
EREMITA: “You’re not a private investigator?”
FASTER: “I’m a school teacher.”
EREMITA: “And you need a gun?”
FASTER: “High school.”
EREMITA nods” “Oh, I understand.”
END OF SCENE FOUR
FIFTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
SWEET DREAMS
FADE to white. CUT to class room where Faster is sitting at the front desk. The students are watching him. Faster’s eyes keep closing and then opens as he jolts himself awake. And then he is asleep. Faster begins to snore. The students whisper to each other. One by one they slip out of the class. A long period of time passes. Faster is smiling, deep into a dream. The bell rings. Faster is jolted awake. He looks out. The class is empty.
END OF SCENE FIVE
SIXTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
MAKING CONVERSATION
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of Faster returning from a day of teaching. Opening motel room door.
LONG SHOT from across the parking lot at the window of Faster’s room. Sound of shower. Time passes. It gets darker outside. Someone walks passed Faster’s room. More time passes. Miss Leigh shows up at Faster’s motel room. She knocks. Faster lets her in. Time passes. A family of raccoons pass by Faster’s door. It begins to get very dark out. Miss Leigh leaves Faster’s room. The lights in the parking lot go on. A car pulls up next to Faster’s room. A middle-aged man and a young woman get out of the car and make their way into the motel room next to Faster’s. Faster now dressed in a fresh suit of clothes steps out of his motel room. He locks his door.
CUT to CLOSE UP of Ellen Ellery slouched over the bar. There are three empty glasses in front of her.
MEDIUM SHOT of Faster sliding onto the stool beside Ellen Ellery.
FASTER: “Ellen. What a coincidence!”
[CAMERA…. Ellen looks up from her drink.
ELLEN: “Who the hell are you?”
FASTER: “David Faster. We met the other evening. What are you drinking?”
ELLEN: “Are you the one from Chicago?”
[CAMERA… Faster shakes his head. He gets the bartender’s attention and orders another round.
ELLEN: “You’re the bastard who sold me that vegomatic! Cuts, dices, shreds! Damn near cut my finger off!”
[CAMERA… Bartender drops two more whisky sours. Faster downs his drink and asks for a second.
FASTER: “You’ve got a jump on me. Let me catch up. God, what a day I’ve had. A kid gave me the finger today. You can’t imagine how much I wanted to bite that damn thing off. I could have used your vegomatic.”
ELLEN: “You’re the one who doesn’t like my accent! Well, how does it sound now? Canadian whisky has drowned the Aussi out me. Buy me a drink!”
FASTER: “I just did.”
[CAMERA… The bartender brings Faster another drink. Ellen finishes her drink.
ELLEN: “Oh, God. I’m so depressed. And don’t go telling me it’s my period. I’m up to my watusi in that shit. A girl can’t feel a little existential without some bastard in a GI cut reminding you what time of the month it is. Do you think Sartre had his nose rubbed in the calendar? Okay, where’s that drink you bought me? I don’t see it.”
FASTER: “You just drank it.”
[CAMERA… Faster gestures to the bartender for another round.
ELLEN: “You’re born into a moderately wealthy family and everyone automatically assumes it’s a bed of roses. You’re born a beautiful and intelligent woman with an engaging personality with only a slight overbite and everyone assumes that life has been served up to you on a silver platter. Nobody says that to you if you’re fat, or ugly, or Estonian. It’s a burden. You don’t have to say it. Women envy me. They’re jealous of my looks, my figure, my sharp inquisitive mind, my career and the men that dote on me.”
[CAMERA… The bartender brings a couple more drinks.
ELLEN: “Don’t tell me I drink too much. Men are always telling me that. Nothing they can do will put a smile on my face so they get all jealous if I put a smile on myself. I don’t need to drink. I simply love the taste of liquor. What are we drinking?”
FASTER: “Whisky sours.”
ELLEN: “Gin is better. Reminds me of the taste of scotch tape. I love the smell of scotch tape. Became addicted at St. Mary’s Convent. Used to walk around the halls with tails of tape hanging off my chin. The nuns thought I was a lesbian. If a man drinks too much no one calls him a fucking fag. But a woman has so much as an independent thought and she’s a dike. Okay, I had one brief affair. It was college. Everyone was experimenting.”
FASTER: “I think we should get something to eat.”
ELLEN: “Did you see the way the bartender has been looking at me? It’s my tits. That’s what it all comes down to. Ever since I was twelve years old, men have been leering at me, pawing me with their stubby little white fingers. Everyone thought that short fat uncle Ernie was so loveable. He only took me to the movies on Saturday afternoons so he could brush the popcorn off my sweater. My knockers have been my curse. Men don’t notice anything else. They wouldn’t care if I had a face like a horse or legs like a table. Men are such sluts!”
[CAMERA… Ellen looks at Faster and smiles. Her face crashes to the surface of the bar. The whack of her head attracts the attention of others in the bar. Faster gestures to the bartender and pays the bill.
LONG SHOT… Faster puts one of Ellen’s arms around his shoulder and helps Ellen to her feet. They make their way with some difficulty toward the exit.
END OF SCENE SIX
SEVENTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
SELF-DEFENSE
FADE to white. CUT to medium shot inside Faster’s motel room. Miss Leigh puts a package down on a bedside table.
MISS LEIGH: “I picked up your gun. Someone dropped it off in the motel office.”
FASTER: “That was very nice of you. Do you think it’s necessary? Why does a teacher need a gun?”
MISS LEIGH: “It can’t hurt. Do you have the package that Bill Marvellous sent?”
[CAMERA… Faster gestures to the drawer in the bedside table. Miss Leigh opens the drawer and takes out the package. She puts it into the purse she is carrying on her shoulder.
MISS LEIGH: “You didn’t notice anything unusual today?”
FASTER: “Have you been inside a high school recently? Everything is unusual.”
MISS LEIGH: “I mean, did you notice anyone paying particular attention to you?”
FASTER SHAKING HIS HEAD: “Should I have?”
MISS LEIGH: “Don’t trust anyone. This isn’t Toronto. You didn’t look into the package, did you?”
FASTER SHAKING HIS HEAD: “Should I have?”
MISS LEIGH: “We may have more packages for you. It’s very important that you don’t mention any of this to anyone. So far, Mr. Sandman is pleased with your performance.”
FASTER: “Who is this Sandman?”
MISS LEIGH: “Better not to ask.”
FASTER: “All of this is very… queer. When am I going home?”
MISS LEIGH: “Home is only a state of mind. Are you going out?”
FASTER: “It’s been a tough day. I thought I might go to the bar across the street.”
MISS LEIGH: “Would you like me to join you?”
FASTER: “I’d like to be alone.”
[CAMERA… Miss Leigh smiles coyly and steps across the room to the door.
MISS LEIGH: “Well, if you need anything, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?”
FASTER: “No.”
MISS LEIGH: “You just put your lips together and… blow.”
[CAMERA… Miss Leigh opens the door and leaves. Faster smiles and puts his lips together. He blows. No sound comes out of his mouth.
END OF SCENE SEVEN
EIGHTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
A FULL STOMACH
FADE to white. CUT to Faster’s motel room.
LONG SHOT … Faster and Ellen are sitting up in bed, bed sheets up to their necks. There are Chinese food containers all over the bed. They are eating with chop sticks.
MEDIUM SHOT… Ellen wipes her mouth with the bed sheet.
ELLEN: “That’s better. I was starving. I love Chinese. Answer me one question.”
FASTER: “Fire.”
ELLEN: “How did we get here? The last thing I remember is a couple of University students buying me a drink. One of them was named Jake. I love that name. We used to have a dog named Jake. I don’t remember the other’s name. He had terrible breath.”
FASTER: “You don’t remember a thing about this evening?”
ELLEN: “Off and on. I remember an awful taste in my mouth. I thought it was toothpaste, but it was too salty.”
FASTER: “I met you at a bar across the street. You had quite a head start on me. We were having a nice conversation when you passed out. I brought you over here. You don’t remember a thing?”
[CAMERA… Ellen looks under the sheet.
ELLEN: “I take it we made love.”
FASTER: “You were very passionate.”
ELLEN: “I wish I’d been there. Did I say anything… queer?”
FASTER: “You said you discovered something peculiar at the school board this afternoon.”
ELLEN: “There are still people who do not scoop up after their doggies have pooped. People shouldn’t be allowed to have animals in the city if they are not willing to administer to their needs. It’s unsanitary. There are children in the parks. They will put anything in their mouths.”
FASTER: “Do you like children, Ellen?”
ELLEN: “Other people’s. Wouldn’t have one myself. Ruins your figure.”
FASTER: “I’d like to have a family one day.”
ELLEN: “Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
FASTER: “There was something else. Something about Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services.”
ELLEN: “Marvellous? Oh, yes. The teacher’s union is upset that the government is privatizing education. They are especially upset by this new service that Marvellous is offering with supply teachers. There’s a lot of anger out there. I wouldn’t want to be one of those new supply teachers.”
FASTER: “Anger?”
ELLEN: “They think that their jobs may be next. And Marvellous received this contract without a tendor, which is unusual. Did I ever tell you how difficult it is to be a female reporter? If you ask someone a question they think that they can hit on you. I’m sick of it.”
FASTER: “Was there anything else?”
ELLEN: “Did we get fortune cookies?”
FASTER: “They’re here someplace. What else did they say?”
ELLEN: “Here’s one. I’ll assume it’s mine. A stranger holds unwanted surprises. What the hell does that mean? It must be yours.”
FASTER: “You said there was something else.”
ELLEN: “The union has hired some investigation firm to look into Marvellous’s operations.”
FASTER: “Private investigators?”
ELLEN: “You know. Dicks.”
FASTER: “I need a drink.”
ELLEN: “What a wonderful idea. Just don’t think that means that you can try anything funny.”
END OF SCENE EIGHT
NINTH SCENE
[CAMERA… Shot of title:
BEING WATCHED
FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT from across the parking lot at Faster’s motel window. There is someone standing outside window looking in.
MEDIUM SHOT of figure in dark, standing in shadows.
CLOSE-UP of Lewis’s face. He is smiling.
END OF SCENE NINE
END OF SECOND EPISODE
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