Moon Dance

THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Eight

Moon Dance

INTRODUCTION

[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.

[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.

“Mr. Faster. You will meet your class at the Science Centre. Mr. Jazman and Mr. Kramer will be accompanying the students. Do not allow Mr. Jazman and Mr.Kramer to leave you with the students and wander off. Both are on suspension. You will recognize them by the flowers in their hair.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995



SCENE ONE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

OUR STORY BEGINS YEARS LATER

FADE to white. CUT to a scene from a science fiction movie about a future city. There are tall buildings that climb into the clouds. Cars and trucks drive on invisible highways in the sky, weaving in and out of the skyscrapers. There is a dome over the city. From a distance the city resembles a beehive.

CUT to a futuristic morgue located in the front window of a fashionable department store. Corpses are kept in clear glass trays that look like ice cube trays. A small crowd has gathered in front of one of the windows. Some people are carrying Christmas gifts. They are watching the mortician doing an autopsy. He is a heavy set man with white hair and beard and a rosy red nose.

CUT to shot of body on the slab. It is an old gray haired David Faster. His skin is a gray chalky colour. The mortician pulls back the sheet covering Faster’s chest. The mortician takes a pen and draws a line from just below Faster’s neck down to his groin. He then takes a scalpel and slices along the line. A warm white gas escapes from Faster’s chest. The mortician staggers for a moment than passes our over Faster’s legs. Faster’s eyes open. He turns his head and looks at the crowd watching at the window.

FASTER: “God, I could use a cigarette.”

[CAMERA… Faster sits up. Something falls out of his chest and onto the floor. It is mechanical and resembles a television channel converter. A woman standing at the window faints. Faster searches through the mortician’s pockets and finds a package of cigarettes. He lights one up. He pushed the mortician off the table onto the floor. Faster looks down and notices his chest hanging open. Being modest, Faster tugs at the sheet and wraps it around his chest then swings his legs around and sits facing the crowd.

FASTER: “The examined life is not worth living. Happy is the man or woman who can go through life unmolested by the past, untroubled by the future. Oh to be common, to live etherized upon a table. And yet… I have enjoyed thoroughly the gauntlet of my sins.”
[CAMERA… Faster sucks on the cigarette. The smoke comes out of his chest cavity through the sheets.

FASTER: “My departure from Hamilton was filled with relief. I know it is dreadfully cruel to say, but I was glad to get rid of Ellen. It’s an old story with me and the weaker sex. I’m not saying that they are entirely to blame. I am willing within reason to shoulder my fare share of the responsibility for failed relationships. But hell, they make it so damn difficult! In the fifth grade I remember a girl, Angela Chinoki.”
[CAMERA… CUT to scene of a classroom. A young girl, physically mature for her age with braids and braces on her teeth, smiles.

CUT to scene of Angela offering her lunch to an eleven year old David Faster. Faster looks exactly the same as he does in his twenties except that he is shorter. Angela takes out the contents of her lunch from her brown bag. David throws her sandwich and apple off to one side. He accepts her dessert, a brownie. Angela looks amorously upon Faster as he stuffs his face with the brownie.

CUT to a scene in the school yard behind a portable where Angela has cornered Faster. She forces a kiss upon him.

CUT to scene moments later where Faster is vomiting. He turns to the camera.

FASTER: “Something in the brownie didn’t agree with me.”
[CAMERA… Faster slips off the table in the morgue. He walks over to a table upon which the mortician’s instruments have been placed. He takes several large safety pins and begins to fasten his chest together.

FASTER: “Leaving Hamilton, I did miss the Lancherzs. In the short time that I knew them, they became cherished friends. Their home was my home. Their food was my dinner. Roberto lent me his confidence. Maria took me to her bosom. They were like a second family. Every year I send them a Christmas card though I must confess they do not reciprocate. Perhaps they are not Christians.”
[CAMERA… Faster steps over to the mortician still laying on the floor and begins to disrobe him. Faster puts on the mortician’s clothes.

FASTER: “My stay in Sudbury was in marked contrast to my visit to Hamilton. The Sandman’s organization had not extended itself this far north. I was forced to organize my own itinerary. Sudbury was not what I had expected. I had imagined that everyone lived in tar paper shacks on muddy streets where everyone drove 56 Cadillacs. Instead much of the city was modern. There as a charming mix of office buildings, gas stations, towering smoke stacks now turned into artists’ studios, and fast food chains. There were still monuments in the local parks to the NASA astronauts who had rehearsed their lunar landings there.”
[CAMERA… Fully dressed Faster picks up the body of the mortician and places him on the table. When the mortician begins to revive, Faster picks up one of the pans on a nearby table and hits him over the head. He then covers the mortician in his sheet.

FASTER: “On my first day at William A. Shatner High School, I met the most charming lady.”
[CAMERA… CUT to hallway of high school. David Faster rushes in and knocks down a cleaning lady. Faster apologizes and helps her back on her feet. She is a tall statuesque blond woman. Her white hair is piled neatly on top of her head, kept in place by a beautiful red kerchief.

CUT to a crowded school cafeteria where Faster and the cleaning woman are having a coffee.

CUT to Faster and the cleaning lady sitting on a park bench in front of the school, holding hands and staring dreamily into each other’s eyes. Faster turns and addresses the camera.

FASTER: “Her name was Coral Sing. We had the most pleasant conversation. To my surprise, I discovered that she was from the Czech Republic and had been living in Canada for several years. She had graduated at the top of her class from the University of Prague and had received her medical degree. She had practiced medicine for several years before she emigrated to Canada. Now she was awaiting permission from the provincial government to practice medicine in Canada. I did not have the nerve to admit that I was a mere supply teacher so I told her I was doing research for Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. She was impressed.”

END OF THE FIRST SCENE








SCENE TWO

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

COURTSHIP AND EDUCATION:
THE FIRST NIGHT

FADE to white. CUT to a scene from a science fiction movie about a future city. There are tall buildings that climb into the clouds. Cars and trucks drive on invisible highways in the sky, weaving in and out of the skyscrapers. There is a dome over the city. From a distance the city resembles a beehive. Flying high over the city is a small airplane dragging a long white sign behind it that reads: Mild, isn’t it?

CUT to a typical suburban living room except that it is the display window of a department store. Other windows of the department store have been boarded up. Outside the window a crowd has gathered. A large screen television hangs on one wall.

CUT to scene in a small library. The camera scans across the room. Besides books on the shelves there are books open on desks and a number of busts, one is of Shakespeare, one is of a youthful Bob Dylan. The camera stops at a lounge chair where Faster sits, dressed in a sweater, his legs crossed, smoking a pipe. He smiles at the camera.

FASTER: “Good evening. This evening we have the first in a three part series on romantic love. Romance is not normally associated with the town of Sudbury or with the field of education. This evening we are in for a surprise.”

CUT to first scene in high school where Coral Sing and Faster met. They walk down the hallway of the school

CUT to a broom closet where Faster has thrown Coral Sing to the floor and standing over her, drops his trousers. He turns to the camera.

FASTER: “My initial interest in Coral Sing was predatory. I felt like a beast of the Steppes and she was my prey.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a restaurant. Candle lit dinner. Musicians around the table playing violins. Faster and Coral Sing are at the table staring dreamingly into each other’s eyes. Coral is still wearing her cleaning outfit. The smoke from the candles is irritating Coral’s eyes and she keeps bobbing and weaving trying to avoid their assault. Faster turns to the camera, which he can only address by moving one of the musicians to the side.

FASTER: “I had no intention of falling in love. But then man is a poor prophet of his own life. We went to dinner on a floating restaurant, called Victoria’s Leek. The clam chowder was excellent.”
[CAMERA… CUT to washroom and a series of stalls. In one Faster is on his knees, his head over the toilet, vomiting. In the next stall, Coral Sing is on her knees, her head over the toilet, vomiting.

CUT to a market place. Faster and Sing are examining the various objects for sale by venders.

FASTER: “Later we went to an open market. The ambiance of Victoria’s Leek had been somewhat stifling and we found that the fresh air revived our spirits.”
[CAMERA… Faster becomes quite taken with a small statue of Buddha. Playfully he tosses it to Coral. She drops it. The vender behind them screams in a rage.

CUT to Faster paying the vender for the statue.

CUT to Coral Sing holding a delicate silk scarf up to show Faster. They are too close together and the cigarette in Faster’s mouth burns a hole in the silk. The vender watching them screams in a rage.

CUT to Faster paying the vender for the silk scarf.

CUT to Coral Sing tripping and falling to the ground. Faster falls over her dragging a table of glass figurines down to the ground.

CUT to Faster paying the vender for the glass figurines. Faster turns to the camera.

FASTER: “While we browsed through the market, Coral told me about herself. She had studied in a convent in Prague for several years before she was accepted in medical school. Her specialty was post-modernism with specific reference to fall of the communist novel. I loved her accent. It was Asian. The convent she had been brought up in was run by nuns from Vietnam.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot of Faster and Sing sitting on a park bench. They occupy one half of the bench. At the other end of the bench a wino sits huddled over to one side clutching his bottle close to his breast, afraid that the couple beside him might try and mug him. Faster addresses the camera. The wino takes an interest in what Faster has to say and is confused by who Faster is addressing.

FASTER: “Structure, Coral maintained, was all important. What we perceived as order in our thought was actually a misinterpretation of random order. Everything was a coincidence. Man was being harnessed by machines to develop even smarter machines. Homo sapiens were the mid-wives of the next stage of evolution. Sounded like gibberish to me. Still I hung on every word like a love sick teenager.”
WINO: “Who the hell are you talking to?”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster and Sing walking hand-in-hand along the sidewalk in downtown Sudbury. The wino is falling close behind them.

CUT to the front of a hotel where Faster and Sing close their eyes to kiss goodnight. They bang their heads together. The wino stands off to one side. Holding her head, Sing departs, stepping into the hotel. The wino looks at Faster, smiles and decides to follow Sing into the hotel.

CUT to Faster smiling with a lovesick expression on his face. As he turns to leave he runs into another older couple who are entering the hotel. Faster falls on top of the woman who lies on the ground, her legs spread open. The gentleman drags Faster off the woman. Faster climbs to his feet and attempts to help the woman to her feet. The gentleman grabs Faster again, which leads Faster to drop the woman once again. Faster yells at the gentleman and points to the woman on the ground. The gentleman pushes Faster aside and bends over to help the woman up. Faster reacts by pushing the gentleman who falls onto the woman. Faster turns and runs.


END OF THE SECOND SCENE

SCENE THREE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

COURTSHIP AND EDUCATION:
THE SECOND DAY

FADE to white. CUT to a scene from a science fiction movie about a future city. There are tall buildings that climb into the clouds. Cars and trucks drive on invisible highways in the sky, weaving in and out of the skyscrapers. There is a dome over the city. From a distance the city resembles a beehive. Flying high over the city is a small airplane dragging a long white sign behind it that reads: Too mild for you?

CUT to a typical suburban living room except that it is the display window of a department store. Other windows of the department store have been boarded up. Outside the window a crowd has gathered. A large screen television hangs on one wall.

CUT to scene in a small library. The camera scans across the room. Besides books on the shelves there are books open on desks and a number of busts, one is of Shakespeare, one is of a middle-aged Bob Dylan. The camera stops at a lounge chair where Faster sits, dressed in a sweater, his legs crossed, smoking a pipe. He smiles at the camera.

FASTER: “Good evening. This evening we have the second in a three part series on romantic love. Romance is not normally associated with the town of Sudbury or with the field of education. This evening we are in for a surprise.”

FADE to white. CUT to Faster carrying a picnic basket and a blanket. Walking hand-in-hand with Faster is Coral Sing, they pass through a gravel pit spotted with picnic benches and cement barbecues. There is no grass. Occasionally there is a sign that reads NO BALL PLAYING or KEEP OFF THE GRASS. Some distance behind them a third person, a wino from the previous scene, follows. Finally they settle down on a small hill and begin to unpack the picnic basket which includes sandwiches and a bottle of wine, paper cups and sun tan lotion. In the distance two tall stacks spew out a black smoke that gives the day the look of being overcast. Faster smoothes out the blanket and addresses the camera.

FASTER: “Coral told me about her mother. She was in the theatre. The company she belonged to had been touring Czech villages with a version of the musical Oklahoma. Somehow they got mixed up with the Russian tanks pouring into Czechoslovakia. One of the Russian generals took a liking to Cora’s mother and she was impregnated.”
[CAMERA… Cut to Faster and Coral Sing passed out on their blanket. The wino has wandered up to their picnic sight and helped himself to the remainder of their sandwiches and wine. He then steps over to a nearby picnic and lies down to have a nap. Faster sits up and addresses the camera.

FASTER: “We must have fallen asleep because when we awoke it was quite dark and had cooled off. I offered Coral my jacket and we made our way out of the park. Later that evening we took a cab to a nightclub called The Palace.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a nightclub where Faster and Coral Sing are dancing. Behind them on the dance floor is the wino also dancing. He is alone.

FASTER: “There was a wonderful floor show. A 50’s singing group called The Ink Spots sang their greatest hits.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Faster ordering another bottle of win. Behind Faster and Coral, the wino sits with a magnum of champagne. There are two beautiful young women with him. They are laughing and drinking.

CUT to Faster and Miss Sing stepping out of a cab. Faster is noticeably drunk. He has his arm slung around Miss Sing’s shoulder.

CUT to Faster and Miss Sing staggering across the lobby.

CUT to Faster and Miss Sing in the elevator. Faster pushes all the buttons of the elevator. He and Miss Sing are laughing hysterically. Most of the other riders in the elevator are stone faced. At the back of the elevator is the wino, each arm around the young beauties from the nightclub, each young woman holding a bottle of champagne.

CUT to Faster and Miss Sing outside her hotel room. Miss Sing opens her door then turns and gives Faster a peck on the cheek. Before Faster can react, Miss Sing is inside and the door is closed. Faster stands still head bowed. Behind him the wino and the two beauties are shuffling into a neighbouring room.

CUT to Faster waiting for an elevator. He is moving from foot to foot. Impatient he heads for the exit door.

CUT to Faster staggering down the stairs.

CUT to Faster rushing out of the hotel. He looks around and races for a clump of bushes.

CUT to look of relieve as Faster stands urinating behind the bush

CUT to CLOSE UP of doorman looking at Faster in bush

CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster. He turns and looks at camera, shrugging his shoulders.

FASTER: “I had to go!”


END OF THE THIRD SCENE







SCENE FOUR

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

COURTSHIP AND EDUCATION:
THE THIRD DAY

FADE to white. CUT to a scene from a science fiction movie about a future city. There are tall buildings that climb into the clouds. Cars and trucks drive on invisible highways in the sky, weaving in and out of the skyscrapers. There is a dome over the city. From a distance the city resembles a beehive. Flying high over the city is a small airplane dragging a long white sign behind it that reads: Mild beyond belief.

CUT to a typical suburban living room except that it is the display window of a department store. Other windows of the department store have been boarded up. Outside the window a crowd has gathered. A large screen television hangs on one wall.

CUT to scene in a small library. The camera scans across the room. Besides books on the shelves there are books open on desks and a number of busts, one is of Shakespeare, one is of an elderly Bob Dylan. The camera stops at a lounge chair where Faster sits, dressed in a sweater, his legs crossed, smoking a pipe. He smiles at the camera.

FASTER: “Good evening. This evening we have the final part in our series on romantic love. Romance is not normally associated with the town of Sudbury or with the field of education. This evening we are in for a surprise.”

[CAMERA… CUT to David Faster and Coral Sing walking hand-in-hand through empty parking lots, down streets with shops boarded up, over rolling hills of barren rock, down beaches cluttered with garbage and dead fish, passed smoke stacks spewing out their black smoke.

CUT to CLOSE UP of David Faster.

FASTER: “We spent all our days together. I missed several teaching assignments. I picked up my messages at the hotel desk and filed them away. I asked Coral about her father. She knew very little about him except that after the invasion of Czechoslovakia he was posted in the Gulag. There he wrote a best selling novel.”
[CAMERA… Cut to Faster and Miss Sing holding hands standing on a hill of dirt watching the sun set. Nearby several astronauts in space suits have gathered to play golf. Their caddy is the wino from a previous scene. Faster turns to the camera.

FASTER: “At some point during the day I managed to capture Coral’s little hand in mine. I could feel the tremor of her pulse. At times Coral’s hand flew off to point out some interesting sight but it always returned to the nest of my grasp. Too exhausted to go out to dinner, we returned to Coral’s apartment and ordered some Kentucky Fried Chicken.”
[CAMERA… scene in hotel room. Faster is in his underwear shirt, sitting in a chair, a bucket of chicken in his lap, a can of beer in his hand, watching television. Coral has her hair in curlers. She is wearing a housecoat and sitting on the bed painting her toes.

FASTER: “After dinner, Coral excused herself. She wanted to take a shower and retire early. So I retired to my room and watched an interesting documentary on the Apollo Space Missions.”
[CAMERA… Faster is walking down the hall from Coral’s room. Coral is standing in the doorway. The wino has slid up to Coral’s room. Coral and the wino kiss and retreat to her room.

CUT to Faster standing outside the hotel near a bush. The doorman is standing behind the bush urinating.

CLOSE UP of doorman. He shrugs his shoulders.

DOORMAN: “I had to go.”

END OF THE FOURTH SCENE

SCENE FIVE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

TELEXES AND TELEGRAMS

CUT to sub-title:
ORIGINAL TEXT OF RON HOWL’S TELEX
Fade to white… CUT to the office of Ron Howl. It is a replica of the Oval Office. Ron Howl sits behind the desk, an American flag behind each shoulder, addressing the camera as if he were the president of the United States.

HOWL: “Faster, what the hell are you doing in Sudbury? You were not authorized to make such a journey. You do not, I repeat, you do not have an unlimited expense account. This was supposed to be an exploratory trip to… explore the possible educational markets for Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. It was not first prize in a hospital lottery. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, would you let us know what other extravaganzas you have planned. And apparently you have forgotten your major task. In fact you haven’t even bothered to check your mailbox at your hotels. If you had checked you would have discovered that there was a package to be delivered at each of your supply teacher assignments… I can’t describe how disappointed Bill Marvellous feels about your work. It was Mr. Marvellous who recommended you for the position you presently hold. The other day I saw the man weeping. Oh he tried to hide it but I could see that he was wracked with grief. How could his faith be so carelessly abused… Get your act together lover boy! Yours truly, Ron Howl.”
[CAMERA… CUT to title
FINAL TEXT OF RON HOWL’S TELEX
FADE to white
CUT… The scene is a used-car lot called Honest Ted. Ron Howl is dressed up in a cowboy suit. As he talks, he moves around the cars, kicking the wheels, pounding the hoods with his hand, selling his message with enthusiasm and urgency.

HOWL: “Get off your ass! Send a detailed account of your expenses and your activities. Your desk has been moved to the stock room. The next move is into the parking lot. You think that all of this is going to go away. If I don’t see a response and an explanation by Monday morning I’ll go up there and ring your neck myself. Howl.”
[CAMERA… CUT to title
FASTER’S RESPONSE TO HOWL’S TELEX
FADE to white
CUT to crowded church where the priest is giving a sermon Faster is sitting in a bench with Coral Sing. He turns to the camera.

FASTER: “It’s been a pleasant morning here in Sudbury. The sun shines and so does my heart. Father Versuvio is giving a stirring sermon on the prodigal son reminding all of us not to lose faith in those we love. I think you should try meditation, Mr. Howl. It’s wonderful for the digestion. Walking around Sudbury I have seen many opportunities for Marvellous Enterprises. The citizenry is open and warm and receptive to all kinds of suggestions on how to improve their lives. I could use a little more money to prime the pump as they say. Well now, I best get back to the sermon. The congregation has been very patient with me so far and I don’t want to abuse their trust. Yours sincerely and with fond memories, David Faster.”
END OF THE FIFTH SCENE

SCENE SIX

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

THE BEER HALL PUTSCH

CUT to… a crowd of people are mingling about the front of a large tavern called The Munich House. Many of the people walking about are bald headed young men in brown shirts. Several policemen are chatting off to one side. A Canadian Broadcasting Corporation truck is parked across the street. The reporter for the CBC is an enthusiastic young woman with shoulder length hair. She is going about the crowd interviewing people. The cameraman is also young, with a beard and thin black hair uncombed and falling carelessly over his shoulders.

CUT to first interview. A distinguished older gentleman. He is tall, slender with a manicured moustache. His hair is neatly cut and combed straight back. He is wearing a gray two piece suit with several metals hanging from his lapel.

REPORTER: “Sir, could you comment on the recent violence during political demonstrations at the Munich House last evening?”
ELDERLY GENTLEMAN: “I was of course outraged. What had begun as a peaceful assemblage of citizenry was allowed to disintegrate into a complete free-for-all. I have no doubt that there was some subterfuge involved in this catastrophe.”
REPORTER: “Are you suggesting, sir, that her Majesty’s government was in any way involved in the events of last evening?”
ELDERLY GENTLEMAN: “That is exactly what I mean. Who benefits from the perception that we in the North cannot govern ourselves with civility? Queen’s Park of course.”
REPORTER: “How do you think this most recent event will affect the political climate of the North?”
ELDERLY GENTLEMAN: “How do you mean, affect?”
REPORTER: “Do you think it will inflame emotions leaving no middle ground for compromise?”
ELDERLY GENTLEMAN: “I believe it will lead to revolution. Is that blunt enough for you, young lady?”
[CAMERA… CUT to next person interviewed. She is a short rotund matronly woman in her forties. She is wearing a bright orange dress and a kerchief over her head covering hair rollers. On her feet she is wearing a pair of Nike running shoes.

MATRON: “I know what you media types will make of it. You’ll make us look like a band of ravaging savages, which we are not, I might add. It was a peaceful demonstration. People were marching to express their democratic rights. And then that man got up on stage and started to express his views on the north. Who asked him? And the language he used. I had my children there.”
[CAMERA… CUT to next person interviewed. She is a young lady dressed quite conservatively in a long gray skirt and a white blouse. She wears thick black glasses with her hair tied up on her head in a bun. She speaks with a low almost inaudible voice.

YOUNG WOMAN: “I’m very nervous. I’ve never actually been on television before.”
REPORTER: “You’ll do fine. Now, I understand that you were near the podium when the violence broke out.”
YOUNG WOMAN: “Yes, I was.”
REPORTER: “In your own words, could you tell us what you saw?”
YOUNG WOMAN: “This mother fucker…”
[CAMERA… CUT to next person to be interviewed. He is a young man with short black curly hair. Handsome and aware of it, he keeps smiling into the camera. He is wearing a university jacket.

REPORTER: “I understand that you were one of the first persons to rush the stage. Could you tell us what events precipitated your reaction?”
UNIVERSITY STUDENT: “As you know, Mandy, the demonstration left the Munich House and had wound its way through most of the downtown area, reaching its climax at City Hall.”
REPORTER: “How do you know my name?”
UNIVERSITY STUDENT: “The mayor got up to make a short speech. About half an hour into his talk this guy climbs up on the stage and takes the mike from the mayor and starts to berate the crowd, telling us that we are lucky to living in a country like Canada, and that we should all go home and pray that the Premier doesn’t cut back on our welfare checks. That got a lot of us pretty upset. But you know what really lit the fuse, Mandy…”
REPORTER: “Did someone tell you my name?”
UNIVERSITY STUDENT: “What really lit the fuse was when he said that none of us would be allowed in Toronto without a bath, a haircut, and a new tailor.”
[CAMERA… CUT to next person to be interviewed. He is the mayor of Sudbury, a small diminutive man in a brown two piece suit. Balding, he has a comb over which the slight breeze is blowing about. He is constantly catching his hair during the interview and pressing it down to his head.

MAYOR: “Thank you, Miss Wesly, for allowing us this opportunity to respond to this most unfortunate incident. The peoples of Northern Ontario are a peace loving… people. We do not condone nor do we… condone any form of violence. The violence was precipitated by this young man’s comments to the crowd. We have discovered from reliable sources that he is an agent from a government run corporation of the South. He may in fact be a paid agent of the Provincial Government.”
REPORTER: “That is a very serious allegation, Mr. Mayor.”
MAYOR: “Miss Wesly, we do not make wild allegations. The gentleman in question, we are led to believe, is an employee of Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. His name is David Faster. We are led to believe that he is accompanied by a Coral Sing. Her affiliation has not yet been established. We have instructed the Chief of Police to apprehend said Faster if only for his own protection. The hour is dark. The hopes of the North have been flayed. It is a sensitive situation. Our investigation has not yet established a motivation for this young man’s actions but it is clear to us that he was sent by the government in Toronto to incite violence in the North and to stain our noble and just campaign for independence. We shall not be…”
[CAMERA… cut to CLOSE UP of CBC reporter

REPORTER: “Violence has taken its first baby steps in this northern enclave. Who knows how this child of rustic manners and hostile weather conditions will develop? We can only hope that recent gun registration will inhibit this rabid thirst for hostility. This is Mandy Wesly reporting from Sudbury.”
[CAMERA… CUT to scene in street where David Faster and Coral Sing are running from an angry mob.

CUT to… Faster and Sing continue to run. The crowd pursuing them has dwindled to half a dozen people.

CUT to… Faster and Sing continue to run through a park. Only three angry Northerners are still in pursuit

CUT to… scene of astronaut in space suit teeing up a golf ball.

CUT to … one angry Northerner is hit on the head by a golf ball and falls. Then a second Northerner is hit. Finally the third and last Northerner is cut down by a golf ball.

CUT to… Faster and Coral Sing are still running.

END OF SCENE SIX

END OF 8TH EPISODE

Blood or Taxes

THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Seven

Blood or Taxes

INTRODUCTION

[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.

[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.

“Mr. Faster. Today you have been assigned to St.Mare, an alternative school. You take the number 7 bus to Brink Street, transfer to the number 5A and take that to Main. Look for a number 123 and take that to Shaw Avenue. When you get off the bus walk up Shaw Avenue two blocks, make a right, walk 1 block, turn right, walk half a block, pass through McGregors Park until you get to Bell Street. Walk down Bell Street three blocks until you get to Bush Boulevaard. Turn right. You should be able to see the school from there. Or take a cab.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:
“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995

SCENE ONE


[CAMERA… LONG SHOT… Dark wet morning just before dawn in the rolling countryside. In the valleys there are pockets of mist. The odd chirping of birds can be heard. In the distance, cattle are bawling. From the distance there is a faint sound of automobile engines. A line of cars and vans move along a curling country road. There is the sound of tires moving through mud.

CLOSE UPS of car tires wading and sliding through the muddy country road.

LONG SHOT… a startled flock of birds rise out of long grass along side the road.

MEDIUM SHOT… line of motor vehicles turns into a driveway. Cars stop at gate. Light rain. An elderly gentleman in a raincoat with a pronounced limp opens the gate. Cars move through the gate.

PAN from cars moving through gate to a large five story building in the distance.

CUT…LONG SHOT… a large dining hall where a camera crew are busy setting up their equipment. A number of nuns in habits are surveying the proceedings. A wooden chair is set up in the middle of the stark empty hall. From a side entrance, Ellen Ellery steps into the hall. She is dressed in a very dull gray dress and white blouse. She walks passed a table where she is offered a cup of coffee. She shakes her head.

CUT to title
ELLEN ELLERY’S CONFESSION

CUT to CLOSE UP… Ellen’s face. She has no makeup on.

LONG SHOT… Ellen sitting in the wooden chair in the middle of the hall. Members of the camera crew are running around making last minute changes.

CLOSE UP… A nervous smile flickers across Ellen’s face. A few beads of sweat form on her forehead.

ELLEN: “Sometimes I have black outs. Times, places, things, people seem to disappear into a black hole inside me, lost forever. The doctors say that my amnesia is a result of my drinking, and the need to repress painful experiences. Father Mackenzie attributes my memory loss to God’s mercy.”
[CAMERA… Sudden jerk with camera so that it appears as if there has been a rough cut in the film.

ELLEN: “I remember nothing before my twenty first birthday. I know who I am. It’s down there on my library card. To me, it’s just another name out of the telephone directory. I know what high school I went to, but I don’t remember one day spent there. In my purse are pictures of my parents and my brothers and sisters. They are strangers to me. My past is everything I can collect on paper. I am the offspring of red tape. The clearest early memory I have is of staring into the deep blue eyes of David Faster and thinking how terribly ugly he is… I remember how impressed he was by my credentials. I was rather impressed myself. It was the first time either of us had heard them.”
[CAMERA… There is a break. One of the nuns has come up to whisper something in Ellen’s ear.

ELLEN: “I know that Mother Superior has volunteered my full cooperation. It is difficult for me. Since I joined the Order as a novitiate, I have had to struggle with my emotions. The whirlwind is in the thorn trees. Please forgive me. Does anyone have an aspirin?”
[CAMERA… There is an other break. During the next section there is a series of short clips to illustrate Ellen’s recollections. CUT to a CLOSE –UP of Ellen.

ELLEN: “David and I went out to dinner. I remember David making a remark about being followed. It was an odd introduction to each other.”
[CAMERA… Faster and Ellen are in a restaurant. Occasionally men pass by their table carrying briefcases. Ellen turns from Faster to the camera. Faster looks confused.

ELLEN: “Who could believe a story about being followed by men in plaid suits. That’s what he told me. Plaid suits? Where did that come from? It’s not easy eating with a paranoiac. You never know what they’re going to do with their knife. I realize now how important it is in life to pay attention to details. That’s how I found Jesus. I ran into a church to get out of a downpour.”
[CAMERA… LONG SHOT… Inside a church Ellen is wandering up the aisle.

CUT to shot of Christ on his cross.

CUT to Ellen looking up at cross.

CUT to Christ’s forehead. Dripping from the crown of thorns are beads of eyes, all looking down at Ellen.

CUT to Ellen’s forehead where a crown of thorns have been laid. Blood dips down her forehead.

CUT back to hall with Ellen sitting on her chair.

ELLEN: “What I learned was that we are all being watched. There is not a single thought, no matter how trivial, which God is not aware. We are being watched, and judged, by Him. God is the original version of Big Brother.”
[CAMERA… Ellen wipes tears from her eyes. She looks up to the ceiling.

CUT to Ellen in restaurant again. Her mouth is full. She looks down at the camera, which is shooting up at her from the floor.

ELLEN: “I’m sorry. I’m meandering. Sometimes my mind takes strolls and gets lost. We went up to David’s motel room. We talked. We smoked. We sat in these two chairs in David’s room and looked out the window.”
[CAMERA… CUT to shot from behind Faster and Ellery. Across the way from their room in another motel room, two people, still on their feet, are making love. Their curtains have not been drawn. The woman climbs up the man still standing and mounts him.

ELLEN: “David took my hand in his and squeezed it. He placed it in his lap.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Ellen composing herself in her chair. A nun has stepped in front of the camera and whispers in Ellen’s ear.

CUT to Ellen in her chair alone again.

ELLEN: “I was holding a cigarette at the time. David jumped out of his chair, dancing around and cursing. He rushed into the washroom. I passed out. The next few days are a blur. David took me out to dinner again. In his own way, David was quite kind to me. But he got on my nerves. Somehow he got it into his head that we were having a torrid affair. He was so intense and needy. After I met David, I began to have these horrible nightmares about going to the dentist. There is a blank in my memory. I recall waking up on an airplane. I saw David stepping out of the airplane and I followed him. Another blank. Next I recall being introduced to the most incredibly beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a scene in a bar where Ellen is being introduced to Roberto Lancherz by David Faster. In Ellen’s eyes David has suddenly shrunk to the size of a small child.

CUT to a CLOSE UP of Lancherz. He is smiling. His teeth sparkle. This shot goes on for some time.

CUT to a scene in a restaurant where Ellen, Faster, Lancherz and his wife Maria are seated at a table. Ellen sticks her head under the table where the camera is located.

ELLEN: “My heart melted. That evening David and I, Roberto and his wife Maria went out to dinner. Maria was a tyrant. I couldn’t believe the way she talked to her husband. Later that evening I heard a knock at my hotel door.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Ellen opening her hotel door.

ELLEN: “I was exhausted and asked David to go away.”
[CAMERA… Roberto Lancherz steps inside, closing the door behind him. The two embrace. Lancherz picks up Ellen and throws her on the bed. He begins to loosen his tie.

CUT to Ellen in her chair in the hall.

ELLEN: “Roberto had an erectile dysfunction. Every evening it was the same. Each of us ripping off our clothes and Roberto unable to produce. I was so frustrated. Roberto began to use fruit from the courtesy fruit basket. I got tired of copulating with bananas and pears. It made me feel like an electric blender. I began to despise Roberto and to verbally abuse him in the same manner as I had witnessed his wife Maria abuse him. How could someone so perfect be so flawed?”
[CAMERA… CUT to scene in hotel room. Lancherz is sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to Ellen. He is crying. Ellen is sitting behind him. She is flicking the channels on the television with a remote and eating an apple. She looks at camera.

ELLEN: “I received a telegram from Paul Man. I instinctively knew he was my employer. Call it woman’s intuition. Paul said his mother was having a birthday party and I had been ordered to attend. It was a good excuse to get away from Roberto and David and Hamilton. All three were becoming dreadful bores.”

END OF FIRST SCENE

SCENE TWO
Shot of opening title:

GOING THROUGH CUSTOMS

FADE to white. CUT to the inside of an airplane. Ellen is departing. The camera follows her as if it were another passenger. She exits the plane and walks down a long hallway. The hallways exits into a large room where her bags wait at a carousel. Ellen picks up her bag and exits through a door. She notices that there are no passengers in front of her. She tries to return through the door but it is locked. She continues down the hall. She moves from hall to hall, all of which are empty. She puts her bag down and looks around. She chooses a door and opens it. She steps into a room where passengers from a flight from Amsterdam have assembled. She follows this crowd of people down another hall. The passengers line up to pass through customs.

CUT to Ellen handing an official her passport.

ELLEN: “Is there something wrong?”
1ST OFFICIAL: “Wrong, madam?”
ELLEN: “You had me worried.”
1ST OFFICIAL: “And why is that madam?”
ELLEN: “You know. Like when a cop stops your car. You automatically feel as if you’ve done something wrong even though you are quite innocent.”
1ST OFFICIAL: “Could you be more specific, madam?”
ELLEN: “It was just the tone of your voice. I got lost and…”
1ST OFFICIAL: “The tone of my voice?”
ELLEN: “I’m a little confused.”
1ST OFFICIAL: “Would madam have a driver’s license?”
ELLEN: “I don’t drive. I just never got around to it. My friends always had wheels so there didn’t seem to be any… Why are you asking me for my driver’s license? Everyone else is only being asked for their passport. I’m lucky I’ve got that on me.”
[CAMERA… The 1st Official calls a second official over to his table. They whisper something to each other. The 1st Official’s eyes keep darting over to Ellen. The 2nd Official glances Ellen’s way and shakes his head.

1ST OFFICIAL: “Madam would please follow Mr. Wallace into the next room.”
ELLEN: “Is something wrong?”
1ST OFFICIAL: “Madam would please take her suitcase into the other room with Mr. Wallace.”
[CAMERA… The camera follows Ellen who follows the 2nd Official into another room. He points to a table where Ellen puts her bag. The 2nd Official examines Ellen’s passport once again.

ELLEN: “Is there something wrong?”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Nothing to worry about, madam.”
ELLEN: “There must be something wrong or you wouldn’t have dragged me in here. Is there something wrong with my passport?”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Please open up your suitcase, madam.”
ELLEN: “I don’t see why this is necessary.”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam!”
[CAMERA… The 2nd Official browses through Ellen’s clothes, his fingers moving through her lingerie. He points to a package.

ELLEN: “It’s a gift. I’m going to a birthday part. It’s a plant. An African Violet. I wasn’t going to wrap it but then that would take away the element of surprise. You see I put a little hole in the wrapping paper so that I could water it.”
[CAMERA… the 2nd Official puts the package on a second table. He continues to browse through her bag.

ELLEN: “You can’t take that package. It’s a present. I can’t go to a party without…”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam does not appreciate the gravity of the present situation.”
ELLEN: “Situation? What situation? You said there was nothing to worry about.”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam, your passport has not been stamped. There is no record that you ever left the country. And you are carrying contraband across an international border.”
ELLEN: “Oh, that! You won’t believe what happened to me. You see, I never actually left Canada. This is all a terrible mistake.”
[CAMERA… The 2nd Official picks up a phone and talks to someone. Ellen reaches into her purse and takes out a package of cigarettes and begins to light one up.

2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam will extinguish the cigarette.”
[CAMERA… The 2nd Official points to a sign on the wall forbidding smoking. Ellen looks for a place to put out her cigarette and finding nothing drops the cigarette on the floor and grinds it out with her shoe. The floor is carpeted and begins to smoke. Ellen starts stamping the floor. When she has succeeded putting out the smoking carpet, a great black hole has been left in the rug. She looks apprehensively at the official who has his back turned to her. He hasn’t noticed the smoking carpet. When the official puts down the phone he smiles at Ellen but says nothing. A few moments later a 3rd Official, a large matronly woman, steps into the room.

2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam will please follow Miss Schmidt.”
ELLEN: “Have I done something wrong? I can explain everything. I can. Really.”
2ND OFFICIAL: “Madam can pick up her bags later.”
[CAMERA… Reluctantly Ellen follows the matronly Miss Schmidt into a third room. In the middle of the room is a long bench with stirrups on either side. Miss Schmidt hands Ellen a robe made out of paper.

MISS SCHMIDT: “Madam will please remove her clothes.”
ELLEN: “I will not! This is outrageous! Why on earth would I want to remove my clothes?”
MISS SCHMIDT: “If madam has nothing to hide then madam shouldn’t mind removing her clothes.”
ELLEN: “And if I refuse.”
MISS SCHMIDT: “Would madam prefer that we bring two male officials in to assist the disrobing.”
ELLEN: “But why? There has been a terrible mistake. I just arrived from Hamilton and took the wrong exit ending up with these people from Amsterdam. I had my passport with me so I thought that I would just go through customs. Just tell me how to get back to the hall for the flight from Hamilton and everything will be back…”
MISS SCHMIDT: “Madam!”
ELLEN: “Could you at least turn around?”
MISS SCHMIDT: “We don’t have all day, madam”
[CAMERA… Ellen begins to disrobe.

CUT to face of Miss Schmidt. She smiles for several minutes. It is obvious that she is enjoying Ellen disrobing though the camera only sees Miss Schmidt’s reaction..

CUT to shot of Ellen standing with the paper robe on.

CUT to Miss Schmidt who takes out a rubber glove and snaps it on.

MISS SCHMIDT: “Now, if madam will please lie across the table, stomach down.”
ELLEN: “You are going to do an internal examination!”
MISS SCHMIDT: “Yes. Don’t worry madam. I have small hands.”
ELLEN: “Please.”
MISS SCHMIDT: “Over the bench, madam! And spread them!”

END OF SECOND SCENE

SCENE THREE
Shot of opening title:

SENDING LETTERS

FADE to white. CUT to Ellen Ellery departing from a hotel. She moves quickly through the streets until she enters a post office. There are a couple of persons ahead of her in the cue. After a brief wait Ellen steps up to the wicket. The attending clerk is Lewis in disguise. His hair is dyed jet black and slicked flat on his head to one side. He has a thin pencil moustache put on with a black ink marker. Lewis has a strong accent that slips back and forth between Irish and French.

ELLEN: “Good afternoon.”
LEWIS: “And a fine afternoon it is Miss. A fine afternoon indeed. Sparkling one might say. You can almost feel the carbonation in the air.”
ELLEN: “I’d like to send this letter to someone in Hamilton. Could I send it registered mail?”
LEWIS: “Important, madam?”
ELLEN: “I would like to get it there as soon as possible.”
LEWIS: “I can see by the flush in your cheeks that a mystery lurks beneath the white satin sheets of your envelope. Ah, the sweet smell of romance. Would that I were in the full bloom of my youth once again. I suppose that madam has seasoned the letter with an exotic bouquet…”
ELLEN: “No.”
LEWIS: “Anglais! Blood does not course through the veins of the Teutonic races. No, course isn’t the word. What is the word? Bustle? No. Imbecile! Bustle sounds like the rush hour. Love making must never be rushed. It must be savored like a good cigar… no. Not like a cigar. Cigar is the wrong image. So vulgar. Love must never be vulgar. It must linger...”
ELLEN: “I’m not English.”
LEWIS: “How can a nation that has produced a Byron, a Shelley, Keats, Donne produce such sobriety in their love making? As you have no doubts guessed, lassie, I’m something of a poet myself. No Rod McKuen mind you, but I can turn a naughty phrase to my advantage. No doubt, you have heard of me - James Acorn, Milton’s smarter brother.”
ELLEN: “I’m sorry.”
LEWIS: “I’ve had over a hundred poems published. You must have read one of them.”
ELLEN: “I don’t read much poetry.”
LEWIS: “Well, that explains it. You cannot be held accountable for the state of education in this country. At any rate you must add a little perfume to the letter. It’s the details that mean so much in such matters. I have a bottle of roll-on deodorant here that works in a pinch.”
ELLEN: “It’s not a love letter.”
LEWIS: “Not a love letter! What’s the rush then? It’s not political, is it? We cannot allow the mails to be used to disseminate ideological tracts. The world needs to listen to the wisdom of the bards not the bark of guns.”
ELLEN: “It’s not political.”
LEWIS: “Please accept my dearest condolences. A dear one has passed beyond this wretched sphere. Do not despair, my dear. The cold of the grave cannot steal the glimmer… No, that’s not the word. Imbecile! The light that is inserted? Injected? Imbued? No, no, no! God, it’s so frustrating since they banned my thesaurus from the work place. Jack over there is allowed to leaf through his little red book of postal regulations but I am not allowed my Roget!”
ELLEN: “No one has died.”
LEWIS: “A child is born. In the end, they break your heart…”
ELLEN: “No child.”
LEWIS: “No child?”
ELLEN: “Nope.”
LEWIS: “Pornography? Five years…”
ELLEN: “It is not pornography.”
LEWIS: “Madam, you are playing with me. What is in this envelope?”
ELLEN: “It’s a change of address card.”
LEWIS: “Madam! You take me for a fool. I have worked in her Majesty’s service for twenty five years and in all that time no has ever sent a change of address card by Registered Mail.”
ELLEN: “Nevertheless…”
LEWIS: “I won’t send it.”
ELLEN: “You must.”
LEWIS: “I will not!”
ELLEN: “Okay, if you insist, it’s a love letter.”
LEWIS: “Ah… Thought you could pull a fast one over on James Acorn. Now let’s get that roll-on deodorant out and we’ll…”

END OF THIRD SCENE

SCENE FOUR
Shot of opening title:

DISCUSSIONS ABOUT WORK

FADE to white. CUT to a birthday party in a large stately home. There is a large crowd of people in a large hall. In the middle of the room, Ellen Ellery looks quite distressed. She is making her way across the room toward a tall man, Paul Man, standing by a window.

CUT to bathroom where Paul Man and Ellen are talking. The door is open. The camera attempts to peak into the bathroom. Paul Man closes the door in the face of the camera.

CUT to shot of bathroom from outside through the bathroom window. Although nothing can be heard, Paul Man and Ellen Ellery are quite animated.

CUT to shot of bathroom from inside the toilet. The seat is up.

PAUL MAN: “We can’t talk long. Mother will start looking for us and I don’t want her to find us in here together. She’ll start asking questions.”
ELLEN: “How could you do it?”
PAUL MAN: “Do what, Ellen?”
ELLEN: “Don’t give me that shit!”
PAUL MAN: “What!”
ELLEN: “Please!”
PAUL MAN: “Are we going to play charades? What are you talking about?”
ELLEN: “When I first got involved in this business, I was told that no one would get hurt. Now, I find I’m involved in murder.”
PAUL MAN: “Ellen, could you keep your voice down. I told you before, father never allows business to be discussed at home.”
ELLEN: “I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This is not business! Do you read me, Paul? This is murder! How could I have gotten myself mixed up in this?”
PAUL MAN: “Ellen. Calm down. There’s no reason to be hysterical.”
ELLEN: “You murdered Roberto and Maria Lancherz!”
PAUL MAN: “The papers described their deaths as a murder – suicide.”
ELLEN: “Don’t insult my intelligence! Did Roberto drive over Maria three times then turn the car on himself?”
PAUL MAN: “Suddenly you get upset by the death of a couple of sleaze bags. I don’t see you leading parades protesting all those deaths in…”
ELLEN: “They were friends of mine!”
PAUL MAN: “You slept with them?”
ELLEN: “I won’t honour that remark with…”
PAUL MAN: “You’re supposed to be my fiancé. Play the part!”
ELLEN: “I feel like I hardly know you. Did you…?”
PAUL MAN: “No!”
ELLEN: “Was it your father?”
[CAMERA…. Paul Man flushes the toilet. His response cannot be heard. The picture gets blurry before it clears.

PAUL MAN: “Will you never understand business? The Lancherzs were skimming money off the top. We’ve known about it for some time. Perhaps if we weren’t so strapped for cash, we might have continued to look the other way. Interest rates have been climbing and the dollar took a one cent plunge last week. We’re stretched to the limits.”
ELLEN: “And so you murdered them!”
PAUL MAN: “It was a purely business decision.”
ELLEN: “I’m sure that will make the Lancherzs rest easy.”
PAUL MAN: “Tell me about David Faster.”
ELLEN: “You leave David alone! He’s got nothing to do with this.”
PAUL MAN: “He was a friend of the Lancherzs. They talked to him. How much does he know?”
ELLEN: “Don’t!”
PAUL MAN: “What is your relationship with Faster?”
ELLEN: “That’s what this is all about. It’s not business at all. It’s all about you, Paul.”
[CAMERA… Paul Man flushes the toilet. The picture blurs once again. There is a knock at the door. It is Paul Man’s mother on the other side of the door.

PAUL’S MOTHER: “Is that you in there, Paul? Please hurry! Mommy has to go number one.”
END OF FOURTH SCENE

SCENE FIVE
Shot of opening title:

CRIME SCENE

FADE to white. CUT to a parking lot in an industrial area. LONG SHOT of area from a helicopter. Cop cars and an ambulance are huddled together. Barricades have been set up with yellow police lines encircling the lot. There are no civilian onlookers.

CUT to MEDIUM SHOT from ground of photographer taking pictures of Lancherzs on the ground. A uniformed cop and two detectives are standing nearby looking at the bodies.

CUT to CLOSE UPS of the cops talking.

UNIFORM COP: “The ambulance attendants want to know if they can take away the bodies.”
1ST DETECTIVE: “What’s the rush?”
UNIFORM COP: “They want to get back to the station to watch the Raptor game.”
2ND DETECTIVE: “None of us want to be out here, tonight. Especially these two on the ground.”
[CAMERA… Uniformed policeman moves away. 1st Detective crouches and looks at Roberto Lancherz.

1ST DETECTIVE: “A handsome man. What was he doing here with this broad?”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Murder-suicide?”
1ST DETECTIVE: “It’ll do for now.”
[CAMERA… 1st Detective lifts a package of cigarettes out of Lancherz’s pocket. He stands up and offers one of the cigarettes to the other detective. The 2nd Detective shakes his head.

2ND DETECTIVE: “Trying to quit.”
[CAMERA… 1st Detective lights up. Lewis walks up behind the two detectives and stands over the bodies.

LEWIS: “Can I bum one of those off you?”
1ST DETECTIVE: “Who the hell are you?”
LEWIS: “Teacher’s union.”
[CAMERA… Lewis shows some identification. 1st Detective offers a cigarette and a light to Lewis.
LEWIS: “What’s it look like?”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Someone has gone to a lot of trouble to make this look like a murder-suicide.”
LEWIS: “You’re not buying it?”
1ST DETECTIVE: “It would make our paper work easier.”
LEWIS: “Something to feed the media.”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Ya.”
1ST DETECTIVE: “You fellas know anything?”
LEWIS: “We’ve been watching these two. They’re married.”
1ST DETECTIVE: “Drugs?”
LEWIS: “In the high schools.”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Bastards!”
1ST DETECTIVE: “Makes sense.”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Professional hit.”
LEWIS: “Ya. Any ideas, who?”
1ST DETECTIVE: “We were hoping you could tell us that.”
LEWIS: “Nothing concrete.”
1ST DETECTIVE: “Keep in touch.”
2ND DETECTIVE: “Funny thing.”
LEWIS: “Funny?”
2ND DETECTIVE: “For a married couple…”
LEWIS: “Ya.”
1ST DETECTIVE: “He’s prettier than she is.”
LEWIS: “Not for long.”

END OF FIFTH SCENE

END OF SEVENTH EPISODE

The Lunar Conspiracy

THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Six

The Lunar Conspiracy


INTRODUCTION

[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.

[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.

“Mr. Faster. Today you will be filling in for Mr. Casey, our hall monitor. Make sure to pick up your walkie-talkie in the main office. It is suggested that you not carry around any valuables. And of course, don’t forget to wear the shin pads.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:

“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995


SCENE ONE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

BEGIN THE BEGIN

FADE to white. CUT to a very tight shot of Faster’s face.

CUT TO a MEDIUM SHOT of Faster sitting on the edge of his cot in his jail cell. He is wearing a bright orange jail outfit. He is eating a pastrami and rye sandwich with a cup of coffee. Mustard drips from his sandwich onto his outfit. Someone off stage offers him a cigarette. Mouth full, Faster shakes his head. After swallowing a mouthful of coffee, Faster complains about a sore throat.

CUT to someone standing with their back to the camera handing Faster some lozenges.

CUT to Faster wiping his face with a napkin.

FASTER: “Life is filled with so many disappointments. Even the wise men bow down before his crown. Some of life’s experiences are disheartening. Some episodes leave a bitter taste on your tongue. Other events pass over you with the flow of time. You hardly notice that they have occurred. Though they leave no impression, you read about them in history books. I was going to meet the Sandman. I had so many questions to ask. More and more my travels throughout the school systems of southern Ontario were troubling me. All these queries pointed to the Sandman for explanation. He was Oz in Emerald City. Then I learned that I would not be meeting him. Still my questions retained their appetite. I had to clear my mind. It was difficult to think in the crowded streets of Hamilton so I dropped into a local theatre.”
[CAMERA… CUT to a view from the rear of a theatre with the silhouette of male heads watching the screen.

CUT to screen where a young couple are making love. She is dressed up as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. Her lover is the Tin Man. His vital organ has gone to rust. Dorothy kneels before the Tin Man with an oil tin.

CUT to shot from the stage of the theatre of men, each of them with a brown paper bag in their laps. They are moaning and singing to the Leonard Cohen song Suzanne.

CUT to street where Faster stumbled.

FASTER: “It was noisier in the theatre than in the streets. I left the theatre and wandered the lonely streets. There was a light drizzle. Lovers rushed to restaurants. Their laughter was no comfort to me. Drunks huddled in boarded up stores. Cops sat conversing in donut shops. I borrowed the emptiness of the night and aimed it at my soul. I came upon a church. It was lit up like a Christmas tree. I am not a religious man but I could feel God drawing me into that holy place. I climbed up those steps, the weight of my thoughts, my own Calvary.”
[CAMERA… Inside a church. Faster opens the door and steps inside.

CUT to view from the rear of the church with the silhouette of women’s heads watching the preacher.

CUT to a priest, tears running down his face, pointing up to the figure of Christ hanging on his cross.

CUT to shot from the pulpit down at the congregation of old women in kerchiefs, each of them with a Kleenex in their hands. They are weeping and singing to the Leonard Cohen song Suzanne.

FASTER: “The church was no quieter. I slunk out of the church and returned to my motel room and took a shower.”
[CAMERA… CUT TO CLOSE UP of Faster in the shower. He turns off the water and turns to the camera.

FASTER: “Ellen Ellery was in Hamilton. No matter how I tried, I could not avoid her. Luckily my new best friend, Roberto Lancherz, took Ellen off my hands during the evening hours.”
[CAMERA… CUT to Roberto Lanherz opening a hotel room for Ellen Ellery. He taps her on the bottom, looks back at the camera, winks, and then closes the door behind him.

CUT to Faster wrapped in a towel, shaving in front of the mirror. Faster addresses the camera, which is behind the mirror.

FASTER: “I began to make enquiries of my own. My findings were unsettling. Ellen was mixed up with a known felon, named Paul Man. Man was an agent for Genova, one of Marvellous’s chief competitors.”

[CAMERA… CUT to a scene in a hotel room where Paul Man has slapped Ellen. She grabs her purse on the bed, and pulls out a knife. Man grabs Ellen’s wrist, smiles, twists her arm. He pulls Ellen to him and kisses her. At first she resists, then embraces him. The knife falls to the floor.

FASTER: “I felt responsible for Ellen. I knew how she felt about me. For her, I was the love she had so long waited. And yet, I could not reciprocate. My heart was elsewhere.”

[CAMERA… CUT to scene in washroom where Ellen kneels before a toilet vomiting. Faster is behind her, holding her hair out of line of fire.

CUT to Faster who turns to the camera.

FASTER: “A decision was made to send me to Sudbury. There was a complication at the hotel, which made a departure advantageous for me.”

[CAMERA… Bell hop laying on the floor. Half of his foot has been blown off. Blood spurts out like a fountain.

CUT to shot of Lancherz at the bar, several empty glasses in front of him. His clothes are dischevelled, his hair uncombed. He is shoeless. Faster steps up from behind him and takes a stool at the bar.

FASTER: “As I was leaving the hotel, I met Roberto in the bar. I asked Roberto to say goodbye to Ellen for me. The poor fellow began to cry. I cried as well. Roberto and I had become so close. He informed me that Ellen had returned to Toronto to meet Paul Man. A shiver ran up my spine. Roberto was so distraught. No man had ever expressed such fondness for me. And though I am not of that sexual persuasion, I was touched.”

[CAMERA… CUT to Faster’s cell. He bows his head. He is softly weeping.

FASTER: “Was I condemned to be a prisoner of love?”
[CAMERA…. Faster begins to sing the Leonard Cohen song, Suzanne.

END OF THE FIRST SCENE


SECOND SCENE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

MESSAGES

FADE to white. CUT to the offices of Roberto Lancherz. A secretary in a short skirt and bleached blond hair is sitting at a desk. Her legs crisscrossed, she is chewing gum and holding a steno pad. Occasionally her gum pops. Occasionally her legs exchange positions. She addresses the camera.

SECRETARY: “12.30 at the P.M. Tuesday. Boss. That Mr. Sandman guy you’re always going on about, well he rang from Kitchener. Or was it Kapuskasing? Something beginning with a K. Whatever! The important fact is that he called. Even his voice sounds short on the telephone. Maybe it was Copenhagen. Geography was not one of my strengths in high school. We had this old fart Mr. Pringle who used to stand behind us girls who were naturally gifted and look down our blouses. He drooled. What a sleaze bag. Mr. Sandman can’t make it to Hamilton on account of the airline strike at Heathrow. Or was it Gatwick? Maybe it wasn’t a strike. I might add that Mr. Sandman sounds cute. I tried to sound pleasant as you instructed and Mr. Sandman seemed to appreciate my efforts. I asked about the weather. He was courteous and not at all abrupt. A real gentleman even for a short one. He said it was raining. Or something. We had a bad connection. He wants to meet someone named Fester. Or was that Foster? He said that you would know to whom he was referring. I had to keep reminding him to speak up. He said he never spoke up. I told him that if he expected to get anywhere in life, he had to learn to speak up. Mr. Pringle taught us that. Mr. Sandman said he didn’t care much for Mr. Pringle’s wisdom. I told Mr. Sandman that he must be prepared to learn something every day. The untested life is not worth living. Mr. Pringle said that. That’s when my line with Mr. Sandman was cut. He did not call back. By the way, your wife called. She sounded upset. The poor dear. It seems her mouth is covered with cold sores. She’s made an appointment with her doctor and wants you to pick her up at 3 o’clock. Or was that 2? I wrote the address of her doctor down here somewhere but it has been temporarily misplaced.”


[CAMERA… CUT to title:

CABLE FROM DAVID FASTER TO SANDMAN

CUT to David Faster sitting at Roberto Lancherz’s desk. Behind him Lancherz’s secretary stands, chewing gum, one hand on her hip. David addresses the camera.

FASTER: “Suggest meeting Sudbury STOP four o’clock eighth March STOP park bench across from Savoy Theatre STOP next to stop sign STOP wearing pink carnation STOP bring own lunch STOP regards Faster STOP”

[CAMERA… CUT to title:

LETTER FROM SANDMAN TO PAUL MAN
CUT to a darkened Lancherz’s office. The Sandman, a tiny figure, is sitting on the desk, his legs dangling, cigarette smoke drifting out of his mouth. He is silhouetted against the drawn sheer curtains. His voice is low and menacing. When his emotions rise, his voice rises then breaks.

SANDMAN: “March 7. Paul. You idiot! Are you purposely trying to sabotage my project? You scared the hell out of Marvellous. You and your introductory psychology. Who put that stupid idea into your head to act like a psychopath? Or are you freelancing again? I can’t seem to get it into your head. We are trying to get Marvellous and his cohorts to join us. Didn’t they teach restraint at college? I should never have listened to your mother. I warned you about Marvellous. He is a weak knee louse. And his partner is worse. The idea was that they would cave in to Genova’s demands not that they should lose their nerve all together. They are supposed to believe that Genova is an outside force. In this way we can expand our one third share to one half… And no more talk about Detroit muscle. Have patience, Paul. Try to use the brains that you inherited from me… Regarding this fellow Faster. Stay away from him. He is vital to our negotiations with Marvellous. Don’t underestimate Faster… I want to see you at home tomorrow evening by six o’clock. It’s your mother’s birthday. Your sister will be there. You can pick up the present you’re supposed to give your mother at Our Lady of Sorrows. I left it with Father O’Henry. Love papa.”

[CAMERA… CUT to title:

TELEX FROM SANDMAN TO DAVID FASTER

CUT to Lancherz’s office. There is no one in the office. The camera pans the desk looking for the telex. The camera finds it on the floor.

CLOSE UP of telex. Read by Sandman’s voice.

SANDMAN: “ATTENTION DAVID FASTER. Regret urgent business prevents our meeting. Suggest you postpone trip to Sudbury. Will advise time and location for our meeting. Sandman.”

[CAMERA… CUT to title:

POSTCARD FROM DAVID FASTER TO MUMS

CUT to David Faster at a desk in a hotel room. He is writing a postcard.

CUT to postcard of Hamilton smoke stacks.

FASTER: “Mums. Having a terrific time. Everyone here is so friendly. I’m making a good impression with my reports to Mr. Marvellous. Weather is still sunny. My rash is almost cleared up. The cucumber’s seem to be working wonders. Sometimes I get so bored in the classroom. The students seem so indifferent. I tried telling a joke like you suggested but no one laughed. The nights are so lonely. Wish you were here. Love David.”

END OF SCENE TWO

THIRD SCENE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

IN THE HALLWAYS

FADE to white. CUT to a hallway in a school. Faster leans against a wall as students move to their classes. Some students lean against their lockers laughing. One kid dribbles a basketball down the hall. Another student is carrying a small step ladder. Another student is filming his feet moving with a video camera. In the corner behind Faster a young man is making a drug deal with another student. Off to one side two students are making out. The girl is chewing gum. Her boyfriend is trying to open a condom package. Faster is talking to a group of students.

FASTER: “Shouldn’t you be going to class?”
CRAIG: “I’ve got a sore throat.”
FASTER: “Have you tried Cod Liver Oil?”
CRAIG: “I’m allergic to fish.”
MARIA: “Cod are an endangered species.”
CRAIG: “I caught it off my sister.”
ROGER: “His sister has the big C.”
FASTER: “Cancer? That’s terrible.”
CRAIG: “Hepatitis.”
ROGER: “She smokes too much.”
MARIA: “My father was dieing of cancer when he was killed in a car accident.”
CRAIG: “She’s pregnant. Her boyfriend gave her hepatitis.”
FASTER: “Didn’t she take precautions?”
MARIA: “His breaks failed.”
ROGER: “How was she supposed to know that her boyfriend had hepatitis?”
CRAIG: “Does licorice really turn women on?”
ROGER: “No kidding. Red or black?”
FASTER: “What is your sister going to do about the baby?”
CRAIG: “That’s been fixed.”
MARIA: “Licorice is carcinogenic. After my father died my mother tried to commit suicide. She ate a garbage bag of licorice.”
CRAIG: “Are you an undercover cop? Our last hall monitor was a cop.”
FASTER: “I’m just filling in.”
CRAIG: “Does incense turn chicks on? I heard the chicks that go to church are really hot.”
MARIA: “She had her stomach pumped. Since then she’s refused to cook. So we order out every night.”
ROGER: “What kind of car do you drive?”
FASTER: “I don’t drive. You’re going to be late for class.’
CRAIG: “I’ve got a spare.”
ROGER: “Don’t drive? That’s bullshit. Everyone drives.”
MARIA: “I’ve got a supply. Mrs. Damani is on the rag.”
ROGER: “I saw some guys strip a teacher’s car to a hollow shell in minutes.”
CRAIG: “I heard that if you eat too many carrots, your cock turns orange.”
[CAMERA… suddenly down the empty hall, a locker blows up. Faster turns to see debris flying into the hallway.

FASTER: “What the hell was that?”
ROGER: “Oh man that blew up real good!”
CRAIG: “Remember sir, we were here talking to you.”

END OF SCENE THREE

FOURTH SCENE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

UNPAID BILLS

FADE to white. CUT to Faster’s hotel room. He is packing his suitcase for his trip to Sudbury. There is a knock at the door. Faster opens the door and in step two large bell hops followed by a small demure gentleman, Mr. Vento, dressed impeccably in a three piece suit. A small badge “Assistant Manager” is clipped to his lapel.

FASTER: “Can I help you, gentlemen?”
VENTO: “I understand that you are leaving us, Mr. Faster.”
[CAMERA… The two bell hops each grab one of Faster’s arms and drag him over to a wall. Lifting him, they pin him against the wall.

FASTER: “I have to be out at the airport by 3 o’clock. Would it be too much of you to forward my laundry? It’s just a couple of boxer shorts. Just throw them in an envelope and forward them to the Sudbury Board of Education. Personnel.”
VENTO: “Pretty cool customer, Faster. But you seem to be in an awful hurry. Running away from something, are we?”
FASTER: “Do you suppose you could ask these two fellas to put me down? I’m afraid of heights.”
[CAMERA… CLOSE UP of Vento. He nods to the two bell hops.

CUT TO LONG SHOT… Bell hops lower Faster to the floor. One of them grabs Faster’s arms while the other buries his fist in Faster’s stomach.

CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster bent over his face in considerable pain.

CUT to LONG SHOT… Faster sinks to the floor, moaning and holding his stomach.

VENTO: “Show Mr. Faster his bill.”
[CAMERA… One of the bell hops reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper neatly folded several times until it is a little square. Meticulously the bell hop unfolds the little square piece of paper.

CLOSE UP of Vento, his eyes rising to the ceiling, waiting impatiently for the bell hop to unwrap the bill.

LONG SHOT… The bell hop hands the bill to Faster who is still on the floor, moaning and holding his stomach. He reads the bill.

FASTER: “This… this is ridiculous. I never made all these long distance calls. And I never touched the liquor cabinet. Who ordered room service? And I most certainly did not rent two rooms. What would I do with two rooms?”
VENTO: “So you were going to skip out on your bill.”
FASTER: “There’s something wrong here.”
VENTO: “Your fiancé warned us that you might react like this.”
FASTER: “Fiance?”
VENTO: “A lovely young woman.”
FASTER: “What did she look like?”
VENTO: “You don’t know what your fiancé looks like?”
FASTER: “Her name wouldn’t be Ellen Ellery, would it?”
VENTO: “At least you know her name. She said you’d cover her expenses.”
FASTER: “Not bloody likely.”
VENTO: “I know your type. Don’t pay alimony! Don’t pay child support! Just take off and leave us taxpayers to clean up your mess.”
FASTER: “I’m not married. I don’t have kids. And I ain’t paying this bill.”
[CAMERA… Faster moves quickly away from the two bell hops.
FASTER: “Don’t come any closer! I’ve got a gun.”
[CAMERA… Vento and the two bell hops begin to laugh. Faster smiles sheepishly. He turns around and reaches into his bag that is laying on the bed. He pulls out a gun. Faster laughs.

FASTER: “Okay now! This is a real gun with real bullets inside. And I am very nervous.”
VENTO: “Do you have a license for that gun, sir?”
FASTER: “In my bag somewhere.”
VENTO: “I must insist that you hand that revolver over to me at this very instant!”
[CAMERA… The gun goes off by accident. One of the bell hops screams out in pain and falls to the floor.

FASTER: “Why did he move? He shouldn’t have moved.”
VENTO: “He sneezed! It’s the flu. Everyone has it.”
1ST BELL HOP: “Ahhhh!”
[CAMERA… Bell hop is writhing on the floor. 2nd bell hop raises his hands over his head. Slowly he edges backwards toward the door. Vento looks down at bell hop angrily.

VENTO: “Will you shut-up! I can’t think! You have put us in a most difficult position, Mr. Faster.”
FASTER: “I didn’t mean to shoot him! It was an accident!”
VENTO: “You have to understand our position, Mr. Faster. The books have to be balanced. Mr. Sandman runs a tight ship.”
FASTER: “Mr. Sandman and I are business associates.”
VENTO: “Excuse me! You know Mr. Sandman?”
FASTER: “I was supposed to meet him here at the hotel but he got caught up in some business affairs in Toronto.”
VENTO: “Shit!”
[CAMERA… The 1st bell hop is still moaning on the floor. Vento looks down at him and kicks in the stomach.

VENTO: “Shut the fuck up! Oh my. This is embarrassing. Why didn’t you say that you and Mr. Sandman…”
FASTER: “You didn’t ask.”
VENTO: “I didn’t ask! Am I expected to think of everything? Can’t someone else take the initiative? Must I always be expected to be the one to lead the God damn parade? Jesus!”
FASTER: “That foot looks pretty bad. Maybe you should call for…”
VENTO: “Mr. Faster, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I’m sure you can understand that even in the best run organizations, mistakes happen. I’d appreciate it if you’d forget all about this unfortunate incident. Mr. Sandman doesn’t have to hear about this. Don’t get me wrong. I love Mr. Sandman but he is not always the most understanding…”
FASTER: “And the bill?”
VENTO: “Compliments of the hotel.”
FASTER: “My lips are sealed.”
VENTO: “I am eternally grateful. If there ever is anything…”
[CAMERA… Bell hop cries out. Vento looks down at him and gives him another boot.

END OF SCENE FOUR

FIFTH SCENE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

FOND ADIEUS

FADE to white. CUT hotel lobby where Faster is dragging a suitcase. He spots Lancherz in the bar. Putting his luggage to one side, Faster joins Lancherz at the bar. It is obvious by Lancherz’s appearance that he has been in the bar for some time.

LANCHERZ: “Sit down old buddy, old pal, old sod. Have a drink and help me bury my thoughts.”
FASTER: “Can’t stay long. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
LANCHERZ: “Departures. The bitterest defeats. She is with someone else and I am still here. You’ve heard the news?”
FASTER laughs: “I was the first…”
LANCHERZ: “You are laughing. You are laughing at me. I must seem the fool. Perhaps I should laugh. Let my tears brew a gayer drink.”
FASTER: “I am not laughing.”
LANCHERZ: “I am totally… I don’t know the words to describe what I am. One picture of her would exhaust the English language. Words are so final. This pain has no end.”
FASTER: “You’re hurt.”
LANCHERZ: “Yes. Hurt. That’s the word I was looking for. Oh David, my dear thesaurus, what am I going to do? It’s not like I am twenty years old and can start fresh.”
FASTER: “You’ll make new friends. You’re the kind of person that people take to. Roberto, you have that rare gift of generosity that is so appealing in a world of bottom lines.”
LANCHERZ: “Friendship! You think this is some mere token of my heart that has been leased to pain? Some one night stand of forlornness? I am in agony!”
[CAMERA… CLOSE UP of tears running down Faster’s face. He takes out a Kleenex and blows his nose.

CUT to medium shot of Lancherz and Faster at bar. They order a round. Lancherz drinks both of them and orders another for himself.

FASTER: “I’m touched, Roberto. I’m really…”
LANCHERZ: “I almost feel married…”
FASTER: “Please, Roberto. I love you too, but not…”
LANCHERZ: “All these years and they just let me go. Flicked into the street like a used match.”
FASTER: “What?”
LANCHERZ: “Fired!”
FASTER: “Fired?”
LANCHERZ: “My job was my mistress. All the memories. All the students I’ve escorted through the hallow halls of academia. The Germans with their voracious appetites for order. The laughter of the Italians. The cute little Japanese students with their unbounded courtesy. The music of those Jamaican and Irish voices. I’ve become redundant! Obsolete! Tossed into the trash can of history like a Commodore. Twenty years flushed down the toilet. Dismissed! Shunted!”
[CAMERA… Lancherz downs the drink placed in front of him and orders another.
LANCHERZ: “Suck the best out of me and then flicked into the street like an apple core. Chewed up and spit out like a wad of gum. I’m just one more used styrofoam cup. It’s over. A shell of a man. Give me a gun and let me finish the job!”
FASTER: “You shouldn’t talk like that Roberto. You still have a lovely wife and...”
LANCHERZ: “Maria? She’s gone too.”
FASTER: “Not Maria! But you were so… compatible.”
LANCHERZ: “Sure, I fooled around a little. I have needs. Am I not a man? Show me one husband who hasn’t strayed from the bridal path and I’ll…”
FASTER: “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I can’t believe that she left you because you lost your job.”
LANCHERZ: “My job? Maria left me over a few cold sores. Herpes! They’ll find a cure. There are breakthroughs every day in medical science. All the furniture we bought together. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
FASTER: “It’s always darkest before…”
LANCHERZ: “And then the final blow. The coup de grass. To be forsaken by the one person who over the last few days has left that indelible character called true love…”
FASTER: “Oh Roberto. I had no idea.”
LANCHERZ: “I’ve never felt so close to another human being in all my life. My soul mate has…”
FASTER: “To hell with Sudbury. I’ll tell Marvellous that I can’t leave. I’ll be here for…”
LANCHERZ: “She was the best piece of ass I ever had.”
FASTER: “Say what?”
LANCHERZ: “Ellen has left. She took off this morning for Toronto to meet someone named Paul Man. What can he offer her? Money? Trips to Wasaga Beach?”
FASTER: “You and Ellen?”
LANCHERZ: “She was like a black hole. Once inside her heart, nothing escapes.”
FASTER: “Come to Sudbury with me. You’ll forget all of this.”
LANCHERZ: “That’s very kind of you old man…”
FASTER: “The trip will take your mind off all of this. Sudbury is where the astronauts practiced their moon walk. You’ll feel like you’ve left the planet.”
LANCHERZ: “Go to Sudbury? With you?”
FASTER: “We’ll do the town. It’ll be great fun.”
LANCHERZ: “Nothing personal, old man, but I don’t really enjoy your company. You’re the dullest person I’ve ever met.”
FASTER: “I thought we were friends.”
LANCHERZ: “Friends. It was my job to entertain you. I was following Sandman’s instructions. Now that I’ve lost my job, his wrath will fall upon me.”
FASTER: “I’m sure Mr. Sandman will be sympathetic.”
LANCHERZ: “Do you know the Sandman?”
FASTER: “Well, no. I was hoping to meet with him soon.”
LANCHERZ: “He is not a man who receives bad news well.”
FASTER: “But losing your job… surely he will see…”
LANCHERZ: “I am a dead man walking.”

END OF SCENE FIVE

SIXTH SCENE

[CAMERA… Shot of title:

NIGHTMARES

FADE to white. CUT to inside of airplane in flight.

MEDIUM SHOT of Faster in his seat. He is by the window. The other two seats beside him are empty. Faster is asleep.

FASTER muttering: “Hate. Hate. Cocoa. I want Quick. Water. Room temperature. Could someone turn down the heat. The cat. Keep the cat away. Whose that? Whose there?”
NIGHTMARE
A house plant is huddled in the corner of the room. A watering can steps across the room. The house plant screams out and scampers to another corner of the room.
FASTER muttering: “And no tea. I don’t care if it’s Earl Grey. And no coffee. I’ll never get to sleep. Must tell. Must tell. The cleaning lady didn’t vacuum under the couch. Rash is under control. Ellen stole my cucumbers.”
NIGHTMARE
Faster is running through a series of rooms. He has a cleaver in his hand. He is chasing a chicken. He runs into a room where the bed sheets have been pulled back. There is blood on the floor. A human foot in a black shoe is dancing around.
FASTER muttering: “My toe nails won’t stop growing. Wear shoes to bed. Shoe polish all over the sheets. The maid looks disgusted. It’s only shoe polish. You’ve got to believe me. Put Noxzema on my nose.”
NIGHTMARE
Faster is examining his nose in the mirror. Skin cancer, he cries. His nose comes off in his hands. Falls off into the sink. Down the drain. Panics. Tries to reach into the sink with his fingers.
FASTER muttering: “Didn’t mean to pull the trigger. He shouldn’t have moved. The blood. Who could have thought there could be so much blood?”
NIGHTMARE
Faster is in a restaurant. Ellen Ellery is sitting at the table. Faster serves her a bowl of bloody toes. She looks up at him and asks for Parmesan cheese.
FASTER muttering: “Why don’t you like me? I liked you Roberto. Friends. Where is Mums? I want my Mums.”
NIGHTMARE
Faster is in a hotel room with a gun in his hand. Roberto is standing in front of him. The gun goes off. Roberto falls to the floor. Faster is in a hotel room with a gun in his hand. Bill Marvellous is standing in front of him. The gun goes off. Marvellous falls to the floor. Faster is in a hotel room with a gun in his hand. Ellen Ellery is standing in front of him. The gun goes off. Ellen falls to the floor. Faster is in a hotel room with a gun in his hand. The Sandman is standing in front of him. The gun goes off. The Sandman smiles.
FASTER muttering: “Accident. It was an accident. Gun went off. Only a dream. A dream. No one died. Sorry! Accident!”
NIGHTMARE
Faster is being strapped into the electric chair. Two officers are attaching wires to Faster’s toes. Faster shakes his head. No, they’re innocent!
[CAMERA… A stewardess is bending over Faster and shaking him. He wakes up, startled. He looks at the stewardess.

FASTER: “I said I was sorry! What do you want from me?”

END OF SCENE SIX

END OF EPISODE SIX

The Mississauga

THE SANDMAN PROJECT – Episode Five

THE MISSISSAUGA


INTRODUCTION

[CAMERA… While the credits are rolling, the camera pans across a desk. The desk is messy. On it as permanent features are: a half empty cup of black coffee, an ashtray with cigarette butts spilling over onto the desk, a baseball, a paper mache vase made by a child with plastic flowers in it, several framed pictures containing members of a family, a computer, a monitor running a screen saver, a Save the Seals button, a couple of pens, a laundry receipt, and a clear plastic candy wrapper. Photographs of the main characters of our drama are paper-clipped to folders scattered across the desk. One folder is open. The main character David Faster smiles at the camera. The page opposite is marked up in red ink.

[MUSIC… a harmonica piece in the vein of the Rockford Files plays in the background. Overheard is a taped audio message from the School Board describing Mr. Faster’s supply teaching assignment for that day.
“Today you will be assigned a grade nine history class. Make sure you bring your own lunch. Once inside Our Lady of Wisdom, you will not be permitted to leave until the end of the school day.”
[CAMERA… After the credits have appeared the screen cuts to white and then slowly copy begins to roll up the screen:

“Government has too long been left
the sole responsibility for the education
of the young people of our province.
The private sector has a role to play
in the future of our nation.
Where better to mould the minds, skills and souls
of our children than in the market place.
The future is too precious to do any less.”
Assistant to the Deputy
Minister of Education
Province of Ontario, 1995



FIRST SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

INTO THE BOWELS OF MADNESS

FADE to white. CUT to CLOSE UP of Faster’s face. The shot is granular at first like an old black and white photograph that has been yellowed. It begins to clear.

CUT to MEDIUM SHOT… Faster is sitting on the edge of a cot. Behind him on the wall is a poster of an open window. A smile flickers across his face. He raises his finger to his nose, hesitates, scratches the side of his nose. Faster gestures to someone off camera. Someone throws him a cigarette which he deftly catches. Someone throws him a package of matches which he does not catch. He picks the matches up off the floor and lights his cigarette.

FASTER: “When I arrived in Hamilton, I was met at the train station by Mr. Roberto Lancherz, the Sandman’s associate in the Golden Horseshoe and a superintendent of the local school system. Lancherz is a tall chap with brooding good looks and a heavy Spanish accent. He is one of those people whose charm and good humour makes him attractive to both sexes.”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UP of the middle-aged handsome Lancherz practicing various smiles in front of a mirror.

CUT back to Faster in his cell

FASTER: “Over dinner, Lancherz informed me that the Sandman would be coming to Hamilton. I was very excited by the prospects of finally meeting the great man. Wherever I traveled in southern Ontario, I could feel the presence of the man’s power. The very breath of the man seemed to hang over every conversation.”
[CAMERA… CUT to lobby of hotel where Ellen Ellery is dragging a suitcase to the front desk. Faster hides behind Lancherz. Ellen passed by them.

FASTER: “As I was checking into my hotel, I spotted Ellen coming into the lobby. Lancherz seemed amused as I hid behind him. He led me into the hotel bar which he assured me was off limits to women until 5 o’clock. That did not stop Ellen from bursting in upon us.”
[CAMERA… CUT to long shot of Ellen Ellery rushing up to Faster at the bar and giving him a big hug. Faster’s arms are pinned to his side. There is a look about Faster of the deer caught in a car’s headlights. Immediately Ellen orders a round of drinks, lights up a cigarette, grabs Lancherz’s hand and shakes it. Faster turns to the camera.

FASTER: “Lancherz, thinking that Ellen was a friend of mine, asked her join us for dinner. Ellen accepted. Lancherz did not realize that Ellen was a journalist and unfortunately spoke about matters better left unsaid.”
[CAMERA… CUT to an Indian restaurant, not an east the jewel of the empire restaurant but a native Canadian restaurant called The Mississauga where Ellen, Lancherz, Faster, and Lancherz’s wife Marie are seated. Lancherz has only eyes for Ellen while Marie is busy reading Ellen’s palm. Faster turns and addresses the camera in whispers.

FASTER: “Accompanied by Lancherz’s charming wife we visited a local Indian restaurant. What a gracious host, Mrs. Lancherz proved to be. She is so refined, so elegant in every gesture and manner. Lancherz and Ellen seemed to hit it off. I could tell by Ellen’s eyes that she felt she was on the scent of a big story. While the two ladies were in the powder room, Lancherz mentioned how impressed he was with Ellen. I warned him that she was not to be trusted. I couldn’t be sure if Lancherz appreciated the seriousness of my alarm. I believe he may have misinterpreted my remarks as jealousy.”
[CAMERA… CUT to golf course. Faster is up to his knees in a stream looking for his ball. Lancherz sits patiently on a golf cart smoking a cigarette. Faster finds a ball and smiles at the camera. He throws the ball off to one side where a half dozen other balls are collected.

CUT to medium shot of Faster in the stream.. He speaks to the camera.

FASTER: “On Thursday, I played golf with Lancherz. The game looks so easy on television. Lancherz was quite put off by my insistence on using a putter for every shot. My only previous experience with golf had been mini-golf at which I was something of an expert. The windmill is a real challenge.”
[CAMERA… CUT to various places on the golf course where a series of golfers are ducking as Faster’s ball goes whizzing passed them.

CUT to MEDIUM SHOT of Faster being held by two golfers as a third punches him out.

CUT to MEDIUM SHOT… Lancherz sits patiently on a golf cart smoking a cigarette.

END OF SCENE ONE

SECOND SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

HOTEL RULES

FADE to white. CUT to CLOSE-UP of Faster’s hotel door where a set of rules have been listed. As Faster reads each rule a short scene from a movie, acted out by the characters in the story, is shown.

FASTER: “Number 1. Acts of social intercourse between consenting adults may not be engaged in after midnight.”

[CAMERA… Scene from movie Scarface with Al Pacino. This is the scene in the film where Pacino’s comrad is in the shower, his hands tied above his head to the shower nozzle as one of the bad guys has a chain saw. In this scene Mr. Djagera is the one tied up. The bad guy holding the chain saw is Lewis. The woman watching is Maria Lancherz.

There is a CLOSE-UP of Djagera’s face. He is screaming. The chain saw roars.

CUT to shot of Marie smiling. Blood is sprayed across her grin. She licks her lips.

FASTER: “Number 2. The chain and lock on your door, the small peep hole in the door, and the can of room deodorizer are provided for your security needs.”

[CAMERA… Scene from the movie The Shining with Jack Nicholson and Shelly Duval. In this particular scene Nicholson has an axe and is breaking down the door of a room to get at his wife and child. The part of Nicholson is played Paul Man. Colline, one of the models, plays the Shelly Duval role. The child is played by the Sandman. Paul Man smashes a hole in the door with his axe. Colline clutches the Sandman to her breast as they huddle terrified in the corner. Paul Man sticks his head through the hole he has created.
COLLINE: screams
PAUL MAN: “Pizza!”

FASTER: “Number 3. No political activity or activity that could be interpreted as a political activity should be discussed or organized while a tenant of this hotel.”

[CAMERA… Any number of black and white movies where someone is being prepared for execution in the electric chair. David Faster is the convict being readied to electrocute. Bill Marvellous plays the priest standing to one side holding a prayer book. The two cops strapping Faster in are Ron Howl and the one legged vender. The cop standing by the switch behind Faster is the spiked hair student named Laura.
FASTER: “Honest, I really have to go!”

FASTER: “Number 4. You are requested not to leave false teeth, batteries, jewelry or other valuables in your room as the hotel will not be held responsible for the loss of such items.”

[CAMERA… The movie, Murder by Decree, with Christopher Plummer and James Mason. In this particular scene Jack the Ripper is tearing apart one of his victims in a small apartment. Jack the Ripper is played by the Sandman. The victim is played by Miss Leigh. The Sandman plunges his knife into Miss Leigh’s stomach. With his hand he reaches inside her and pulls out a watch.
MISS LEIGH: “Thank you. I thought I’d lost it. It was a Christmas present from my granny.”

FASTER: “Number 5. No pets are allowed in a guest’s room.”

[CAMERA… The movie, King Kong, with Robert Armstrong and Fay Wray. In this particular scene King Kong is reaching through a window into a hotel room to grab Fay Wray. Paul Man plays King Kong. Fay Wray is played by David Faster.
FASTER: “There’s nothing wrong with my prostrate gland!”

FASTER: “Number 6. In case of EMERGENCY, dial 764-38-39 and ask for extension 17.”

[CAMERA… Custard’s Last Stand. A few last soldiers are fighting off the Sioux. A private soldier played by Ron Howl turns to Custard, played by Bill Marvellous.
HOWL: “Is help coming?”
MARVELLOUS takes out a cell phone and dials EMERGENCY.
CUT TO shot of Sitting Bull played by Mr. Djagera. He takes out his cell phone.
DJAGERA: “Hello. Can I help you?”

FASTER: “Number 7. You are requested to settle your account with the hotel before noon each day. Outstanding accounts will be prosecuted.”

[CAMERA… The movie is the Maltese Falcon. Bogart, played by Ron Howl, is sitting at a couch having a drink with Greenstreet, played by Bill Marvellous. Howl looks at his drink which he begins to realize has been drugged. He attempts to get up, loses his balance and falls to the floor. Marvellous chuckles and rises to his feet. One of his colleagues, the kid played by Faster, comes in from another room, sees Howl on the floor, and kicks Howl in the head.
HOWL mutters before he passes out: “It’s going to rain tomorrow. Always rains when I feel a migraine coming on.”


END OF SCENE TWO

THIRD SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

INTRODUCTIONS

FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of hotel lobby where Faster is met by one Roberto Lancherz and conducted to the front desk where Faster registers. Faster is offered a cigarette from a gold cigarette case which Lancherz produces from his jacket pocket. Faster politely refuses. Lancherz lights up a cigarette.

CUT to MEDIUM SHOT of Lancherz and Faster talking.

LANCHERZ: “Kirtz! After all this time, you are back. I thought you were going to remain in that vile stinking infested continent forever. The wife is always talking about you. When is Kirtz coming home? she asks. And I have no answer. There is something going on between you two, my dear old friend. Don’t deny it! I can refuse you nothing. You are the son Maria did not carry to term. I thought we had lost you to the soul of the dark continent. But now you return like a prodigal son. Kirtz! The hills are alive with the sound of Kirtz!”
FASTER: “Mr. Lancherz, there’s been…”
LANCHERZ: “Make it like the old day, my trusted dear friend. Call me Folden.”
FASTER: “Folden?”
LANCHERZ laughs: “Folden Lancherz!”
FASTER: Oh yes, I see. A joke. I’m not very… “
LANCHERZ: “How you used to laugh at my little jokes, your little chest shaking with joy. It brought such… joy to my heart. But your letters drove us crazy. Kirtz, all this talk about the darkness in the twentieth century. This is the age of the electric light bulb, my Kirtz. The age of television, home computers, camcorders. How could you describe it as the age of unenlightenment?”
FASTER: “Mr. Lancherz, I must insist. There’s been a mistake.”
LANCHERZ: “Mistake?”
FASTER: “My name is Faster, David Faster. I am not Kirtz. I do not know anyone named Kirtz.”
LANCHERZ: “Not Kirtz!”
FASTER: “Faster.”
[CAMERA… Lancherz takes out a pair of glasses from his pocket and puts them on. For a minute or so he examines Faster then returns his glasses to his pocket.

LANCHERZ: “You are not Kirtz.”
FASTER: “No, sir.”
LANCHERZ: “You could pass for his twin. You even smell like Kirtz. Ah, lavendar! Do you speak German?”
FASTER: “I’m sorry to be such a disappointment. It was my understanding that Mr. Sandman had informed you of my arrival.”
LANCHERZ: “Yes, I see now. You are the young fellow from Marvellous Educational Supplies and Services. Welcome to Hamilton, our city by the bay. Maria will be disappointed. There was such joy in our house when the Kirtz walked its hallways.”
FASTER: “I am very happy to be here. Those stacks from the steel mill are quite a sight. I couldn’t keep my eyes off them.”
LANCHERZ: “Ah, yes. We Hamiltonians boast that we are the city that is well hung. We have much to discuss. As the superintendent of schools I think I can expose you to some exciting business opportunities. Education is not just about expanding young minds; it is about future market places.”
[CAMERA… Faster spots Ellen Ellery entering the hotel lobby. He hides behind Lancherz. Lancherz looks around with a bemused smile.

LANCHERZ: “What is it, my dear friend?”
FASTER: “You see that woman entering the hotel?”
LANCHERZ: “Yes. She is quite a beauty.”
FASTER: “I would like to avoid her.”
LANCHERZ: “Ah! Romantic intrigue. You are beginning to interest me, Mr. David Faster. I think you are more like Kirtz than you can imagine.”
FASTER: “Is there some place we can hide?”
[CAMERA… LONG SHOT… Lancherz and Faster enter the bar. Lancherz orders a couple of drinks. Before Faster is able to explain his flight from Ellen Ellery, Ellen strolls into the bar and noticing David, rushes up to him. She stands over him with her arms outstretched. Reluctantly Faster rises and Ellen gives him a hug. Ellen turns to Lancherz.

ELLEN: “Aren’t you going to introduce me, David?”
LANCHERZ: “Roberto Lancherz at your service, madam.”
ELLEN: “Ellen Ellery waiting to be serviced.”
[CAMERA… Ellen and Lancherz shake hands. The three sit down.
LANCHERZ laughs: “Oh, madam! Such a sense of humour. Wit is a quality too often absent from the feminine mystique. Life is such a drab affair and without humour it…”
ELLEN: “Your ears, Mr. Lancherz! You have bedroom ears.”
LANCHERZ: “Roberto, call me Roberto. I know all about my ears. But, alas, I have kitchen teeth. Pure porcelain.”
ELLEN laughs: “Ellen, call me Ellen. You have lovely teeth, Roberto and a beautiful smile.”
FASTER: “Miss Ellery is staying at another hotel.”
LANCHERZ: “A great tragedy! Perhaps we could persuade the lovely young woman to change her arrangements.”
ELLEN: “But, I’m not staying at another hotel. I’m staying right here in this hotel. I’ve got the room next to yours. I saw your name in the registry and…”
LANCHERZ: “Madam is a romantic. I saw it the first time I laid eyes on you. It fills my heart with… How unfortunate the world is without romance. People are so bitter, worrying about poverty, pestilence, wandering asteroids. They forget to smell the roses.”
FASTER: “Ellen is from Australia.”
LANCHERZ: “I could hear it in her voice. What a lovely accent. Australia must be a very gay place with all those exotic creatures hopping about. What do they call them, kangaroos? Even the name lifts one’s spirits.”
ELLEN: “You must visit it someday. You’d love Sydney.”
LANCHERZ: “But why would I visit Australia when madam is already here?”
ELLEN: “You make me blush, Roberto.”
LANCHERZ: “No crime would be too great if it would bring colour to those lovely cheeks.”
ELLEN: “Oh, Roberto.”
LANCHERZ: “Oh, Ellen.”
FASTER: “I think I’m going to be sick.”

END OF SCENE THREE

FOURTH SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

THE MISSISSAUGA AND NEUTRALS

FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of classroom. At the front of the class Lancherz and Faster stand.

LANCHERZ: “Now I shall take a seat as Mr. Faster introduces you to your work. I hope that you will treat Mr. Faster with the courtesy and respect that we Hamiltonians always show outsiders.”
[CAMERA… Lancherz moves from the front of the classroom to the back of the room where he leans against the wall.

FASTER: “I understand that you have been studying early Canadian history. According to your teacher’s lesson plan we are supposed to go over the early inhabitants of this area. Can anyone tell me who they were?”
ADEREMI: “The Neutrals followed by the Mississauga, both of whom were members of the Algonquin tribes.”
FASTER: “Your teacher has written down here that the Scottish were the first inhabitants.”
MARY: “Did people get very lonely then?”
FASTER: “There’s nothing here about loneliness.”
GENE: “What did the Mississauga do for kicks? Were there any Tim Horton’s?”
FASTER: “No. No Macdonald’s, Wendy’s, or Walmart.”
COSTER: “Where did they chill out, man?”
FASTER: “The first inhabitants mostly worked. They had to clear the land, put crops in, build houses and fortifications. The Scottish people were very industrious.”
ADEREMI: “What about before the Scottish? Why did they call them Neutrals and why did they leave to be replaced by the Mississauga?”
FASTER: “An interesting question.”
[CAMERA… CLOSE UP of Lancherz leaning against the wall. He has fallen asleep.

CUT to CLOSE UPS of each student as they speak.

GENE: “Did they just buzz around in their wheels?”
FASTER: “There weren’t any cars? What automobile did General Motors name after a famous Indian chief?”
COSTER: “No wheels!”
FASTER: “No cars, no cell phones, no television, radio, lights, refrigerators, air-conditioners. None of these things had been invented yet.”
NATOYA: “No cell phones!”
MARY: “How could they stand it? They must have been very lonely. Was there a lot of suicide?”
JACK: “Life must have really sucked.”
ADEREMI: “The aboriginal peoples lived in paradise. The Europeans introduced bi-polar disorder, manic depression, and small pox.”
JACK: “Did they have sex? Or did the Europeans invent that as well?”

END OF SCENE FOUR





FIFTH SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

ORDERING UNUSUAL FOOD

FADE to white. CUT to LONG SHOT of restaurant where Faster, Ellen, Lancherz and his wife Maria are seated at a table.

LANCHERZ: “You mustn’t be embarrassed, old man. It could happen to anyone.”
ELLEN laughing: “But it always happens to David.”
MARIA: “So you took your shoes off when you entered the restaurant…”
FASTER: “I thought we were eating sushi.”
ELLEN: “At least you had clean socks on.”
MARIA: “And such cute little feet. Like they were bound. I’ve never seen such tiny feet on a man. Not like Roberto’s snowshoes.”
LANCHERZ: “Well let’s change the conversation. We’ve had enough laughter at dear David’s expense.”
ELLEN: “You think his feet are tiny; you should see…”
FASTER: “I’ve never ordered Indian food.”
LANCHERZ: “My dear wife, Maria, will order for you, old man. She’s been here several times with her bridge club. I often wonder what a gathering of such ladies can find to talk about. I’ll bet we can guess, right old man?”
ELLEN: “I could use a drink. I don’t know when I’ve been this thirsty.”
FASTER: “I had Mexican food once. Very spicy. It gave me the runs…”
LANCHERZ: “You should have seen David this afternoon. He had those students on the edge of their seats. I don’t know when I’ve experienced a class so interested in Canadian history. It was a revelation to see students so overjoyed to have been born in the late 20th century.”
ELLEN: “Why is it that there’s never a waiter around when you need one?”
[CAMERA… A waiter appears. Drinks are ordered. Ellen takes out a package of cigarettes. Lancherz reaches into his pocket and brings out a gold cigarette case and offers one to Ellen. As Ellen picks out a cigarette, a gold cigarette lighter appears in Lancherz’s other hand.

ELLEN: “That’s a beautiful case.”
LANCHERZ: “I bought it in a little shop in Brussels. I was attending a conference on the future of education. I loved Belgium. Such a melancholic little people. I guess they have their reasons. They say that every generation another foreign army marches through Belgium. What a gene pool! I met Maria there. She was a chamber maid in this lovely little café in a small town called St. Niklaas, another name for Santa Claus. So charming. Maria wore this cute little maid’s outfit. Did you know that in Belgium they have a different brand of beer for every day of the year? The group I was with must have tried every one. What a hangover I had after that trip.”
[CAMERA… The waiter returns with their drinks. Faster is busily reading the menu. Ellen finishes her drink and orders a second.

ELLEN: “So you play bridge, Maria. I don’t enjoy playing cards myself. It seems so pointless. I mean, what do you accomplish?’
LANCHERZ: “Ditto here.”
MARIA: “We enjoy ourselves.”
LANCHERZ: “You should see these women. There’s a woman called Jackie looks like a turtle. I don’t think she has a neck. And another woman Phyllis, she has a voice like a fog horn.”
MARIA: “I’m sure our guests are not interested in my bridge club, Roberto.”
ELLEN: “I’ve never had any female friends. Never played dolls when I was a kid. I preferred playing with the boys. Bit of a tom boy.”
[CAMERA… The waiter arrives. Maria orders for everyone. Lancherz asks to see the wine list and picks out a bottle for dinner. Ellen orders a third drink.

ELLEN: “I had girl friends in college but with a career it’s difficult to keep in touch. And quite frankly I prefer the company of men.”
MARIA: “You’re really good at this.”
LANCHERZ: “Georgina, another of my wife’s friends, is a dike. There’s no polite way to put it. I mean she’s probation officer.”
MARIA: “She is not.”
FASTER: “I read a little about karma. I never imagined you could eat it.”
ELLEN: “That’s korma. Chicken korma not chicken karma.”
LANCHERZ: “I’m sure Georgina is a probation officer.”
ELLEN: “What did you mean by, you’re really good at this?”
FASTER: “Can’t a chicken have karma?”
MARIA: “There are two things I can’t abide: people talking in the cinema and being…”
LANCHERZ: “… interrupted.”
FASTER: “I would say that chickens must have bad karma, since they end up inside someone else’s stomach. They must have done something dreadful in a past life.”
LANCHERZ: “Don’t we all end up inside someone’s stomach?”
ELLEN: “What did you mean?”
MARIA: “Small talk. You’re one of those women who like to talk a lot about nothing.”
FASTER: “Perhaps chickens were lawyers.”
ELLEN: “I am not one of those women!”
MARIA: “Quit picking on my friends, Roberto. And Georgina is not a lesbian.”
LANCHERZ: “I’ve never seen her in a dress. Always wears jeans. And she had a tattoo on her arm.”
MARIA: “If a woman is not bowled over by Roberto’s charm, he thinks she’s gay.”
ELLEN: “I resent being called one of those women.”
MARIA: “Trust me darling, you are one of those women! You can’t stand it when you are not the center of attention even if you have to babble on and on with banalities.”
LANCHERZ: “Maria is going for the jugular.”
ELLEN: “I have breast cancer!”
[CAMERA… A long pregnant pause.
MARIA: “Oh, dear! I had no idea!”
LANCHERZ: “This is tragic. I think you should apologize, Maria.”
MARIA: “What can you think of me?”
ELLEN: “My doctor keeps calling me back for examinations.”
LANCHERZ: “They can treat breast cancer quite successfully these days.”
ELLEN: “My doctor keeps calling me at all hours. He sends me chocolates and flowers. And notes. Poetry.”
MARIA laughs: “You really are an imbecile. You don’t have cancer, my dear. You have a stalker.”

END OF SCENE FIVE

SIXTH SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

A CONFESSION

FADE to white. CUT to MEDIUM SHOT of an office. David Faster sits in a chair in front of a large desk. Behind the desk sits a small balding man. The sign on his desk reads PRINCIPAL SKINNER. He is holding his glasses in one hand and leans forward as he speaks to Faster in a low quivering voice.

SKINNER: “I am not a brave man, Mr. Faster. I don’t mind admitting it. I have three lovely little girls. One is in college, one is graduating from high school this year and I have one little tot still in elementary school. They bring such joy to my life. Sometimes when I am alone, I sit here weeping. A man should not be so lucky. And my wife… how that woman has sacrificed. Sacrificed her own career so that we could have a family, sacrificed so that I could pursue my goals in education. She wanted to be an artist. You should see some of her watercolours, Mr. Faster. There is a fragile tenderness in each of her paint strokes. But, I was not satisfied. A man should know when to say enough is enough. I thought that a few more dollars would make our lives complete. My daughters needed more money for college. My wife deserved a holiday. She has never had a real holiday. I thought we might go to Italy to see the great artists of the Renaissance. We’ve always gone camping. God forgive me, I wanted to join a golf club… A principal’s salary can only stretch so far. In a moment of weakness, I agreed to this scheme of Mr. Sandman’s. But, I cannot go through with it. Mr. Faster, I could lose everything… You know, Mr. Sandman. Could you intercede on my part and explain why I must now rescind my promise. Mr. Faster, my life is in your hands.”
FASTER: “Mr. Skinner, I wish I could help you. But, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

END OF SCENE SIX

SEVENTH SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

PILLOW TALK

FADE to white. CUT to MEDIUM SHOT of bedroom. Lancherz is in bed reading a book. Maria is dressed in her housecoat, sitting at her vanity, brushing her hair.

MARIA: “What do you think about this fellow, Faster? Can he be trusted?”
LANCHERZ: “You are too suspicious, my dear.”
MARIA: “And that girl, Ellery? There’s something more to that girl than she lets on. What do we know about her?”
LANCHERZ: “She’s a friend of Faster’s. I think they are lovers.”
MARIA: “Roberto, you are so naïve. She’s using him. What would an attractive girl like that see in a klutz like Faster?”
LANCHERZ: “You think she is attractive?”
MARIA: “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice, Roberto? Tell me, how did she manage to show up at the same hotel as Faster? I don’t believe in coincidences. And neither does the Sandman.”
LANCHERZ: “Don’t worry about Sandman. He has left this end of the operation to me. I think he has more confidence in me than you do, my dear.”
MARIA: “That strange little man gives me the creeps. He whispers when he talks. And he never likes to be seen in the public. Insists on turning off all the lights in the room and closing curtains when you meet with him.”
LANCHERZ: “He likes to play bridge.”
MARIA: “And you learn something about a person when you play bridge with him. For one thing, he cheats.”
LANCHERZ: “No!”
MARIA: “And he hates to lose. Remember the time he tipped the table over when the cards weren’t going his way. And he pouts. I never heard someone complain so much about every card dealt to him. What do you know about the Sandman?”
LANCHERZ: “I know he’s a successful businessman and he’s going to make all of us very wealthy.”
MARIA: “Men like Sandman don’t become successful without stepping over bodies. I don’t trust him, Roberto. Call it women’s intuition, but I feel like something terrible is going to happen.”
LANCHERZ: “Come to bed, dear. Papa will ease your fears.”

END OF SCENE SEVEN

EIGHTH SCENE


[CAMERA… Shot of opening title:

A MAN ABOUT TOWN

FADE to white. CUT to MEDIUM SHOT in a dark room. Silhouette of Paul Man, bent and round shouldered, pacing back and forth in front of a window with the curtains closed. Someone is sitting outside the camera’s view. Cigar smoke drifts across the room.

MAN: “They keep pushing me! Pushing and pushing! How much am I expected to take? I won’t be treated like this. Nobody treats Paul Man like this and gets away with it. I’m warning you! I will have respect. Who do these mothers think they’re dealing with? Marvellous stepped over the line. The way he looked at me. Down that squatty little nose of his. I won’t be held accountable for my actions. Not after the way he looked at me. It’s not right. This has gone too far. I’m telling you right now, if that fat blustering mother fucker doesn’t come across with this deal, I’ll be all over him. I’ll kill him. If I have to, I’ll push the bullet into his forehead with my own hands.”
VOICE IN THE DARK: “Calm down, Paul. The hook is baited. We almost have them.”
MAN: “You hired me. You knew how I would react. You’ve been counting on it. Don’t try and change me now! God, I hope Marvellous does turn us down. I’m praying for it!”
[CAMERA… CUT to CLOSE UP of Paul Man’s eyes. They are cold and black.

CUT to CLOSE UP of Man’s mouth smiling.

CUT to LONG SHOT of Principal Skinner’s office. Principal Skinner is sitting behind his desk.

CUT to CLOSE UP of Principal Skinner’s face. He is weeping.

END OF SCENE EIGHT

END OF EPISODE FIVE